Amy Schumer charmingly tripped her way through 2014's biggest films in her opening montage for this year's MTV Movie Awards, scoring some hosting advice along the way from Boyhood's bright-eyed Ellar Coltrane, The Hunger Games' Elizabeth Banks and Whiplash's always-inspiring J.K. Simmons.
Of course every odyssey must begin with trials and tribulations, and after mulling life's statistical inevitabilities — getting HPV and ending up as a contestant on The Bachelor — alongside Coltrane, things get worse when she's cut from Pitch Perfect's Barden Bellas. Yet, as she learns from her snack choice in a Divergent send up, her true destiny is not to sing a cappella, but host the MTV Movie Awards.
To prepare, Schumer seeks out Simmons' help, but her tempo is weak and her jokes — "I want to be the guardian of Chris Pratt's abs" — drag. Simmons constructive criticism doesn't do much for her confidence. Banks, reprising her role as Effie Trinket, tries to a bit more helpful, but uninspired by Schumer's plans to "have a stank night," she won't even offer up a conciliatory, "May the odds be ever in your favor."
Schumer was then lifted onto the stage where she navigated her way in an out of a cadre of dancers before firing off the ceremonial first arrow of the MTV Movie Awards — inadvertently killing Jimmy Kimmel in the process.
While Kimmel was the only literal casualty of Schumer's monologue, the comedian offered up some sharp barbs at the assembled masses, and herself. "Half of you don't know who I am, and half of you think I'm Meagan Trainor," she joked.
Be sure to check out Schumer's full monologue, in which she also took aim at Kevin Hart, whom she said should be awarded the "Can't Say No to a Movie Award"," and even Harrison Ford. "This is going to be the party of the year," Schumer said in closing. "I just hope Harrison Ford doesn't crash it!"