8. Debbie Downer
Rachel Dratch's buzzkill goddess travels everywhere from Disney World to Vegas, but she always brings that sad trombone music with her. A birthday bash, a wedding, a bachelorette party — you can always count on Debbie to be there to bring up feline AIDS or the latest earthquakes. Like mad cow disease, she can ravage your brain.
Best line: "By the way, it's official — they've located my birth mother. Deceased."