The Super Bowl of Movie Marketing: Every Trailer You Need to See

Super Bowl Sunday might not be a national holiday – yet – but the year’s biggest sporting event is edging ever closer to true crowd-pleasing territory, thanks to its perennially popular commercial outings, especially when it comes to splashy (and expensive) movies that are hitting the silver screen soon.

This year’s Big Game offered up the most massive batch of movie trailers yet, with zippy looks at a variety of movies so wide that there was truly something for everyone. From superheroes to dinosaurs, teddy bears to hot tubs, Minions to Vince Vaughn (just go with it), the 2015 movie season just kicked off in a major way. What football?

Furious 7
Forget the New England Patriots – Furious 7 won the Super Bowl. Although we’ve already had a few looks at what the next entry in Hollywood’s most improbable franchise has in store for us – cars, family, family, cars – the film’s marketing team waited to unveil the (literal) big guns for their newest Super Bowl spot. This thing has everything, from beloved homes being blown up to the Rock toting a giant firearm to skydiving cars. Later, cars even jump between buildings for no discernible reason beyond looking just totally badass. Who cares? Furious 7 already looks like the most absurdly amusing and action-packed outing of the year.

Pitch Perfect 2
Is it at all possible that Pitch Perfect 2 won’t be an aca-awesome smash hit that will leave the entire world begging for more cup-based musical numbers and lead to a renewed interest in the soundtrack from The Breakfast Club? Although we still don’t know exactly what the upcoming sequel has in store for us – beyond lots of singing and interesting costume choices – that same giddy charm from the first film is firmly in place in this dizzy, fizzy Big Game spot. What else could we possibly want?

Fifty Shades of Grey
Perhaps you’ve heard that the Fifty Shades of Grey books are popular. You might also be aware that a movie is coming out – this very month! – that is based on the first book in said popular series. But did you know that the trailers for said movie based on said book have been watched by a lot of people, and are thus very popular on their own? Well, you do now. Welcome to movie marketing in 2015.

Ted 2
Yes, that’s really Tom Brady in this trailer for Ted 2, more testament to the star power of Mark Wahlberg and that foul-mouthed little teddy bear. Super Bowl-themed movie trailers were at a minimum this year (though we loved that Packers cameo in the Pitch Perfect 2 spot), so this glimpse of what would happen if Wahlberg and Ted tried to rob (sure?) Tom Brady of his bodily fluids (OK?) at least provided a tiny tie-in to the rest of the game’s proceedings. A perfect spiral!

Jurassic World
The newest entry into the recently revitalized Jurassic Park franchise may look remarkably similar to the very first film in the series – genetically modified dinosaurs run wild, totally screwing up seemingly fun vacation plans in the process – but at least this summer’s Jurassic World offers something new: Chris Pratt doing some dino-whispering. Watch Star-Lord soothe dinosaurs. Watch him charm them. Watch them try to kill him. Perhaps Isla Nublar hasn’t yet hosted a screening of Guardians of the Galaxy and they just don’t understand what they’re up against? Silly dinos.

Tomorrowland
Sadly, Tomorrowland is not a movie about going to Disneyland with George Clooney. Instead, the sci-fi adventure film explores an alternate reality that looks a whole lot like the world imagined by the actual Tomorrowland. And, yes, George Clooney is there (at least we have that). The film’s full plotline has long been kept under wraps, and this new trailer offers a fuller exploration of the Spielberg-faced wonder that awaits us. We still want to go to Disneyland with George Clooney, though.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
You surely already know if you’re going to see the latest full-scale SpongeBob adventure in theaters and, if not, the ear-splitting screams of your little ones as the square-panted anti-hero and his pals graced the small screen during the film’s Big Game spot likely just sealed that for you. This time, SpongeBob and pals take their hijinks out of the ocean, apparently crashing a beachside town a la Jaws and turning vaguely humanoid in the process. Stay out of the water.

Seventh Son
The long-delayed Seventh Son is finally hitting theaters later this week, and the fantasy-heavy actioner now has a bona fide Super Bowl spot to prove it. Effectively cornering the market for “movies about both really big bears and Jeff Bridges being some kind of magical sorcerer dude,” at least the plagued picture looks bold and weird enough to divert our attention away from the nacho plate, albeit momentarily.

Unfinished Business
Hey, Vince Vaughn has a new movie coming out! It’s about unfinished business! It’s called…Unfinished Business! Starring Vaughn, Dave Franco and Tom Wilkinson (kudos to the casting director) as a trio of professional losers, the comedy’s latest spot plays up the tired “like a boss” idea. These guys are like bosses! No, really, they are like bosses because they are not bosses at all. In any case, at least Unfinished Business promises to feature Franco getting nailed with a dart, which should appeal to everyone.

Avengers: Age of Ultron
You know that happy and upbeat superhero movie you’ve been looking for? Look elsewhere. The latest entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe promises to deliver more of the dark stuff, thanks to terrifying robots (led by the eponymous Ultron, who is voiced by the always terrifying James Spader) and a lot of in-fighting amongst Earth’s mightiest heroes. Not interested in internal politics? Not to worry – Iron Man’s “Hulkbuster” armor is here to keep the action utterly (and literally) slammin’.

Terminator: Genisys
“Everything’s changed!” Oh, you don’t say, Terminator: Genisys! This is what happens when timelines are treated like Laffy Taffy, and although we loved seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the saddle as the titular Terminator, the plot of Genisys makes us a balk a little (and that title, that title). Still, this new teaser does work some magic, hinting at what looks to be a large-scale and bridge-set action sequence, Schwarzenegger’s relationship with Emilia Clarke’s Sarah Connor and a glimpse at a CGI-made-human baby-faced Arnie.

Insurgent
While most Big Game commercials offer up snappy 30-second spots, a new trailer for the second entry in the Divergent franchise decided to go super-sized. At a full minute, this bank-busting peek at the Shailene Woodley-starring feature gives us an expanded look at one of the film’s more ambitious (and terrifying) action set pieces, all the better to sell the YA series as something bigger and beefier than previously expected.

Minions
Public nudity is never a good idea, but perhaps it’s somewhat more acceptable if you’re a cute little yellow guy who only possesses one item of clothing to shimmy out of (hey, if the mood overtakes you, better make it easy). The Minions are just like us, you guys, and that includes making some big mistakes while enjoying the big game, but unless the upcoming Despicable Me spin-off is about the little guys attending a sporting event, we still have zero idea what this film is about.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2
You can almost hear the creative wheels turning on this one – “It’s Hot Tub Time Machine, but in the future!” – and although the latest entry into the unexpected franchise has previously promised to offer up a tribute to star Clark Duke’s nerdism in song format, not much else has looked appealing so far. Perhaps that’s why this Super Bowl spot plays on current, football-related events for laughs, from Rob Corddry dressed as patriot (an actual patriot) to a gag about balls. What, there aren’t any Seahawks in the final film? What a loss.

Kingsman: The Secret Service
Every Super Bowl needs a movie trailer that delivers on the action, and Matthew Vaughn’s giddy and jam-packed Kingsman teaser offers that up in spades. Relying on equal parts goodwill (“BAD ASS!”) and impressively amusing sequences (dead guys falling from the sky!), Kingsman is making a big push to grab wing-stuffed Super Bowl audiences by the nuggets. It just might work.