Phil Spector may be a kinky gun-loving maniac but he’s a brave man when sitting in his barber’s chair. Spector’s new sleek blonde bob reminds many of Clay Aiken, which is one way to go in the other-musician-emulation game, but we think it’s time for a change. You are Phil Spector’s hair stylist. You have that dome of his in your chair. What rock star do you let inspire Spector’s next look?

Last night we attended the Amy Winehouse show at the Highline Ballroom in New York’s meatpacking district. Amy wowed us but the show made us cranky due to maladjusted earpiece-wearing mobster bouncers who kept ushering us from one area in from which we couldn’t see to another … and then there were all the loud, loutish fans. We blame them all for our hangover, which is a direct byproduct of the amount of vodka we had to consume to survive this show. What, in your opinion, is the most offensive show going faux pas and what punishment should be delivered upon those who commit it?

Not to get all grim and apocalyptic on this sparkly spring day, but the world is ending tomorrow. You have exactly one evening left on earth. What do you do to fill the next (and final) hours of your life, and what song do you cue up for those last 3.5 (or whatever) minutes of existence? (We’re going with “Where Is My Mind”).

On the list of reasons why Paris Hilton should be in jail, the fact that she drove with a suspended license is not up there. You clerk for the judge who handed down Paris’ sentence. You get a hold of the paperwork and do a little editing so that the official charge reflects the pop cultural crimes you’d really like to see Paris pay for. What charge do you write in and why? Also, while you’re at it, if Paris is going to jail for inspiring a proliferation of night vision porn (or whatever you choose) what other celebrities deserve to be punished for their pop cultural crimes?

Today we are rocking out to this super cool Sire Records boxset, Just Say Sire. When “Mirror in the Bathroom” by the English Beat came on we were reminded of how fucking awesome Two Tone ska was. You are in charge of heading off the tragic downward spiral of one genre. You can, for example, make sure that the English Beat doesn’t give way to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones ten short years later. What musical genre to you save from senseless tarnishing at the hands of misguided zeitgeist-chasing bands?

You are giving the following choice: You can either solve the global warming crisis and restore the earth to its natural state of ecological balance in which Polar Bears have all the ice they need and we get to keep Florida, or you can resurrect John and George and reunite the Beatles for one day. What do you do?

Yesterday our president, George W. Bush, vetoed the Iraq war spending bill, a piece of legislation that aimed to set strict timelines for U.S. troop withdrawal. “It makes no sense to tell the enemy when you plan to start withdrawing,” the President condescended in a message to the masses on national TV. We aren’t sure what the Dems are going to do next, but we want to help them out. You have five minutes alone with the President today. You don’t speak (not enough time). Instead you play him one song powerful enough to convince him to backburner his ineptitude for half a minute and sign that bill. What song do you count on to save our country?

Today we learned that Pete Doherty has completed an acoustic solo album. We know many of you are extremely stoked to get a load of Pete unplugged, but you’ll have to wait until after the guy finishes writing and recording the new Babyshambles album, as the label is insisting it come out first. Anyway. In the meantime we were thinking it might be fun to have some other alleged voice of his/her generation go all contemplative side project on us and release his/her own solo record. You are in charge of orchestrating this. Which rocker, who is currently, definitively part of a group, would you like to see take five to record an acoustic solo album?

This whole Jesus and Mary Chain reuniting thing is going even better than expected. Not only is the band reportedly not sucking live at all, but they’ve recruited both Giant Drag’s potty-mouthed punk rock Lolita Annie Hardy and aspiring crooner Scarlett Johansson to sing “Just Like Honey” with them. (Hardy joined the band during a pre-Coachella warmup gig, while Johansson performed with the Reid brothers at Coachella). You are with the Reid brothers tonight. They’re making up their list of prospective indie credible princesses with whom they’d like to next sing. As usual they can’t agree. You step in as the rock collaboration moderator. Who goes on the list and what song do they perform with the band? (We’re voting for Feist or Becky Stark from Lavender Diamond.)

If you saw last night’s democratic presidential candidate debates, you, (like us and Brian Williams) may be a little concerned about the general wellness of former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel. The guy is pretty wound up. He made Howard Dean look like the essence of cool. What album would you play for Mr. Gravel to mellow him out and restore his faith in his colleagues, his party and the future of mankind?

Those who work with us here at Rock Daily know that we have a thing for The View. We absolutely believe that — especially in the year since Rosie O’Donnell joined the cast — it is one of the most subversive shows on television. You may not agree but then you’d be wrong. Anyway. You can’t imagine the kind of condolence cards, bouquets of flowers and sympathetic phone calls we’ve been receiving since yesterday’s announcement that Ms. O’Donnell will not be returning for another yera of genius daytime hen-partying. Yesterday we were too upset to process this reality, but today we’re feeling better and we’re ready to consider this difficult question: Who should replace Rosie in The View’s cast? We nominate Courtney Love.

Today we learned that Jack White and his band of dapper marauders the Raconteurs are actively working on their new album. Since last year’s (absurdly awesome) Broken Boy Soldiers was basically just the band’s interpretation of mid- to late-’70s classic rock, we’re wondering what musical era they’re borrowing from this time. You are DJing the band’s post-recording drinking sessions, what albums do you put on hoping to influence the direction of album number two?

According to this totally genius Gatorade commercial, it’s a hologram version of Harvey Keitel that’s magically transformed Derek Jeter from a dude who doesn’t even begin to earn his insane salary to a dude who sort of kinda comes close to almost earning something that approximates .5 percent of it. It could be that Keitel’s responsible, but we think this is the work of a rock star turned sports coach. Which rocker is whispering in Jeter’s ear? (And which one was responsible for the guy’s magnificent suckyness last year?)

If you are a good rock fan you’ve fantasized once or 700 times about what it might be like to have your favorite rock star write a song about you. You’d meet them at a show or like at the Laundromat or one of those other totally improbably normal spots people meet in romantic comedies. You would pretend that you don’t recognize them, they would ask you out for a cup of coffee and the next thing you know you will have moved this person to write one of those emotionally revealing pop hits the inspiration for which legions of crazed fans would speculate about in chat rooms. Rock cupid is on the case. All you have to do is name the rock star and it’s a done deal. Who do you choose to inspire and what is the song they write about you called?

We know it’s wrong but we kinda look forward to the Ford music video commercials during American Idol. The whole show is one giant advertisement anyway, might as well watch the contestants join together to hilariously maul a great pop song in between watching them take on that task alone. Last night’s gem was Matrix-themed cover of A Flock of Seagulls’ “I Ran.” You are the head marketing person at Ford. You enjoy drinking fossil fuel for breakfast, counting your money while watching Animal Planet and selecting the tunes for your music video ads. Which song do you sick the contestants on for next week?