Heavy metal is the idiot-bastard spawn of rock, the eternal embarrassment that will not die. It's music that doesn't care what you think. Like some mythical beast that's part tyrannosaur – slow-moving and pea brained – and part Hydra – multiheaded and malevolent – heavy metal just keeps forging on, flattening everything in its path.

Radio, by and large, won't play it, but so...