Watch 'Orange Is the New Black' Cast Confess to Roughing Up Santa

"'Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody video finds Litchfield prisoners telling tale of Saint Nick visit gone wrong

The 'Orange is the New Black' cast confesses to robbing and roughing up Santa in a hilarious Christmas video

Orange Is the New Black is expected to return with its fourth season next summer – but to help tide over fans, the Litchfield inmates have issued a hilarious, suitably dark Yuletide greeting with a parody of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." As expected, Santa's fate is a bit different in this version.

"Cell phones were stashed in the walls all around / In hopes that the contraband wouldn't be found," explain Red (Kate Mulgrew) and Poussey (Samira Wiley). The prisoners, upon hearing a ruckus outside, wonder if a "riot" is going down, but they soon spot a bizarre-looking "old white dude" whom Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning) confuses for Jesus, accompanied by "eight little cute-ass reindeer."

After noticing his sleigh stash, the inmates seize an opportunity: As Mendoza (Selenis Leyva) explains, "We may have robbed and roughed up St. Nick.” For a brief moment, the Litchfield crew enjoy their newly acquired presents – books for the library, tampons, porn, "a brand new vibrating screwdriver for Boo" – but the story ends with lockdown and Santa fleeing the scene.