“Just yesterday, Rio’s acting governor warned ‘The Olympics could be a big failure,’ which is actually an improvement because until yesterday, it looked like a massive catastrophe,” Colbert said.
“The Olympics are in real trouble: Many of the venues are still unfinished, possibly because over $10 billion dollars in construction contracts went to just five firms, all of which are already under investigation for price fixing and kickbacks, and this has already led to top executives being jailed or charged. Though on the plus side for those executives, the prisons won’t be completed until 2036.”
Colbert also pointed to Brazil’s ballooning violent crime rate and a police force strapped by budget shortfalls as reasons why this year’s Olympics could be a nightmare.
“But corruption and crime aren’t the only thing plaguing the Olympics: There is also actual plague,” Colbert said. “Because fear over the Zika virus, which can cause birth defects, has led some athletes to stay home, and others to take special precautions like freezing their sperm.”
Colbert then added some more reasons why the Rio Olympics might be doomed, from a heavily polluted Guanabara Bay, the site of some racing events, to the jaguar that was killed at an Olympics torch ceremony. “I believe that species of jaguar was the Spotted South American Metaphor,” Colbert said.Stephen Colbert suggested fake government agencies Donald Trump could ax after he promised to eliminate the “Department of Environmental.” Watch here.