On Thursday afternoon, professional far-right trolls Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman held a “press conference” featuring what they promised to be explosive allegations regarding Sen. Elizabeth Warren. In reality, it was a sparsely attended melange of journalists looking for Twitter fodder congregated outside a garage, with a sign saying “Elizabeth Warren: Cougar?” The completely made-up claims were as follows: The improbably named Kelvin Whelly, a former Marine, claimed that last year, Warren had hired him via the male escort agency Cowboys4Angels and engaged in a steamy extramarital affair with him, involving, among other things, lite BDSM and threesomes with busty blondes. A printout distributed during the gathering detailed the allegations, which read like erotica written by a 13-year-old who had seen Fifty Shades of Grey once, and didn’t really get it.
Because Wohl is a felon who has openly admitted to lying to promote President Donald Trump, no one took the claims seriously, and people on Twitter immediately started taking them apart. There was, however, one correct fact contained therein: Cowboys4Angels is, in fact, a real “elite male companion” agency, which is best known for being featured on the Showtime series Gigolos.
To be clear, the story was nonsense, likely culled from Skinemax plotlines and airport bookstore paperbacks bought by middle-aged health care company consultants traveling to Rochester on business. (The accuser also seemed to not quite buy the act, as he reportedly kept laughing while trying to read his statement.) But the Cowboys4Angels namedrop indicated that at the very least, in terms of their knowledge of softcore premium cable series, Wohl and Burkman had done their homework.
But the question remained: Was Whelly actually employed at Cowboys4Angels, and did Wohl team up with the agency as part of an elaborate PR grab? Garren James, the owner and CEO of Cowboys4Angels, says no.
“We went through and searched all of our employment requests and all our contacts because we save the names. The guy never even applied to be at our agency,” he tells Rolling Stone.
But perhaps Whelly provided his services at Cowboys4Angels under another name? After seeing Whelly’s (again, bogus) Instagram, James stuck to his guns. “This guy never worked for me. I would never even hire that guy,” he says, adding that Whelly is “not up to caliber to work at our agency.”
When asked if Warren, one of the frontrunners of the Democratic presidential primary had ever procured the services of his agency, James again said no. “I have many other high-profile clients that I would never reveal, but she’s not one of them,” he says.
There you have it. Good thing the Elizabeth Warren campaign has a good sense of humor about it.
It's always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it. pic.twitter.com/fHasLm0j9P
— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) October 3, 2019