There are plenty of things that can impact an NFL player’s bank account, from over-celebrating in the end zone to roughing the passer to looking at Roger Goodell the wrong way.
Now, excessive flatulence can be added to the exhaustive list.
According to Nicki Jhabvala of The Denver Post, the Broncos have installed a new policy to deter players from passing gas during team meetings. In other words: They have a fart tax, and their star linebacker Von Miller is a repeat offender.
Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he’s been fined the most.
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) June 3, 2015
Of course, Miller isn’t happy about strands of his four year, $21 million deal going down the drain just because he can’t hold in some wind. It doesn’t help that he changed his diet in the offseason to better prepare himself for 2015 (which just so happens to be a contract year), only to see all those healthy, raw vegetables turn into a bloated stomach.
“They can’t fine me if I get up and walk away,” Miller pleaded to The Post. “It’s not healthy. I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.”
You may be right, Von, but it doesn’t look like a doctor’s note will stop the Broncos from changing their policy anytime soon. Oh, wait, they might not actually have one? That’s a shame – it would have added a whole new wrinkle to the “Peyton Manning Face.”