Photo: Becker/FOX

Salt Lake City, Utah, is known for Big Love, the Osmonds and David Archuleta and we got a little taste of all three on last night’s American Idol. Ryan Seacrest proclaimed the city to be filled with “some of the happiest people we’ve ever seen,” but perhaps that was code for “whitest,” as a homogeneous batch of hopefuls provided the opportunity for producers to skip the loony reel in favor of a polite parade of appreciative singers (”I suck? No, thank you!”). And the big story of the night — the debut of Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” video — barely registered, as only a blip of the clip aired on TV.

The judges handed out a mere 13 yellow passes to Hollywood Week. Here’s a quick rundown:

Ones to Watch:

• Tattooed, divorced, young single mom Megan Corkrey swiftly becomes Simon Cowell’s favorite for good reason: cool girl, awesome pipes.

• Score two for mom Frankie Jordan: her version of “You Know I’m No Good” was so fab it made us long for the real Amy Winehouse, and she provided Seacrest with the opportunity to make a Frankie Goes to Hollywood reference.

Meh:

• Not to be a total killjoy, but tear-jerker Rose Flack seems like an awesome girl but a super-meh vocalist. Flack, whose parents both died before she was 16, is such a groovy earth mama, she covered Carole King and auditioned barefoot. No wonder the judges said there was “something special” about her.

• Giant, Jordin Sparks-esque Taylor Vaifanua came to Utah from Samoa to get noticed. Kara DioGuardi noticed her practicing in the bathroom. Somehow that probably wasn’t what she had in mind.

• David Osmond is suffering from MS, but his remission permitted him to grow a soul patch and sing a Take Six song well enough to get to Hollywood.

• Senior class president Austin Sisneros auditioned “to inspire people and to tell them it’s okay to follow their dreams.” Since his dreams include singing a Train song on national TV (and a Raffi tune!?), his goals are dubious, to put it lightly.

• Jarrett Burns is like the billionth person to audition with “Put Your Records On.” Is Corinne Bailey Rae paying these people?

Ones to Wipe From Your Memory With Bleach:

• Tara Matthews has ESP and the honor of being “Salt Lake City’s only goth,” according to Ryan. Her sad take on a Moulin Rouge tune was scarier than her fishnets.

Thanks for the Memories:

• Chris Kirkham comes with a guy in a rabbit suit called Greg the Rabbit, or, if you prefer, Grabbit. His voice wasn’t bad, but the judges ushered him out fast; perhaps because he had a guy in a rabbit suit with him.

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