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Bret Michaels Loses Girls to Intoxication, Rational Thought on “Rock of Love Bus”

3/2/09, 11:56 am EST

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “speed bump” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode seven:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: After another week off (this time it was the Oscars), Bret’s girls head to Alabama to compete in the Truck Stop Games. Events include a beer-belly flop, a stripper-pole showdown and some sort of hotdog hand-off (not as dirty as it sounds). When the truckers judging the contest make a slightly unfair, boob-related ruling in favor of the Green Team, Bret takes the runners-up onto his bus for some special alone time that gets so icky thanks to Ashley, new recruit Kami splits the next morning.

Hey-Oh!: Penthouse Pet of the Year Taya derides the other gals who are strippers. And yet when she competes in the Games, the always observant Farrah notes, “What the … Taya’s really comfortable with that stripper pole. Wait a minute … you didn’t learn that just now! That (bleep) is a stripper!”

The Most Ridiculous Part: After their amusement-park date, Kelsey and Farrah get so wasted on their way to Bret’s show that Big John has to toss them from the VIP area due to excessive sluttiness. Didn’t think that was possible, did you? Kelsey, distraught and drizzunk, cries while laying down on a speed bump.

The Rockin’ Send-Off: Farrah, Ashley and Kelsey are almost too intoxicated to attend the elimination ceremony (”Listen, I can’t even spell elimination. I don’t even know where I am,” quoth Ashley), but only one of them pays for it: Kelsey. “Yeah, sometimes I get drunk on lay on speed bumps … apparently Bret can’t handle a girl who gets drunk and lays on speed bumps.”

Want more Rock of Love? Click here to check out all our Rock of Love coverage, including our exclusive interview with Bret Michaels right here in the Rolling Stone offices, where he dished the dirt on the ladies of the first season.

Previously on Rock of Love Bus:

Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love Bus Hits the Road, Debauchery Ensues
Bret Michaels Hosts a Trashy Mass Wedding on “Rock of Love Bus”
A Hockey Game Turns Bret Michaels’ Ladies Crazy on “Rock of Love Bus”
Bret Michaels Snoozes While the Girls Stir Up Drama in Chicago on “Rock of Love Bus”
Bret Michaels Adds Three new Smoking Hot Hotties to “Rock of Love Bus”


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Comments

ann | 3/3/2009, 4:47 am EST

These girls make women look like plastic silcone toy dogs.this is not the way ladies, and this guy brad is so old and ugly who wants him, money is not even worth it to be with that fake hair old guy, please, be for real, maybe that’s why the sluts are always drinking, they don’t have to see how low brad is and how low they are making themselves.how sad for them!!!!

Sara | 3/4/2009, 1:30 pm EST

His name is Bret. Not Brad.

Bekah | 3/4/2009, 2:56 pm EST

BRETT.

Kris | 3/4/2009, 5:58 pm EST

Can you say MAN WHORE? He is a gorgeous guy, but who wants what every other woman has had. Ew.

Kris | 3/4/2009, 5:58 pm EST

Can you say MAN WHORE? He is a gorgeous guy, but who wants what every other woman has had. Ew.

Anonymous | 3/5/2009, 8:52 am EST

I found this show by accident. At first I thought this dude was the front man from Motley Crue. Oh well, where are the good looking girls? Is this skanks r us? Ladies, tatoos are gross and what the **** does that one girl have in her face? Oh yea, if you think smoking is sexy then go lick a dirty ashtray and see how sexy it is. I guess these old, ugly girls is all this guy can get now that he’s pushing 60. Dude, I feel sorry for you.

Tera | 3/6/2009, 12:19 pm EST

Wow, how literal can anyone really take this show. It’s just a show – a character he has made himself in to for the role we have given him as a public… lmao He’s just enjoying the ride. Look in his eyes – There are moments when he is all bright and all glazed over,(kid in a candy store) but there are also moments when you can see that he is torn with the need we all have to be loved unconditionally. If you can get past all the T&A – The person behind the bull, shows in his music. The one thing you can’t fake in performance is soul. They should show a little more of that, but reality t.v. has no ratings for REAL.

Star Girl | 3/6/2009, 3:27 pm EST

Come on. Lame. It’s total fake bullhonkery so that Mr. I-wear-way-too-much-eye-shadow can get some publicity for his lame tour.

I’d really like to see some TMZ shots of Ol’ Bretty-poo in the morning WITHOUT the headband, WITHOUT a hat, WITHOUT the makeup – WITH his bald/bad extensioned head showing and his shirt off.

Can we say hideous? Bwaaaahahahaha. Hee-freaking-larious!!

melanie | 3/7/2009, 1:21 pm EST

I also happened upon this show….UNFORTUNATELY. This show is so degrading to women in general and especially to these girls who participate. I’m no prude but it takes a real skank to knowingly screw a guy who’s actively screwing other girls that you’re hanging out with. Who does he think he is? This is Bret Michaels way of ensuring that he gets laid on a regular basis ’cause it obviously isn’t happening otherwise. Girls…have a little more pride in yourselves. Any guy who does this isn’t worth it!

sue | 3/8/2009, 3:03 am EST

i think its all mainly for publicity…..i mean his singing career isnt exactly booming with new songs….he isnt hitting the top charts….it goes back to the old saying money talks bullshit walks…..so hes got the rock of love show…..so if he wants to screw one of the ladys….then he does ….he will never tell..sex drugs and rock n roll……but only now its prob only everything minus the rock n roll

Kameron | 3/8/2009, 12:35 pm EST

People, people you are all missing the point of this show. This is not a serious show! Yes Bret may want to find love…but he really wants Nothin’ but a good time! Remember we see only what the editors want us to see and how they want us to see it. We have no idea what really goes on. All I know I look forward to Sundays to watch, so maybe just for I second a I can think about a time when rock had big hair, guyliner, and a lot of sex…even if I was just a little too young to participate. You go Bret…GOOD FOR YOU!

Robin | 3/8/2009, 3:26 pm EST

Brett Michaels.. wow… pathetic… that hair is soooo a wig… and he soooo is not talented… these are just disgusting women on this show or they sure make them look awful. He’s just gross.. no talent, and no heart.. he’s all about getting it waxed…well it looks so plastic already…its just a coating.. brett… give it up.. try a blues album, thats usually a last horrah.. hahahahahaha

Smitty | 3/8/2009, 4:57 pm EST

These women are sleaze bags.
They have no brains and certainly
no class.
Brett has a great job.
He gets paid to get laid.
How cool is that.
Rock on Bret.

nicole | 3/9/2009, 11:55 am EST

i dont know but…parading the whores around is no way to find your “potential” life partner….come on how do you think his daughters would look up to some half naked bimbo barbie doll?? really nice bret….bet you dont even consider your girls might be watching the show?! hey ya never know…wow look at my daddy messing around with all those girls!! Nice…

Wendy | 3/23/2009, 4:51 pm EST

yaa..his name is Bret not Brad…guess your just a little jealous that your not there…you know if you had the chance to get with Bret you would..so save your bullshit for someone that might believe you…

sue marshall | 11/7/2009, 9:34 am EST

Oh man!!!! this is the most gripping,yet ridiculous,rubbish to hit our screens yet!!!yeah i’m pretty sure I’d f**k him but PLEEEESE!!! Isn’t this just a show about Bret gettin his d**k wet???
OR ELSE…POOR BRET!!! can’t get a REAL girlfriend who VALUES him and LOVES him…POOR BRET…

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