Thought you were done with “Deflategate”? Think again.
On Monday, a federal appeals court ruled that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady must serve the four-game suspension imposed by the NFL for his supposed role in the scandal, which began after the Pats’ AFC Championship game win over the Indianapolis Colts in January 2015.
The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned an earlier decision by District Court Judge Richard Berman, who threw out Brady’s suspension last year and criticized NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for dispensing “his own brand of industrial justice.” The NFL appealed that decision, and in today’s 2-1 ruling, the Circuit Court sided with the commish, saying he “exercised broad discretion under the collective bargaining agreement and…his procedural rulings were properly grounded.”
Brady and the NFL Players Association can petition for another hearing – or appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court – but both moves would only further extend what has already been a lengthy process. And while apoplectic Patriots fans no doubt want their QB to fight the suspension all the way, perhaps it’s time for Tom to accept his fate. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of things he could be doing while Jimmy Garoppolo is taking snaps under center. Like:
- Figuring out ways to Make America Great Again.
- Dunkin’ Donuts runs with dudes named Sully.
- Cleft chin maintenance.
- Eating chicken parm sandwiches with Peyton Manning.
- Doing something that actually warrants a suspension (at least), like choking a woman and tossing her onto a futon covered in assault rifles.
- Pensively lying on a couch in a tailored jacket and “tapered sweatpants.”
- Living the life of Gronk.
- Getting his inevitable appearance on Dancing with the Stars out of the way.
- Preparing for his Supreme Court appeal by writing a lengthy apology letter to Chief Justice (and Bills fan) John Roberts.
- Interrupting Patriots team meetings with tickle-attacks on Bill Belichick.
- Sticking pins in his Roger Goodell voodoo doll.
- Knowingly deflating more footballs.