"It was so lonely in New York doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted," "Trump" remorsefully told Colbert about the change in location. "I called it 'my prison of freedom.'"
For the move into the White House, the First Lady packed light: A toothbrush and a framed photo of that viral moment where Melania rebuffed Donald's attempts to hold her hand during a trip to Israel. "Fake news, Stephen! His hands are so small, I thought it was mosquito," she explained.
"Melania" then informed Colbert that, barring an impeachment, "We will be together in the White House for 1,315 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes and 20 seconds."
She added, "Here's the thing: America took a vow, and Donald Trump is our president, for better or worse, for richer and even richer, in sickness and in no healthcare, and we must honor that no matter how often America fantasizes about being with Justin Trudeau."
"Melania" previously appeared on The Late Show to discuss her First Lady plans as well as plagiarizing her Republican national convention speech.