Until Sunday, it had been 30 years since the Kansas City Royals last won the World Series, so you can forgive their city for making up for lost time at Tuesday’s raucous victory parade, a celebration so all-encompassing it had horses displaying civic pride and fans abandoning their cars by the side of the highway, Walking Dead style.
Somehow, in between all the partying, the Royals also found time to deliver quite a few victory speeches, the overwhelming majority of which stuck to the script – thank the fans, the city, the teammates, the ownership, etc. Lucky for us, Jonny Gomes was there to shake things up.
Perhaps drawing inspiration from the WWE World Heavyweight Championship belt the Royals received after beating the Mets in the Series, Gomes – who, it should be noted, hit just .167 for Kansas City this season and was left off the postseason roster – grabbed a microphone (and an American flag) and delivered a speech that would’ve given even the most dastardly of wrestling heels pause.
“Cy Young winner?” Gomes rhetorically asked the crowd, “Not on our team. Beat ’em. Rookie of the Year? Not on our team. We beat ’em. MVP of the whole league? Sorry guys, not on our team – but we beat that guy too.
“Y’all want to be politically correct?” he shouted. “I’m an un-politically correct person. We whooped their ass.”
As the Kansas City faithful whooped in approval, Gomes, possibly aware he’d just paraphrased “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, then triumphantly tossed the microphone in the air and started a mosh pit with his teammates. And somewhere, WWE champ Seth Rollins nodded approvingly.
Also, not for nothing, but man, Gomes sure does sound like Scott Steiner.