Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode 12, the grand finale:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Two Sentences: The battle of the Penthouse Pet vs. the Girl Next Door came to an end as Bret Michaels flew his two final women — Taya and Mindy — on a “private jet” to the “Dominican Republic” (his quotation marks for some unknown reason, not ours) for two final dates and one big decision. Bret tangoed with a mostly mute Mindy and Ziplined with a suddenly demure Taya (yes, he shouted “Hey-oh!” as he plunged through the jungle) and the girls got fitted for engagement rings … (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference Showgirls in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode 11:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: The final three girls hit Miami with Bret — sporting braids thanks to his Spring Break trip to Cancun, we presume — who reveals, “If there’s one thing I love, it’s Carnival” and dresses everyone up in skimpy Mardi Gras outfits. This puts Mindy in a funk, which becomes the theme of the episode: girls in crappy moods. During helicopter and swamp-boat-gatoring dates, Michaels pumps the ladies for info about Taya’s mental stability, and after an awkward dinner where nobody speaks, he throws the gauntlet. (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode 10:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Five Sentences: Bret Michaels invites the girls to “make sweet music” with him at an Orlando studio, so the four finalists write lyrics to one of his songs (that sounds suspiciously like “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” — just kidding … kind of) and perform them, too. As a bonus, an old issue of Rolling Stone is seen laying on the bed while Jamie crafts her song (thanks, ROL!). Taya, who says she’s been singing with her father for years, wins the challenge while poor tone-deaf Mindy flails. Beverly and Taya join Bret for a gig, then he dons a chef’s jacket and cooks everyone eggs. It’s nice to know the rock & roll lifestyle is alive and well. (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode nine:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: As we mercifully draw closer to the conclusion of this dreadful, joyless season of Rock of Love, Bret Michaels brings in the girls’ ex-boyfriends and two interrogators — our beloved Heather from ROL season one, and season two “winner” Ambre. After some contentious questioning (Brittanya spits at Heather, and Ashley has to admit she still lives with her muscle-bound tattooed ex, James), the pair decide their favorite is Mindy. So where’s this American Idol twist you may be asking … (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode eight:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: In Spring Break capital of the world, Panama City, Florida, Bret puts his ladies to the test hosting a kids pool party while he watches on a very rock & roll “nanny cam.” The winner: Ashley (”I might dance on the weekend, but Monday through Friday I am a stay-at-home mom”) rides ATVs with Bret, but the date turns sour when Michaels talks smack about her BFF Farrah. Hint: this is what we in the literary world would call foreshadowing.

Hey-Oh!: For the first time this season, Bret referenced his favorite song — his own “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”! (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “speed bump” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode seven:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: After another week off (this time it was the Oscars), Bret’s girls head to Alabama to compete in the Truck Stop Games. Events include a beer-belly flop, a stripper-pole showdown and some sort of hotdog hand-off (not as dirty as it sounds). When the truckers judging the contest make a slightly unfair, boob-related ruling in favor of the Green Team, Bret takes the runners-up onto his bus for some special alone time that gets so icky thanks to Ashley, new recruit Kami splits the next morning. (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “smoking hot” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode six:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Four Sentences: Bret’s tour lurches to Nashville, and rather than celebrate the city’s rich musical history, Michaels has his remaining 10 girls visit a giant slimy field for the tackle-football extravaganza known as Mud Bowl 3. Mindy the MVP joins Michaels for a show in Texas where she gets to eat a giant corn dog (seriously, that’s not a double entendre; check minute 31). Unfortunately for the rest of the winning Sweethearts team, Bret receives word that a friend has died in Iraq moments before his group date. And … buzz kill. (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “smoking hot” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode five:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Five Sentences: First of all, Rock of Love went on hiatus the week of the Super Bowl but aired Sunday night against the Grammys!? So much for honoring rock & roll, Bret. While the music industry celebrates its biggest night, Michaels brings his girls to a strip club in Missouri (since the women didn’t know where that is, chances are they missed his “Meet Me in St. Louis” reference) for a makeover challenge. But wait, there’s a catch! The three “frumpy” gals wind up joining the tour because Brets’ original crew are neither smoking, hot or hotties. (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “poop” in our recaps (it’s surprisingly easy). Here’s our take on episode four:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: Is Bret Michaels trying to find “love” or is this show an elaborate plot to knock off women in vinyl underwear? This week Maria exits via ambulance and Taya takes a spill off the stage during the Roadie Challenge that looks damn near deadly. But the real kicker is that all the real dirty drama goes down at Michaels’ gig’s afterparty … that Bret is too pooped to attend — so much for being a real rock & roller! (more…)

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode one:

Ninety Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: In the most clever move recorded in reality television, Bret Michaels figures out how to combine his day job with his side hustle, taking 20 women on the road to vie for his attention while his band continues to tour the States — yes, Rock of Love has gone mobile! In episode one, Michaels does his usual bit: snaps photos of the ladies, then watches them drink and fight. Though one of his delicate flowers takes a test-tube shot where no test-tube shot has ever gone before. … (more…)

Next week marks a very special occasion for us at Rock Daily: the season premiere of CMT’s Gone Country 2. On the reality series, John McCain fan John Rich of Big & Rich invites a bunch of very non-country B-list celebrities to his Nashville mansion to try and convert them into marketable country stars. Last season ended with Julio Iglesias Jr.’s stunning victory over favorites Bobby Brown and American Idol’s Diana DeGarmo. Leading the charge for this season’s cast is Sebastian Bach, who crossed genres brilliantly on MTV’s Celebrity Rap Superstar and stands as the early favorite. Also ready to rock a cowboy hat are Chris Kirkpatrick of ‘NSYNC (and VH1’s Man Band), Jermaine Jackson and this season’s prerequisite American Idol reject, Mikalah Gordon. Rounding out the cast is actors Lorenzo Lamas (who you’ll recognize from those terrible action movies HBO airs at roughly 3:15 in the morning) and recently rehabbed Sean Young of Blade Runner and Ace Ventura “Finkle is Einhorn” fame. The season two premiere will air next Friday, August 15th, at 8 pm.

A Supreme Hour In Five Sentences: Bronx spitfire Rece Steele narrowly defeated her new best-bud, the spunky Russo-Brooklynite Byata, in the ultimate battle for Miss Rap Supreme. For their final test, the girls had to write an original song to be performed with L.A.’s coulda-been Dap-Tones, Breakestra. Byata came a little granola, telling a backpacker-friendly story about the path to her hip-hop greatness. Celebrity judge Missy Elliott asked fellow judge Mona Scott (an industry vet) if she could even remember the hook and eventually came up blank. The usually fierce Rece Steele didn’t disappoint, running around the stage and coming so hard that even challenger Byata was singing along — eventually taking the $100,000, the title of Miss Rap Supreme, a week of MySpace hits and, most importantly, the honor of being serenaded by Kool Keith! (more…)

Ego Trip and VH1’s Miss Rap Supreme seeks “a woman who will put female rap back on the map.” Is the next Kim, Foxy or Eve in the Fembassy Hotel? Rock Daily is watching, ma.

A Supreme Hour In Three Sentences: After shooting some targets at the Los Angeles Gun Club (Ms. Cherry — out on bond — had to sit this one out), the girls spit a 16-bar verse about bringing peace to the streets. Byata totally blanked (”uh huh. yeah. we gotta do it for the children”), Ms. Cherry stumbled on her words and Rece Steel stared at her feet. Chiba was the only femcee that brought it, so of course now was the perfect time for everyone to jump down her throat at her about using pre-writtens. (more…)

Ego Trip and VH1’s Miss Rap Supreme seeks “a woman who will put female rap back on the map.” Is the next Kim, Foxy or Eve in the Fembassy Hotel? Rock Daily is watching, ma.

A Supreme Hour In Four Sentences: The episode began in true reality-show fashion, with Rece Steel barfing champagne and vodka all over her bed. Serch made everyone show off their hidden talents — though Nicky2States’ pathetic hula-hooping and Chiba’s abortive double-dutching assured whatever talent they had remained hidden. Finally, with the help of Just Blaze, the teams had to make a clean hip-pop song for the radio — promptly judged, live on the air, at L.A. hip-hop station KDAY. Byata led her team to victory for a third time, but if anything was ultimately decided, it’s that a Just Blaze beat can make anyone sound dope. (more…)

The final three performed three song apiece on last night’s American Idol: a judge’s pick, their own selection, and a track chosen by the show’s producers in an attempt to demonstrate each hopeful’s commercial viability as the season edges to its conclusion. So what happened? David Archuleta’s right hand reached out even more than usual (perhaps he was grasping for his backstage-banned dad?), David Cook brought the big notes (and some Switchfoot love) and the judges told Syesha Mercado she was beautiful but sucked (in almost as many words). Here’s what you may have missed, in five quick clips:

5. Archuleta tries to sass it up and dance to a Chris Brown song. We have never missed Danny Noriega more.
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