South Park took on Tom Brady and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell during Wednesday night's season 19 premiere – but they weren't the only ones who got blitzed.
Patriots coach Bill Belichick, Caitlyn Jenner, Brett Favre and bros everywhere were also scorched on a wide-ranging episode that centered on out-of-control political correctness, which descends on the sleepy Colorado town in the form of the Oakley-wearing PC Principal, who, in keeping with the football theme, kind of looked like an amalgamation of John Elway and Ryan Leaf, with a smidge of Philip Rivers.
After the aggro new principal assumes power at South Park Elementary, he begins weeding out any and all assumed intolerance and gender-specific speech, mostly by doling out detentions and beatdowns. As you might expect, this doesn't sit well with Cartman, who is almost immediately handed a four-day bid, and Kyle, who refuses to admit that Jenner is a hero (or, more specifically, his hero). What is surprising is that the normally cantankerous Cartman doesn't seem willing to fight his suspension – until he receives a hallway pep talk that invokes his hero, Brady.
"What would Tom Brady say if he got caught shoplifting?" he's asked.
"Everybody shoplifts, why are you coming down on me?" Cartman responds.
The comes the follow-up: "And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator?"
"A perfect story of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end," Cartman replies.
That conversation, of course, inspires Cartman to "Tom Brady this thing," going to PC Principal and attempting to blackmail him into lifting the detention. This backfires, and Cartman gets beaten down – which leads to the hospital-bed hallucination above, incredible for both its profanity and its accuracy in summing up the nine months of drama surrounding "Deflategate" (and, really, 2007's "Spygate," too).
Without giving too much away, it all culminates in a political-correctness clash that somehow managed to diss Favre for his less-than-enthusiastic response to Jenner at the ESPYs ("Its called clapping Favre, what the fuck are you doing? Washing your hands?"), jab at both bleeding-heart liberals and stone-faced conservatives and remind us that, as always, Tom Brady comes out on top. More proof that, even at its most absurd, South Park is still plenty real.