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Watch Homer and Marge Simpson Quash Divorce Rumors

"Can't these news media guys cover more important things like LeBron's junk?!" says Simpsons patriarch

America's sweethearts, Homer and Marge Simpson, made a joint statement regarding the gossip that began earlier this month that they would "legally separate" after 27 seasons and countless quarrels. As it turns out, the rumors were so baseless, not even Homer knew about them.

In a short, silly clip, Marge explains how the story started on CNN — it was actually a Variety interview with longtime Simpsons producer Al Jean — and quickly went viral around the world, to which Homer responds, "So that's why Apu went tsk tsk tsk when he sold me that beer at 8 a.m.... It wasn't really morning, because I hadn't really gone to sleep! Can't these news media guys cover more important things like LeBron's junk?!"

Despite Homer's insistence that he and Marge are solid as a rock, he almost ruins everything, again, mentioning a near-affair and then getting called out for never changing Maggie's diaper. But as their youngest adorably dangles from a rope above them, wielding a bow and arrow like Cupid, Homer gets down on one knee, "hardly apologizes" to his beloved for all his actions during the video and asks for forgiveness.

But before Marge can fully answer, Cupid unleashes her arrow right in Homer's eye. "Don't worry honey, daddy will be fine," Marge assures. "No I won't!" wails Homer. "I'll never see again — call CNN!"

As for the episode in question, the plot Jean teased seems no more scandalous than the various other Simpsons episodes in which Homer and Marge's marriage is suddenly on the rocks. "In the premiere, it's discovered after all the years Homer has narcolepsy, and it's an incredible strain on the marriage," Jean said. "Homer and Marge legally separate, and Homer falls in love with his pharmacist," who is voiced by Girls creator-star Lena Dunham.

The Simpsons Season 27 premieres September 27th on Fox.