7. '911 Beets Emergency'
"Sir, it's always beets!" One of the most gloriously nonsensical sketches in Portlandia's history, this sublimely funny bit finds Brownstein and Armisen effectively using beets — the key ingredient in borscht, FYI — to poke fun at something that you'd think would be decidedly unfunny: 911 emergency calls. It layers in several of the show's key elements, from Brownstein and Armisen's charming chemistry to a bizarre spin on workplace drama, all with a bonus Jeff Goldblum appearance (perfectly coated in beets, naturally).