Axl Rose spoke out twice yesterday about the Red Hot Chili Peppers' admittedly "mimed" Super Bowl halftime show performance. Upon learning that the Chili Peppers' instruments indeed were not plugged in, by Flea's own admission, the Guns N' Roses frontman tweeted sarcastically that they "got that karaoke thing going for 'em! Awesome!"
Earlier in the day, Rose penned an equally wry op-ed piece for Billboard, before Flea's open letter explaining how halftime show producers had insisted the band perform to a prerecorded track hit the Internet. Photos showing Flea's unplugged bass began circulating on the web on Monday, and Rose felt he needed to speak out on the "controversy."
After saying he enjoyed the show and that he wanted to "give the benefit of the doubt," Rose offered the sort of hypothesis you'd hear in a locker room. "Consider that maybe sometime before their actual performance that rather than use a guitar cord or standard wireless, that in the name of science and for all mankind, Flea courageously had a newly invented breakthrough in microchip technology installed in his ass that picked up the frequencies of his bass and transmitted them to his amplifier," he wrote.
"Maybe they all had microchips installed in their asses and not only pick up the frequencies of their instruments but get Direct TV and the Internet, too!" the Guns N' Roses frontman offered. "Like Google Glass . . . Google Ass! They could be 'Scientific Pioneers!' Like Buzz Aldrin and shit! True (pardon the pun) ASS-tro-nots! Or like Superbowl crash test dummies for bands kinda like those cars that drive themselves!"
Then, considering the alternative that turned out to be a reality, Rose found a new way to give the benefit of the doubt. "If the band wasn't really playing or wireless or whatever and Anthony was really singing, they may have set a new world record for the largest karaoke audience ever!"
As he signed off his original post, he made a quizzical reference to the Chili Peppers finding "a new pinnacle of human achievement not seen since the sign language guy in South Africa," and bid farewell: "God Bless America, the Peppers n' technology... PN'T!"
Later, after Flea's admission came out, Rose tweeted, "Oh well, so much for science!" He then shifted attention back to sign language and South Africa. "They're right up there with the sign language guy, whose deep n' heartfelt dedication, absolute total commitment, conviction (or maybe that was just the other 3 tire binding, poor sob burning murderers), absence of sanity, and ultimate public achievement should not b forgotten!" he wrote. "God Bless Mandela for his consideration n' generosity, for foreseeing this noble event and kicking the bucket (too soon?) allowing us this, not unlike the Superbowl [sic], historic, heroic n' amazing event! Amen!!"