The late-night topic du jour is Brexit, Britain's vote to leave the European Union. And Conan's writing staff has cranked out so many zingers, they've wound up with a surplus – "way too many for me to actually do," Conan O'Brien admitted during a recent monologue. "But I paid for them. I paid good money for them, and I don't want them to go to waste." The host took the next logical step: unveiling Nigel the Brexitbot 3000, "a robot that only tells Brexit jokes."
Nigel rolled out onstage and delivered a round of snarky, deadpan punchlines that gradually devolved from Brexit into rote stand-up clichés. "Hey, how about that Brexit, huh?" Nigel said, warming up the crowd. "I haven't seen this many Brits pull out since Madonna was dating. Hey-oh!"
"This is the worst thing to happen to England since Simon Cowell was born. Ka-pow!" the robot continued. "The Brexit will make prices go up in Britain, so it will cost them twice as much to not go to the dentist." The lowest blow: "I don't want to say the British are inbred, but their family tree is a wreath."
From there, Nigel took aim at conservative politician Boris Johnson, "a tall drink of gravy" whom he said "looks like Donald Trump if he drowned." Gaining stand-up sentience, Nigel annoyed O'Brien with a round of impressions (Steven Hawking, Al Pacino on the toilet) and generic comic observations.