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10 Most WTF Crime Stories of 2017

From a drug-fueled orgy at the Vatican to accidental circumcision-by-gun, the craziest news stories of the year

This past year, following the news was more exhausting than usual. Those in political power have finally melded reality TV and politics, and now each day lurches forward in nightmare time. Are we going to war with a country our leaders can’t locate on a map? Will you lose your healthcare, and be forced to visit a disgraced former doctor running an ersatz clinic in the woods behind a Jiffy Lube? Welcome to a world where you can’t tell what’s a New York Times article and what comes from The Onion.

Yet despite the overall terribleness of 2017, it was actually a very good year for dumb crimes – the kind of In Cold Blood-brutality meets America’s Funniest Home Videos-crassness that our country does best. Here’s a quick roundup of most WTF crime stories of 2017 – at least those that happened outside the White House. 

He hid from the cops in the ceiling – then fell through and landed right in front of them.

Guy Hiding From Cops Falls Through Ceiling, Lands in Front of Them

Earlier this month, Justin Thompson was a 29-year old on the run from the law in Scranton, Pennsylvania. There was a warrant out for his arrest for aggravated assault and harassment charges, stemming from an incident in September. So when officers showed up to search his 26-year-old girlfriend’s house, Thompson hid in a crawl space, apparently doing his best impression of John McClane in Die Hard.

Unfortunately, the crawl space couldn’t support his weight, and Thompson crashed through the ceiling, landing in the kitchen, right in front of the cops who were looking for him. Worse, they tacked on a charge of endangering children because he nearly landed on some kids.

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