12 Delicious Recipes From Tom Brady's New Cookbook

Patriots QB is releasing his very own "nutrition manual," and we got a sneak peek at some of the things you'll be baking with Brady

Tom Brady knows good food. And his new book is proof. Credit: Chris Szagola/ZumaPress

You've got to hand it to Tom Brady: He's making the most of his four-game "Deflategate" ban.

While he cools his heels (or prepares his appeal), the Patriots' quarterback is releasing the TB12 Nutrition Manual, a deluxe "living document" ­– don't call it a cookbook ­­– that reveals the secrets of Brady's heavily regimented diet plan and comes complete with "89 seasonally-inspired recipes that you can use to support your TB12-alligned nutrition plan." Sounds, uh, delicious.

Given that Tom Terrific is involved, this is no mere book. It's printed on "thick 100-pound text paper," features "covers made from natural wood" and comes branded with "a laser-etched TB12 logo and title." To the best of our knowledge, the $200 price tag is not etched by a laser.

Brady's book won't ship until early June – sorry, Pats fans, the initial printing has already sold out – but Rolling Stone was able to obtain a copy early, and we're revealing some of those "seasonally-inspired recipes" right now. Because while Tom has plenty of time on his hands, we know you can't wait to get in the kitchen and start cooking.

  • Cream of Gronk Soup
  • Dunkin' Donuts (like, literally a box of Dunkin' Donuts)
  • Donald Trump's 'Build a Wall' Mexican Surprise
  • A football-shaped soufflé, slowly deflated by a nefarious equipment manager as part of an elaborate scheme
  • Cleft-chin casserole with Tom's special ridiculously handsome sauce
  • Giselle's Master Cleanse – lemons, cayenne pepper and an inherent sense of superiority
  • Some kind of clam-based chowder
  • A life-sized Roger Goodell effigy, which shall be burned
  • Bill Belichick's Signature Surly Steak
  • A tube of raw cookie dough, to be consumed while wearing boxer shorts and staring vacantly into the refrigerator during Tom's four-game suspension