After a 16-year wait, the U.S. Women are champions of the soccer world once again, ripping Japan 5-2 in Sunday’s Women’s World Cup final to win their third FIFA crown.
Despite it being soccer’s biggest and brightest stage, the final turned out to be a foregone conclusion. Within 16 minutes of kickoff, the U.S. took a 4-0 lead against Japan thanks to a heroic effort by Carli Lloyd, who scored the fastest hat trick in World Cup history. Not only did it bolster her case to take home the Golden Ball, but it also earned her a personal shout out on Twitter from President Obama, which just gives her even more stuff to humbly brag about at this point.
“Speechless. Honestly, I’m so proud of this team,” an emotional Lloyd said in an interview following the victory. ”This doesn’t feel real. It hasn’t sunk in. So unbelievably proud of every single person on this team. We just made history.”
But before the U.S. whooped Japan to take home the title, Fox Sports previewed the big game with the perfect video: Helen Mirren reading Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends while Explosions in the Sky get all epic in the background. It sounds weird, sure, but watch it today, as you attempt to shake off the cobwebs after a long Fourth of July weekend, and see if it doesn’t do the trick. Forget coffee, we’ve got Friday Night Lights.
You’re welcome. Now, how do we get Dame Helen to do voiceover work for every sporting event?