Ted Cruz is gaining ground on Donald Trump in the delegate total, but as Stephen Colbert observed during Thursday's Late Show, the GOP race is hurtling toward a contested convention. Many high-ranking Republicans have been reluctant to endorse Cruz: "Idaho Senator and inappropriately chipper funeral director Jim Risch" issued the most backhanded endorsement of all-time, saying he arrived at the candidate through a process of elimination – and because "at this point, there's no choice."
Considering the Texas senator's current appeal, Colbert arrived at a new campaign slogan, "Ted Cruz: Abandon All Hope." ("'Endorsement' means throwing up in your mouth a little bit, right?" he cracked.)
With the race between Cruz and Trump heating up, Colbert considered the reality of a contested convention, wherein "no candidate holds a decisive majority of delegates, so the nominee is chosen through wheeling and dealing."
The strangest outcome would be the GOP nominating a person who didn't even run, and popular names have included Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Colbert issued some other options: "Scrooge McDuck, a Ouija board that spells out Ronald Reagan" and a "bald eagle wearing a pair of pleated Khakis."