“During the holidays, you are going to receive at least one profoundly underwhelming gift,” John Oliver says in his latest Last Week Tonight web exclusive. “At some point this month, you will unwrap a present that induces the sort of jaw-dropping disappointment that one normally associates with the term ‘lettuce wrap.'” With the holiday season upon us, Oliver can’t resist doling out some hilarious tips on the tricky art of re-gifting.
These unwanted items could include a scented candle (“a candle that’s extra desperate for attention”), an Edible Arrangement (“which says, ‘I don’t know you very well, but if you’re anything like me, you have to eat or else you’ll die'”) or a stuffed animal (“just a creepy ornament you have to reposition before you can comfortably have sex”).
Oliver breaks down the best way to unload those junk presents without getting caught. First off, create some distance – never re-gift to someone who knows the original gifter. (The most ideal location for a re-gift is an office party secret Santa.) It’s best to personalize the gift by writing a note that’s “intimate yet vague” (like “This is so you!”) and disguise it with a re-wrap, or at least a gift bag.
The most crucial rule: Use no more than a single re-gift per person. “Do not attempt to redistribute all of your gifts amongst your friends and family like a festive Ponzi scheme,” Oliver says.
Last Week Tonight returns with new episodes in February.