He Mocked Climate Change Protestors. Then Got Roasted by His Ex - Rolling Stone
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A Harvard Senior Complained About Climate Change Protesters — and Was Brutally Roasted by His Ex

Hell hath no fury like a woman denied clitoral orgasms

NEW HAVEN, CT - NOVEMBER 23: Harvard and Yale students protest during the halftime of the college football game between Harvard and Yale at the Yale Bowl in New Haven, CT on Saturday, Nov. 23, 2019. Demonstrators stormed the field during halftime at the Harvard-Yale football game Saturday, delaying the game for about an hour to demand that both universities divest their investments in fossil fuels and to call attention to the issue of climate change. The protest, which began with a few dozen protesters staging a sit-in midfield as the Yale band finished its halftime routine, swelled to about 500 people at one point as others in the stands joined the demonstration. (Photo by Nic Antaya for The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

After a Harvard student went on Fox News to decry climate change activists, his ex-girlfriend brutally owned him for...other reasons.

Nic Antaya/The Boston Globe/Getty Images

It is a truth universally acknowledged that not all heroes wear capes. Some are doctors. Some are human rights lawyers. And some are Harvard undergrads who roast their conservative exes on Twitter for failing to go down on them.

Allison Chang, an applied math major at Harvard, falls into the latter category. On Tuesday, she went viral for her tweets skewering her ex-boyfriend Christopher Colby, a Harvard senior and contributor to Campus Reform, a right-wing national publication that “exposes liberal bias and abuse on the nation’s college campuses.” Colby became the Main Character on Twitter earlier this week with his appearance on Fox and Friends, in which he decried the presence of climate change activists at the Harvard-Yale football game last weekend. The protesters were part of a campaign urging Harvard to divest from fossil fuel companies and Puerto Rican debt holdings.

“I have to say most people were pretty nonplussed,” Colby said on Monday. “The protest was pretty poorly planned.” He referred to the protest as an “empty political activist thing” orchestrated by “liberals” for the sole purpose of irritating students: “They pick our favorite day, and then they do whatever they want with it. I have to say, it’s really quite annoying.”

His semi-correct use of the term “nonplussed” aside, Colby was justifiably roasted on Twitter for his privileged and tone-deaf comments — and then, Chang got involved. “I broke up with this guy a week ago and am honestly feeling so vindicated rn,” she wrote in a reply to a viral tweet of Colby’s Fox and Friends appearance, adding, “he doesn’t eat out, but you already knew that.” Ladies and gentlemen, she had to do it to ’em!

In a phone conversation with Rolling Stone, Chang (who is actually a member of Divest Harvard, but did not participate in the protest last weekend) provided some context on her brief relationship with Colby. The two met a month ago due to their involvement with Harvard’s vaunted Hasty Pudding theatrical group. “It was a fairly apolitical environment to meet someone, so I didn’t know his background at all,” Chang says. Once their mutual friends told her about Colby’s involvement with Campus Reform and his prior appearances on Fox News, she didn’t consider it a dealbreaker: “I thought there was potential for dialogue and exchange of views, so I was really optimistic.”

According to Chang, the two broke up a few weeks ago for reasons that had little to do with their divergent political views or his sexual performance, and they parted on amicable terms. (Colby didn’t respond to request for comment.) But when she saw his appearance on Fox & Friends, it “tipped me over the edge, to be honest,” she says. She strongly disagreed with his assessment of the crowd’s reaction to the protests, which she say were incredibly “powerful” and “didn’t actually delay the game that much,” and she was particularly annoyed that Colby would go on TV to criticize the protests, as he had previously expressed his support for climate change activism to her. “Either he lied to me or he sold out to Fox,” she says. “Probably both. So I don’t feel that bad for roasting him for it.”

As is internet news cycle tradition, Chang’s tweets begat a smaller social media scandal within a larger one: to date, it’s gotten more than 2,500 likes, and she has gained more than 2,000 followers in less than 24 hours. Most of the conversation has, unsurprisingly, focused less on Harvard students’ divestment campaign and more on whether right-wing men have an innate aversion to cunnilingus. “It’s interesting how this has become a political thing in itself, with people being like, ‘Obviously he didn’t eat out, he’s conservative,'” she says. Still, she says her intention was less to embarrass Colby and more to “add some levity” to the conversation and draw attention to the 42 protesters charged with disorderly conduct following the Harvard/Yale football game action.

As for why she dated a guy who refused to go south in the first place, “I’m not going to get into it, but other things were pretty good,” she says. “So that’s all I’ll say about that, I guess.”

 

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