Ran for: Five episodes, 1983
One of the greatest Hollywood movies of all time is given the prequel treatement, and the result isn't worth a hill of beans. David Soul may have made up one half of the greatest TV-cop duos of the Seventies (long live Ken "Hutch" Hutchinson!), but no man should be forced to walk a mile in Bogart's shoes or his impeccable white-tux jacket. NBC quickly realized that a weekly series would not be the start of a beautiful friendship, and pulled the series after only two of the five episodes aired. Seen today, it's most notable for the fact that a young Ray Liotta shows up as the joint's bartender and the voice of Hong Kong Phoeey himself, Scatman Crothers, tickles the ivories for the inevitabke rendition of "As Time Goes By." The series is now available on DVD, but trust us: You don't want to play it again.
Success rate: 1