The 20 Worst NFL Instagram Accounts
Instagram – it’s not just that thing you don’t use ever since you got Snapchat.
Turns out, it’s also a great way to get an inside look at the lives of professional athletes, who fill our meaningless moments with photos of expensive cars, gaudy jewelry and the occasional accidental dick pic. What can we say? Instagram makes our gradual walk to the grave just a bit less excruciating.
And while some athletes have mastered the art of the Insta, there are plenty who just can’t figure it out… and the overwhelming majority of them seem to play in the NFL. Whether it’s because of boring or blurry shots, endless abuse of filters or an overflow of sponsored posts, NFL Instagrammers should probably leave the picture-sharing application in the dust. Here are the worst offenders, 20 accounts that are in desperate need of an Insta-overhaul.
1. Colin Kaepernick
A frequently unfunny, oft-shirtless alpha male who fancies himself the NFL’s answer to Matt Foley, Kaepernick manages to incorporate everything truly awful about athletes in one Instagram account – selfies slathered in ego, questionable fashion shoots and a penchant for “inspirational” prose mixed with the occasional (and entirely unsolicited) promotional post. And don’t even get us started on the whole “#7tormsComing” thing.
2. Arian Foster
Do you watch Cosmos? Do you even lift? Arian Foster is kind of like the dude you shared a dorm room with freshman year, only if, instead of Medeski Martin & Wood, he was really into CrossFit and building his VO2 max. That means one minute, he’s hanging out with Neil deGrasse Tyson, the next, he’s posting slo-mo sprint videos. Or “painting poetry,” whatever the fuck that means. He contains multitudes, man, and all of them are annoying.
3. Russell Wilson
The NFL equivalent of the guy who just posts photos of his #bae. Oh, and look, there’s that magic water we’ve heard so much about!
4. James Harrison
We get it, dude, you’re strong. To be fair, we’re only including the ageless Harrison’s account out of spite – dude’s 37 and playing volleyball with medicine balls, while we can’t even walk to the subway (or the Subway) without getting winded. Please don’t kill us, James.
5. Charlie Whitehurst
Judging by his Instagram, there are two things Tennessee Titans quarterback Charlie Whitehurst loves: getting his picture taken while shirtless and hanging out by the water. With his long black hair, thick beard and equally furry Dad Bod, Whitehurst looks like he was plucked out of an old issue of Honcho, and the shots of him seductively sipping a glass of champagne don’t help matters. Sorry, Charlie.
6. Carson Palmer
Creaky Cardinals QB Carson Palmer just joined Instagram this summer, but he made up for lost time with unflattering #TBTs and grotesque surgery shots (complete with inspirational messages). In short, Palmer needed Insta-help; perhaps a recent photo of he and his daughter getting pedicures is a step in the right direction.
7. Prince Amukamara
Sadly not as awesome as you’d expect an Instagram account belonging to a dude named “Prince Amukamara” to be, the cornerback’s feed is essentially little more than a collection of memes a only teenager would post, shaky videos of a dance contest and baby pictures. Lots of baby pictures. You coulda been a king, Prince.
