Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ventured to Washington D.C. for Donald Trump's inauguration, braving the scattered crowds and skewering the "inspiring mass of overweight, over-aged, predominately white humanity" on Conan Monday.
Robert Smigel's cigar-smoking puppet unleashed a flood of vicious burns, offering the crowd extra tickets to sit in the anti-Semitic and anti-Muslim sections. "I have a lot in common with Trump, actually – the only difference is the hand up my ass isn't Vladimir Putin's," he said.
Elsewhere, Triumph handed out alternative "Make America Great Again" hats with fresh slogans like, "America Gonna Great Yes," "Hey Bitch, Bring Me A Coors" and "I Have No Idea What's Going On." He also attempted to bring liberals and conservatives together over their shared love of Betty White – only to chop up acclaim for the actress into a brutal montage of people saying, "White forever," "White is the best" and "White power."
Triumph closed his inauguration trip with one last try at bridging America's massive political divide. However, he was barely able to get the words out of his mouth, barfing each time he said, "President Trump."
Watch Donald Trump's inauguration speech pledging 'America First.'