Here’s a shocker:
The AP headline doesn’t really get to the wet-and-wild nub of it:
Ninety-Five Percent of Americans, young and old, engage or once engaged in pre-nuptial nookie, according to a longitudinal survey of the sexual behavior of more than 38,000 people.
UPDATE: My sister-in-law, an STD doc for L.A. County, highlights this finding for me: “I think what’s really interesting about this is that they interviewed folks born in the 1940’s and 1950’s as well. So much for saying that times have changed! It’s probably that one no longer is frowned upon for disclosing premaritial sex.”
What’s more, three fourths of all Americans give it up to somebody other than their spouse by age 20. All of which suggests that the Bush administration’s $100 million anti-fucking campaigns are worse than fucking futile, they’re fucking anti-American.
This tops off a terrific triumverate of holiday news.
First: Booze is good for you.
Second: Valued at $35 billion, marijuana is America’s top cash crop.
And third: Everybody fucks.
So get out there and enjoy your Christmas parties America.
It’s OK. Everybody’s doing it.