Photo: Mickshaw/Fox

Michael Jackson is known for his singing and his dancing, which made for an interesting evening on American Idol as season eight’s first Top 13 show celebrated the King of Pop’s career (and his dire need for cash — MJ hasn’t licensed a chunk of tunes to the show before). In a cruel twist, Simon Cowell announced early that two contestants will be eliminated this week, effectively negating the effect of a Top 13. But more importantly, Ryan Seacrest repeatedly urged viewers to “dial carefully,” likely trying to prevent a scandal when unwitting Alexis Grace fans ring up a phone-sex line (1-866-IDOLS-13 gets you a call girl, IDOLS-36 casts a vote for Grace — producers only grabbed 01-12 since there’s never before been a need for a 13th singer in the Top 12).

So who sang best? It was pretty obvious …

Ones to Watch:

• We weren’t sold on Adam Lambert before, but we’re buying tickets to his Burning Man drag cabaret right now. Lambert won the night by a landslide with a delightfully screechy version of “Black or White” that sounded like Steven Tyler had swallowed Freddie Mercury, vocally speaking.

• Allison Iraheta’s “Give In To Me” was so damn rockin’, we didn’t even miss Slash.

• Cowell may have told Alexis Grace her “Dirty Diana” was “not as good as you thought it was” to take her down a peg, but we have to admit it was as good as she thought it was: hot and bothered.

• Lil Rounds has yet to disappoint (vocally; her outfit was a little meh), and “The Way You Make Me Feel” had a “bluesy, R&B, old-soul vibe,” according to Randy.

Meh:

• Scott MacIntrye finally showed off those piano-playing skills the judges can’t stop talking about. And you know what? They were meh. Aside from one nutty leap to falsetto during his “Keep the Faith,” though, he was smooth and solid.

• Matt Giraud also played piano, and also landed a falsetto during “Human Nature,” but his performance was a bit more slick. “Talented, sexy, amazing, authentic,” said a free-associating Paula Abdul. When are he and MacIntyre going to have a piano duel?

• Danny Gokey kind of looked like a wedding singer during “PYT,” but Simon said he reminded him of Michael McDonald. Would somebody please sign Gokey up for a Yacht Rock cameo, pronto?

• Kris Allen strapped on his acoustic guitar for “Remember the Time,” giving him a Jason Mraz hippie-bop vibe. Allen may have had a good night, but his wife of five months sure didn’t. “I’m not sure I would have brought the wife out so early,” Cowell advised as girls in the audience screamed. “Keep her hidden for a couple of weeks.” Classy.

Ones to Wipe From Your Memory With Bleach:

• Somebody please explain why the judges praised Megan Joy Corkrey for “Rockin’ Robbin” — a song choice that’s a total cop-out, by the way. The best part of the performance by far was the nutty “Caw, caw!” she shrieked at the end.

Thanks for the Memories:

• We never thought we’d be saying this, but Anoop Desai’s “Beat It” was a bit toothless and karaoke. Maybe he’s still in a funk over North Carolina’s basketball team.

• Michael Sarver, we all love saying the word “roughneck,” so thank you for having a dangerous job with a name everyone enjoys discussing. We love your version of “You Are Not Alone” far less.

• Jasmine Murray sang a song that wasn’t just by MJ, but MC — Mariah Carey famously covered “I’ll Be There,” meaning Murray probably shouldn’t.

• Jorge Nunez’s “Never Can Say Goodbye” was a bit cheesy and swarthy, but not worth the lashing the judges give him. “I was not going to sing ‘Bad’ by Michael Jackson,” he said, setting himself up for a Cowell TKO: “You sort of did.”