Only one awards show can deliver that special blend of booze and ego that makes a three-hour telecast feel like. . . well, an entertaining three-hour telecast. Under the brilliant leadership of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, last night's 71st Annual Golden Globes Awards had it all: jokes about pubic hair and herpes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus puffing an e-cigarette, esteemed actresses literally holding their shoes above their heads onstage. As Rob Sheffield put it, the night "turned into a rowdy celebrity pageant of Wasted Ladies Kicking Ass." When the rivers of champagne finally stopped flowing, we were left with these 20 highlights and lowlights.

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By Caryn Ganz, Kory Grow and Blaine McEvoy