15 Conversations the White Sox Can Finally Have Without Drake LaRoche

Team threatened a boycott after Adam LaRoche's son was banned from the clubhouse, but at least now they can talk about girls and stuff

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The spat between Adam LaRoche and the Chicago White Sox is unquestionably the strangest saga of Spring Training, and it's only getting weirder by the day.

It all began on Tuesday, when the 36-year-old LaRoche abruptly announced he was retiring, walking away from the game he'd played professionally for a dozen years and a $13 million payday from the Sox. The following day, it was reported LaRoche was angry that team president Ken Williams had asked him to limit the amount of time his 14-year-old son, Drake, spent at Chicago's Spring Training facilities, something Williams subsequently confirmed.

"I don't think he should be here 100 percent of the time – and he has been here 100 percent, every day, in the clubhouse. I said I don't even think he should be here 50 percent of the time," Willams said. "We all think this kid is a great young man. I just felt it should not be every day, that's all. You tell me, where in this country can you bring your child to work every day?"

That eventually led to a heated closed-door meeting between the team and front office execs, and LaRoche's former teammates were apparently so irate that they threatened to boycott a Spring Training game in a show of solidarity. Soon, athletes from all over – and one of the Duck Dynasty dudes – were throwing their support behind LaRoche, who has reportedly yet to file his retirement papers with Major League Baseball.

And while Drake was apparently so beloved by team that he had been dubbed the Sox' "26th man," we suspect some players were relieved they no longer had to hang out with a 14-year-old all day long. Aside from finally being able to chew their tobacco in peace, they're now free to say whatever they want in the clubhouse – including these too-hot-for-teens topics.

  • Girls and stuff.
  • BMX jumps.
  • How Robin Ventura doesn't even know what Snapchat is.
  • Why K.C. Undercover is pretty good, but Best Friends Whenever is totally better.
  • The eighth grade dance.
  • Our annoying little brothers.
  • Whether hanging out with the cast of Duck Dynasty will one day constitute "being on the wrong side of history."
  • Zayn's sick new head tattoo.
  • How Chris Sale's parents are getting divorced, but he's not that bummed, because it means he'll have two Christmases now.
  • Butts.
  • Which AXE body spray to wear so you don't have to take a shower after gym class.
  • Why only babies still play Pokémon.
  • Who can grow the best whispy mustache.
  • The best flavor of Mountain Dew Kickstart (it's Midnight Grape).
  • Getting to third base.
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