Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode nine:
Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: As we mercifully draw closer to the conclusion of this dreadful, joyless season of Rock of Love, Bret Michaels brings in the girls’ ex-boyfriends and two interrogators — our beloved Heather from ROL season one, and season two “winner” Ambre. After some contentious questioning (Brittanya spits at Heather, and Ashley has to admit she still lives with her muscle-bound tattooed ex, James), the pair decide their favorite is Mindy. So where’s this American Idol twist you may be asking …
Hey-Oh!: Jamie’s pal Hamboussi shows up and reveals she was a groupie following his band around. And which band would that be? According to the Interwebs, it was the group fronted by American Idol hopeful turned Rock of Ages star Constantine Maroulis, Pray for the Soul of Betty. Hang on one second, our head just exploded.
The Most Ridiculous Part: “My ex doesn’t have enough respect for me to show up,” bemoans Beverly in the midst of a major meltdown (frankly, we wouldn’t want to hold Taya’s hands either). When she reveals she was a teenage mom, Bret surmises she’s acting out on tour as a way of reclaiming her lost youth.
The Rockin’ Send-Off: It comes down to the two girls who think they’re the best-looking of the bunch — Brittanya and Ashley. So who goes home? The violent one. Wait … and the cheating one. In a double-elimination, Ashley — who seemed like a lock to win this thing — peaces out with one final kiss-off: “Good luck having fun with the gopher and the 1986 prom queen.” We’ll miss you, Ashley.
Want more Rock of Love? Click here to check out all our Rock of Love coverage, including our exclusive interview with Bret Michaels right here in the Rolling Stone offices, where he dished the dirt on the ladies of the first season.
Previously on Rock of Love Bus:
• Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love Bus Hits the Road, Debauchery Ensues
• Bret Michaels Hosts a Trashy Mass Wedding on “Rock of Love Bus”
• A Hockey Game Turns Bret Michaels’ Ladies Crazy on “Rock of Love Bus”
• Bret Michaels Snoozes While the Girls Stir Up Drama in Chicago on “Rock of Love Bus”
• Bret Michaels Adds Three new Smoking Hot Hotties to “Rock of Love Bus”
• Bret Michaels’ Girls Hits the Mud for Dirtiest “Rock of Love Bus” Yet
• Bret Michaels Loses Girls to Intoxication, Rational Thought on “Rock of Love Bus”
• Bret Michaels Test the Ladies’ Motherly Instincts, Alcohol Tolerance on “Rock of Love Bus”

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- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2009 All Media Guide, LLC.