Stephen Colbert reprised his role as the conservative pundit from The Colbert Report on The Late Show on Monday night. In this guise, he analyzed President Trump's recently proposed budget, satirizing the motivations behind the President's decision to cut funding for Meals on Wheels, a program that delivers food to the elderly.
"The primary goal of Trump's budget is not driving Cheetos to grandpa after he gets the munchies from his glaucoma pot," Colbert asserted during the latest "WERD" segment. "It's defending America. And these food-addicted seniors haven't killed any members of ISIS."
Conservative Colbert took the stage brandishing a sword and Captain America's shield as the horn riff from Outkast's "SpottieOttieDopaliscious" blared in the background. He then sat behind a desk and played with pen and blue paper, just as he used to do as the host of The Colbert Report.
He derided Meals on Wheels as both a waste of money and a distraction from urgent issues of national security. "I know what you're saying … they brought food to the elderly," Colbert said. "[But] we all know what happens to food when we eat it – we are literally throwing food down the toilet." "If we want to keep America safe," he added, "why waste money on Meals on Wheels that could be used on weapons systems?"
Colbert also mock-defended Mick Mulvaney, President Trump's director of the Office of Management and Budget. "A lot of people say that Mulvaney is being cruel to old people," Colbert noted. "That's not fair. He's also being cruel to young people, because here's the deal: this budget also cuts after-school lunch programs for poor kids."
Colbert ended the segment with a thinly veiled call to action. "My real worry here is that a lot of people might go to house.gov and find out how to call their Congressman and tell them to protect kids and old people," he said.