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Artie Lange: The Story Behind the Story

1/21/09, 6:06 pm EST

Photograph by Peter Yang

Artie Lange called Rolling Stone writer Vanessa Grigoriadis an “uppity bitch” on this morning’s Howard Stern Show, but Grigoriadis tells Rock Daily the comic is “really generous and sweet.” Grigoriadis, who profiled Lange in the current issue, adds, “Although I think he may have been trying to kiss my ass. Also, he’s very fat.” He’s also very troubled: When Rolling Stone’s photographer arrived at Lange’s Hoboken, New Jersey apartment to photograph the funnyman for the story “America’s Biggest Loser,” Lange was admittedly in the midst of a five-day heroin bender.

“His apartment is hilarious,” she says. “It was entirely decorated by his mom. There is nothing in that apartment that makes any sense to Artie Lange. He put out all these vinyl records so I can see them.” Bruce Springsteen’s Darkness on the Edge of Town and Neil Young records were left out in plain sight; Lange also made it clear he was a big fan of Hunter S. Thompson, so the Rolling Stone interview was especially important to him. So important, in fact, he reportedly left a Florida rehabilitation center early so not to delay the profile any longer. “I’m sure he was really happy that his name is on the cover with a picture of Bruce Springsteen,” Grigoriadis says.

Even though Grigoriadis and Stern agreed the profile is an accurate portrait of the comic, Lange vented that the piece was “horrifying and awful” and complained that Grigoriadis was condescending. “I usually don’t tell people, ‘Wow, I’m such a fan,’ I just don’t do that,” Grigoriadis says. “I hung out with him three times, and by the third time it was almost uncomfortable, because it was so clear that he wanted me to be like, ‘Oh my God, Artie, you’re the best.’ So I was like, ‘You know what, dude, I’m just going to sit here and ignore your attempts to bolster your confidence.’ ”

Lange also accused her of instinctively not liking guys like him. “I don’t think I’m better than him. I don’t think I was being condescending. I think he’s really funny, and I liked his book, I thought it was really good,” Grigoriadis says. “I don’t think the article was condescending either. Look, I’m sure he’s not happy about the picture [above]. I wouldn’t be happy about the picture either. But honestly, I don’t think the article is bad. Just look at his book.”

Lange’s insecurity also came out when Grigoriadis told him that most of his stand-up routine was probably too offensive to publish in the interview. “He got really offended, and said, ‘Do you think my stand-up is offensive?’ I said, ‘I thought that what was you were going for.’ Apparently he does not take criticism well. He was like, ‘Saying my stand-up is offensive is like insulting my livelihood. I don’t want people to think they shouldn’t come to my stand-up,’” she adds. “That was the only thing I said to him that was even borderline confrontational.

“This is the whole problem with Artie: He’s a crazy attention-seeker,” Grigoriadis observes. “He wants the attention. It’s like a huge daddy complex with Howard Stern. He wants to be bad and good and have Stern make fun of him and also care about him.” The wear of doing stand-up and then waking up to do the Stern show is also affecting Lange. “That’s a hard thing on your body, even if you’re not doing what he’s doing.”

“Look I got into comedy so I could stay out all night,” Lange told Grigoriadis, “And I get the one fucking great job in comedy that’s like having a paper route.”

Despite his funny demeanor and rock star habits, Lange’s patterns surprised Grigoriadis. “You’d expect that someone like him, when they’re out on the road, after the show is like ‘Right on’ and runs around and gets totally wasted and picks up some hooker,” Grigoriadis says. “But what really goes on is that he goes back to his hotel room, gets high and hangs out by himself and stays up all night. And that’s very scary. That’s a stage of drug use that’s linked to depression.”

Related Stories:

King of All Media Howard Stern Attempts to Conquer Our Rock & Roll Quiz


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Comments

James New Haven | 1/21/2009, 6:25 pm EST

That was a bashing of Artie Lange. In hindsight, maybe thats why he was back on the junk and sleeping at work today.

Formerly Concerned about Artie | 1/21/2009, 6:39 pm EST

Bashing, perhaps, but also seemingly accurate. I am done with Artie. He thrives on being a mess. It has gone from increasingly difficult to find him charming to now, impossible.

Ba Ba Booey | 1/21/2009, 6:39 pm EST

Artie is the best! I can’t wait until he dies. Stern rules!

Daniel | 1/21/2009, 6:42 pm EST

How about what she said about italian families? That was a cheap shot to all Italians and especially his dad!

Anonymous | 1/21/2009, 6:44 pm EST

I’m excitedly hoping to see him dead before the end of his Sirius contract. Hopefully even this year…
I’m waay tired of his fake stories and whereas he’s very funny indeed, he’s by no means unique and his stories get more unbelievable and irrelevant every week; his greatest bit will be his death, and his cue is already calling…

Artie's not Italian!! | 1/21/2009, 7:00 pm EST

Artie never misses a chance to reference some Italian relative or friend of his an constantly mangles the pronunciation of Italian words. His mother has some Italian heritage but his father wasn’t Italian (last name Lange — not Italian) and Artie himself had a genetic test done on the Stern show that he was even part American Indian!

The guy is sadly in search of an identity still at age 40. He thinks it’s cool to mention he has a “bookie” and that he “worked on the docks.” He desperately wants to be cool and think that being Italian would make him cool. Gary and Sal from the show are genuine Italian Americans — much more than Artie — but you never hear them trying to prove it constantly to everyone.

The guy is messed up in so many ways. He really needs a lot of help.

Loosh | 1/21/2009, 7:02 pm EST

Artie wins! Artie ALWAYS wins! :jj:

columbus | 1/21/2009, 7:06 pm EST

funny how RS posts this “story behind the story” as a retort to today’s HS show- but they fail to address the show’s biggest criticism of the RS piece- that it had a blatantly offensive and patronizing comment about Italian Americans. Something the author SHOULD apologize for

Dawn | 1/21/2009, 7:06 pm EST

It is a true shame Artie has broken his mother and sister’s hearts time and time again. I used to love Artie but I really have a hard time putting up with all the shit- if you can’t stay awake during the show, don’t come in. It pisses me off knowing there will be no consequences…just like always.

Anonymous | 1/21/2009, 7:06 pm EST

Artie is a hack. No talent.
He’s ruined the stern show.
Bring Jackie back for the last 2 years of Stern.

Joey Boots is a fucking moron.
Please, eat yourself to death.
And I hope you get banned on SFN again.

Artie's Dad | 1/21/2009, 7:06 pm EST

I cant feel my legs…..

Anonymous | 1/21/2009, 7:08 pm EST

Artie is already dead.

mamma Lange | 1/21/2009, 7:10 pm EST

Lazy/Liar/Junkie….hehehehehehe

scrummy | 1/21/2009, 7:10 pm EST

artie is the best

Beth O'Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:11 pm EST

Artie is clearly distracting from all the time Howard could be spending talking about ME and how I bend one knee in every photo.

singer | 1/21/2009, 7:12 pm EST

I absolutely think Artie is hilarious but he seems to be getting worse over the past few months. I can picture him 100 lbs. thinner kicking butt with his comedy and continuing to be the
Howard Stern show. Come on Artie, kick it, man. I love ya!

Artie Fan | 1/21/2009, 7:14 pm EST

Artie is very funny and the best part of the Howard Stern show since Howard became “Hampton’s Howie” and is a high class snob too good for his own show.

Horse face Beth | 1/21/2009, 7:15 pm EST

I always thought Artie liked me because he was always talking about horse but now I found out he was talking to his dealer.

angelo | 1/21/2009, 7:15 pm EST

artie just needs to quit the show, but i dont think hes going to do that. his stand up is below average and has been doing the same act for like 5 years. and he knows the only reason why he can sell two thousand seats is cause of the stern show. so stern needs to get some balls and fire his ass.

mamma Lange | 1/21/2009, 7:16 pm EST

don’ta a maka funa of my baby meatball!

terry332 | 1/21/2009, 7:16 pm EST

Artie is a sensitive…….and this world is very hard for them to participate in & survive without death. HE need to get his act together or he is going to O.D…. just as all our other great sensitivies have done.
My prayers go out to his mother & sister, they’re the ones that really suffer. Artie, Artie, Artie

Dad | 1/21/2009, 7:17 pm EST

Artie be sure to hold the ladder.

virgil | 1/21/2009, 7:19 pm EST

It’s funny you say that cause I’ve seen Artie once in 2006 and once in 2008 and it was the same stand up routine. LOL!

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:21 pm EST

He’s a whiny little baby who keeps falling asleep on my show. Sadly, I cannot confront him because I don’t want to get hit. Plus, I don’t think Artie bathes and my fear of toilets would make me break out in the hives. Help me, get this loser off my show.

Dan's daughter | 1/21/2009, 7:21 pm EST

Dan the song parody man rule!

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:23 pm EST

Meh, what can I do about him? He’s funny on the show, when he shows up and isn’t falling asleep. The heroin thing is his own deal, I’m not his daddy.

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:24 pm EST

At least Artie doesn’t wear a wig like I do. Do you think those fools that pay to hear my show will stay with me if I only do two shows a week when my contract is over? Of course they will, they are sheep and I am their God.

Sirius Customer (but for how) | 1/21/2009, 7:24 pm EST

Maybe Artie can use some of the money Sirius is getting by raising their rates to pay for rehab. Artie is close to death. Then the story can end. Finally.

John | 1/21/2009, 7:24 pm EST

Sour Shoes should replace his untalented ass.

oooooOOOOOOOOOOH

Sirius Customer (for now) | 1/21/2009, 7:24 pm EST

Maybe Artie can use some of the money Sirius is getting by raising their rates to pay for rehab. Artie is close to death. Then the story can end. Finally.

loosh | 1/21/2009, 7:25 pm EST

I’m in love with a greasy fat man named Artie Lange.
Artie please call me and we can get together…..again

Robin Quivers | 1/21/2009, 7:25 pm EST

Artie died yesterday.

dana | 1/21/2009, 7:25 pm EST

artie is helpless, trust me!

hperic | 1/21/2009, 7:25 pm EST

Artie is a hero to everyone that scams money for no work.

mel | 1/21/2009, 7:25 pm EST

Will this make SIRI stock go above 12 cents? Maybe howard should work on fridays. please, bring back the funny. this is a sad end to the howard stern show.

Beth O | 1/21/2009, 7:26 pm EST

I love Artie, he’s the one that plays the sound clips and is from Mars, right?

zidane | 1/21/2009, 7:26 pm EST

artie killed the stern show.
he’s a baby. an attention seeking baby. and i’m ABSOLUTLEY TIRED of him.

Lo | 1/21/2009, 7:27 pm EST

I’m sure tomorrow will once again be the “Artie Lange Show”. I’m sick of this guy!! He needs to clear his throat already.

Artie's Delaware Buddy | 1/21/2009, 7:27 pm EST

Hey Gar, it’s Art. I’m sick as a dog (cough, wheeze). I’m gonna see my deal, er I mean my doctor at 6am to get some sma, I mean anti-biotics. I’m sorry man. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Later

Gary Dell'Abate | 1/21/2009, 7:28 pm EST

This woman is right on the money. I hate Artie too.

Tracy | 1/21/2009, 7:28 pm EST

Artie rocks. He is hilarious and genuine. I’ve been a fan for years. It is sad that he is so sick on the junk and hopefully he can kick it soon. Those of you taking shots are sick F—s.

Thoughts on the Baby Gorilla | 1/21/2009, 7:28 pm EST

Hey Artie. Just do everyone a favor and die already. Enough!

Robins Cork | 1/21/2009, 7:28 pm EST

Wow she really nailed it..He really is a giant baby

zidane | 1/21/2009, 7:29 pm EST

half of his stories are LIES also.

he wants to be seen as a rockstar when in factg is a big HACK and a BORE.

elephantdrunk | 1/21/2009, 7:29 pm EST

Artie is an easy mark for every deadbeat on the Howard Stern show. Thank the lord for suckers with no self-esteem.

Mutt | 1/21/2009, 7:30 pm EST

God me and the sfn’ers agree with this lady

Feltspot | 1/21/2009, 7:30 pm EST

I love Artie. My kid loves Artie and plays basketball too. My wife has stretch marks (like Artie) that look like grill marks. If I stop steroids I will look like Artie in 6 weeks. My daughter is the kind of girl that Artie likes, good for only one night, best $50 he will ever spend.

Daner | 1/21/2009, 7:32 pm EST

This is why I left him for the fireman

iHateArtie.blogspot.com | 1/21/2009, 7:33 pm EST

She was dead-on about the Howard/Daddy issues.

She should have mentioned Artie’s grotesque horrible smoker’s wheeze lung laugh before and after he speaks.

Die, Artie, DIE.

mama's meatballs | 1/21/2009, 7:34 pm EST

Artie always admits his grim reality on a daily basis, but she is 100 percent right on in this RS article. It seems that this article hit him hard from his harsh reactions on the Stern show this morning. He had to have had a relapse after his 14 days of sobriety. This poor guy won’t be around much longer and i wonder if Artie Lang himself made it onto the famous Stern show death list for 2009. Great article for Stern fans!

BookerGR | 1/21/2009, 7:35 pm EST

I LOVE Artie. He is the funniest comedian that ever lived. I wish I was a girl so I could have his baby. The girl who wrote this article is an Uppity B****.

loosh | 1/21/2009, 7:37 pm EST

Artie you can use my colon again the next time you go to Miami.

Love always
oxoxoxox
Mule….Loosh

Rodgers | 1/21/2009, 7:37 pm EST

Artie Lange is one of the funniest people in the country. I mean for hours on end almost every week Artie is makin people laugh all over the country, except for when he misses because of his drug abuse. It is easy to criticize his standup and say it is vulgar just to be vulgar and make fun of his weight and glaring problems, but there is definately much more to Mr. Lange.

Mr. Lange makes my day a little better, making me laugh befoe I go into work or taking my mind off things when something bad happens. This writer might be smart, but look what she is doing writing about Mr. Lange. Get off your high horse and this piece left out the criticism about the Italian family thing, which Ive never heard except for the Sopranos.

Who Cares | 1/21/2009, 7:37 pm EST

I read the article and didn’t think it was particularly negative, but it certainly wasn’t the puff piece Artie was hoping for. It’s clear from this article and the stern show this morning that Artie and the interviewer were not a good match.

The interviewer comparing Artie to Andrew Dice Clay and David Sedaris shows that she doesn’t get the work of all three.

Also Artie clearly doesn’t see that the interviewer had the correct response to his lifestyle, which is repulsion.

Drunk Tracy | 1/21/2009, 7:37 pm EST

I love Artie
Grillo you’re a DOUCHE.

Steve Langford | 1/21/2009, 7:40 pm EST

Joan Rivers’ horrible comedy made Artie Lange OD.

Beth O'Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:41 pm EST

Maybe Fatass could come out and live in the Hamptons with me and Howie? We talk about my daily hay intake and change my shoes and bridle while Howie stokes one of our 45 chimneys….

Mel | 1/21/2009, 7:41 pm EST

classic artie deflection…wah you made a crack about Italians.
Artie is a racist gay basher.
as usually fatso can dish it out but can’t take it.

Beth Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:42 pm EST

Maybe Fatty could come out and live in the Hamptons with me and Howie? We talk about my daily hay intake and change my shoes and bridle while Howie stokes one of our 45 chimneys….

Loosh | 1/21/2009, 7:42 pm EST

Top 10 Reasons Why Haters Hate Artie Lange (post #1)

10. He is rich, and they are poor.

9. He is famous, radio, books, movies, shows, magazines, and they are unknown.

8. He fucks models, and they fuck their palms.

7. He has a brand new shore house, and they live in an old trailer.

6. He makes jokes about gays and blacks, and they are gay and/or black with no sense of humor.

5. He had two loving parents, and they had only one…or none.

4. His boss is afraid of him, and they are afraid of theirs.

3. He is Italian, and they aren’t.

2. He is East Coast, and they’ve never even been here.

1. He is happy big grin and they are suicidal.

Wood-ye | 1/21/2009, 7:43 pm EST

If she said something negative about Italians, I’m down with that.

Ass Napkin Ed | 1/21/2009, 7:44 pm EST

I love Artie. He is going to let me live outside of his Shore house in a trailer in his driveway. Time to empty my dookie bucket. :>(

jon hein | 1/21/2009, 7:44 pm EST

just a reminder:

Artie wrote the book while on drugs.
Artie was on drugs for the RS story.
Artie is a confirmed liar.

John Hein | 1/21/2009, 7:45 pm EST

I don’t have an opinion on any of this.

Onlinepredator | 1/21/2009, 7:45 pm EST

Bruce sucks ,new york sucks Rolling stone sucks.

Horse Face Beth | 1/21/2009, 7:45 pm EST

I simply love this article, less Artie means I will come in more often and talk about what people really care about. Saving little puppies (NSAL), giftscriptions and my training for another marathon.

Josh | 1/21/2009, 7:46 pm EST

I like Artie. He tries too hard to be Mr. Lovable, though. I think if he aimed a bit more in the direction of Don Rickles he might really find his stride. I think deep down inside of Artie there is a loudmouthed little asshole just dying to get out, and Nice Artie keeps getting in the way. Plus, I think he may be on drugs.

loosh | 1/21/2009, 7:46 pm EST

I’m glad artie doesn’t like girls.
i don’t like them either.
i love you artie lange

xoxoxoxox
loosh

Renee Zel-WAGGER | 1/21/2009, 7:47 pm EST

My face is as puckered as Artie’s a-hole.

Jackie | 1/21/2009, 7:47 pm EST

Why did I leave the show? Now I make $300 a week.

Teddy | 1/21/2009, 7:47 pm EST

Artie, if you read this, can I borrow $2000?

Eric the Midget | 1/21/2009, 7:48 pm EST

Artie offered me money to watch me hump my bed.

artie | 1/21/2009, 7:49 pm EST

gar this is artie…I’m sick as a dog…I’ll be in at 9am to plug my weekend gigs

Ben Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:49 pm EST

All together now!

♫ When you walk through a storm hold your head up high,
And don’t be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho’ your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone,
You’ll never walk alone! ♫

Fred | 1/21/2009, 7:49 pm EST

If the guy dies I won’t have to make that annoying fake laugh at his lame jokes any more

Lucas Dell' Abbate | 1/21/2009, 7:51 pm EST

I personally love chubby drug addicted bears…Hubba Hubba

Artie S. Colon | 1/21/2009, 7:51 pm EST

Can someone send me a bale of wheatgrass? I’m dying here.

Has anyone ever tried to crap while on opiates? It’s like trying to pass a brick.

Dan | 1/21/2009, 7:51 pm EST

I love the guy. He let me borrow $7,500. He aint getting it back, he’ll only use it to buy Heroin.

Steve Langford is a huge pain in the ass, pain in the ass, pain in the ass.

High Pitch Mike | 1/21/2009, 7:52 pm EST

I cant wait until that fat lump is buried so that I can drain my bladder on his and his dads tombstones at the same time….

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:53 pm EST

Look on the bright side, at least when Artie dies we will have a good excuse to take some more days off.

Andrea Ownbey | 1/21/2009, 7:53 pm EST

Jesus Christ, Artie. Grow up.

artie | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

ummmmm……dummmmmmmm…..my buddy deej and I are lovers.

Chris Farley | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

Artie, I’m saving you a seat up…errrr…down here.

Arties gut | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

Artie is a funny go, no doubt about it. What brings the show down is how sensitive Howard never lets anything acutally real enter into the show anymore, everything seems like a bit. Also enough with the snob fest, between the “I am out to save the dogs”, gay crap with Howard and his way too mentioned wife, and Robin always putting down anybody that makes less money than her, it has went from a real mans show to a snob fest.

Teddy | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

I said “Bloomies” you drugged out #$%$.

Please hit me again. I need the money.

Eric the Midget | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

Stop referencing the line in the RS article about Italian-Americans. Arties says the most racist stuff every day on the show, and he is offended by that line? oh please. The “racist” line in the RS article is much tamer than anything Artie says.

Dan The Song Parody Man | 1/21/2009, 7:54 pm EST

If you die do I still have to pay the money back

Ivan Drago | 1/21/2009, 7:56 pm EST

If he dies… he dies.

Bob Roberts | 1/21/2009, 7:57 pm EST

Bring back the Jokeman! Even Jokeman Jr. is funnier than Lange!

Dr. Spasky | 1/21/2009, 7:57 pm EST

This article is completely untrue. I provided therapy and a doctor’s note for Artie in the Lincoln Tunnel just two days ago at 3 in the morning.

Love,
Dr. Spasky, MD

PS I’m really a real doctor, and I have prescribed real medication.

Horseface Beth | 1/21/2009, 7:57 pm EST

Artie was the first step in the gradual downfall of the once-great Howard Stern Show.

The show is now a mess of perpetual “heroin” references, Hamptons anecdotes, and a lazy format. The “commercial-free” battle cry has melted into a bloat of of awful (and frequent) spots – including affair-luring Ashley Madison get-rich-quick scams, and even Howard’s relatives pushing their bee wares.

The original is long gone, and hopefully will wither away, along with Artie Lange in a bubbling mess of fat and memories.

Ted Kennedy | 1/21/2009, 7:57 pm EST

Errr uhhhh, some should drive that fat loser over a bridge ….errr uuhhh.

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 7:57 pm EST

Thats it, Im going to fire Artie

Beyonce Ownbey | 1/21/2009, 7:58 pm EST

Even my mother thinks Artie is a crack head.

Dr. Drew | 1/21/2009, 7:58 pm EST

Are you sure you dad didn’t diddle you or maybe Robin’s dad came over for a visit

Melvin Alan Karmazin | 1/21/2009, 7:58 pm EST

Allow me to make one thing clear:
Sirius/XM Radio Inc. does not condone the use of drugs or the employment of grossly obese comedians.
P.S. -I’m jacking the rates up on these Stern simps.

Grandma Caprio | 1/21/2009, 7:59 pm EST

He’s a stupid no good stugatz.

Don R., Boca Raton | 1/21/2009, 8:00 pm EST

You baby gorilla. Why don’t you work a zoo and stop bothering people?

Baskin Robbins called. They said that they’re down to only five flavors.

Look at you. You’re swelling up as I talk to you. Hello, ice cream! Having a good time in there, running around?

Joey Boots | 1/21/2009, 8:00 pm EST

the comments regarding this article previously attributed to me are not from me…….Artie is a friend and I wish him the best.

Deej | 1/21/2009, 8:02 pm EST

I love Artie. He pays me $500 a week to not tell anyone that it was me and him alone when he took the jizz shot to the chest.

Artie | 1/21/2009, 8:03 pm EST

Does anyone want to hear my pig costume coke story for the 37th time?

Marianne From Brooklyn | 1/21/2009, 8:03 pm EST

Artie! I told you this would happen! You need to…*click*

anfkid | 1/21/2009, 8:03 pm EST

Even I have given up on supporting that fat unfunny slob. I now will leave all the lard-kissing to my apprentice – Loosh.

Gary | 1/21/2009, 8:03 pm EST

Hold on a sec’ okay… Artie is a good guy, right? I’m not going to sit here and let you guys throw Artie under the bus like this. Listen, it is what it is. Artie’s gonna do what Artie’s gonna do. Hey, what do you do for a living? Yeah, everyone’s an expert all of a sudden. Did I mention we turned down Michelle Obama so we could have Marc Cronin on the show?

Jeff the Drunk | 1/21/2009, 8:03 pm EST

artie you lil’ BITCH!

Sal | 1/21/2009, 8:04 pm EST

Artie, won’t you die already! That chair next to Howard is mine and I want it now!

Eric The Midget | 1/21/2009, 8:04 pm EST

Shut up, fatass!!!!!

Bob Saget | 1/21/2009, 8:04 pm EST

Artie is a heroin addict piece of trash.

Sour Shoes | 1/21/2009, 8:05 pm EST

I am kind of busy right now. Can I call you right back?

Mutt | 1/21/2009, 8:05 pm EST

I called Artie the other day but I got this message “sorry your call did not go through” Cavecreek is my phone company too.

Bonjy | 1/21/2009, 8:06 pm EST

I hope Artie’s okay.

Joan Rivers | 1/21/2009, 8:07 pm EST

how sad

Mutt | 1/21/2009, 8:07 pm EST

I warned you ingrates.
Everybody here’s in TO

Dr. Drew | 1/21/2009, 8:07 pm EST

WHATEVER

Bettle | 1/21/2009, 8:07 pm EST

I don’t know nothing about that, but I’ll kick your ass!

Marie Osmond | 1/21/2009, 8:08 pm EST

Start losing weight with NutriSystem. I went from THIS to this, and you can too!

(well, not you Artie).

DocSante | 1/21/2009, 8:08 pm EST

The show is the best it has ever been. The show has passed all of you up, so get a life.

Mud Langford | 1/21/2009, 8:09 pm EST

I shit my pants at work, and Artie shit the bed. We have that in common, I guess.

Richard's Dad | 1/21/2009, 8:09 pm EST

I love Artie Stern. We don’t get radio or satellite signals here in Kansas.

Richard this is your dad. Your chicken Ethel has eaten your dog.

Sal | 1/21/2009, 8:09 pm EST

White women generally don’t have sex with Artie Lange unless money or drugs are involved

Tony | 1/21/2009, 8:10 pm EST

Artie is a douche.

just a simple hack that got fired from mad tv, no skills, not funny yet trying to ride Howard Stern’s coat tails which in itself is pathetic since that show jumped the shark when it all became scripted.

High Pitch Eric | 1/21/2009, 8:10 pm EST

I threatened to stab Dale In Sales baby because Artie Lange threatened me with a fish.

Sal | 1/21/2009, 8:10 pm EST

I demand a traction of this story.

Miss Mary Jane | 1/21/2009, 8:10 pm EST

This interview was boring. RS should talk to Chris Tucker instead.

Longtime Listener | 1/21/2009, 8:11 pm EST

Anything else, Rolling Stone?

Benjy Bronk | 1/21/2009, 8:11 pm EST

Artie yells at me when I eat salad. I’m going to go for a night bike ride after I pick up some hookers on craigslist.

Ass Napkin Ed | 1/21/2009, 8:11 pm EST

Art,

If you ever need a mentor, or just an advisor, return one of my calls.

NJ DMV | 1/21/2009, 8:11 pm EST

Dr. Mr. Lange,

You owe us $7,895.44 in unpaid tolls from crossing the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Have your mommy send us a check.

P.S. Put your seatbelt on and get rid of the Whopper boxes blocking your rear windshield.

Wendy | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

I feel like blowin’ my mind up!

The Entire Audience | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

It’s so obvious Howard dyes his hair.

Eric the Actor | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

Shut up fatass

David Sedaris | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

Who is this Artie Lange?

Gary Dell'Abate | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

We should do some pre-promotion on this.

DEA & FBI | 1/21/2009, 8:12 pm EST

Dear Mr. Lange,

We like you to come in for questioning as to why you travel across the Delaware Memorial Bridge in under an hour every morning around 4 am.

Tony | 1/21/2009, 8:13 pm EST

Artie is a douche.

just a simple hack that got fired from mad tv, no skills, not funny yet trying to ride Howard Stern’s coat tails which in itself is pathetic since that show jumped the shark when it all became scripted..

Double A | 1/21/2009, 8:13 pm EST

Hey now how’s it goin’ whats goin’ on Rolling Stone. Much luv to Artie cuz every day is friggin’ Friday when you are me! Hey Beth! Peace and much luv!

Robin Quivers | 1/21/2009, 8:13 pm EST

No Howard there is not anything else.

Frankie Valli | 1/21/2009, 8:14 pm EST

Artie Lange was a tender filet of toddler meat.

Cathy Evelyn Smith | 1/21/2009, 8:14 pm EST

Artie:

I just called the Chateau Marmont. Our bungalow is booked for Friday night.

See you then!

Artie Lange | 1/21/2009, 8:14 pm EST

and uh…CLEARLY…uhhhh….this article is biased. CLEARLY.

JDakaDaBadAss | 1/21/2009, 8:14 pm EST

Umm, whatever, uh… ya know?

Robins Bald head | 1/21/2009, 8:15 pm EST

You know, I always knew Rolling Stone would write an article like this

Mitch Hedberg | 1/21/2009, 8:16 pm EST

Artie,

Lookin’ forward to catching up.

Artie's Bookie | 1/21/2009, 8:16 pm EST

Don’t piss of Rolling Stone, Artie. I need big money on the Super Bowl this year.

Gary Dell'Abate | 1/21/2009, 8:16 pm EST

What do you do for a living

Artie's Mom | 1/21/2009, 8:17 pm EST

Not to worry my little bambino. Mama will be right over with some chicken parm, broccoli rob and Hawaiian punch.

David Sedaris | 1/21/2009, 8:17 pm EST

Who is Artie Lange?

Artie's Liver | 1/21/2009, 8:17 pm EST

Ouch.

Vince the 'ShamWOW' guy | 1/21/2009, 8:17 pm EST

I don’t care about Artie Lange but if you call within the next 20 minutes because we can’t do this all day…..

Hamptons Howie | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Anything else, Vanessa?

Daner | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

That fat slob Artie could not take a hint when I got an enormous dog. Thank God I got him hooked on Heroin so I could dump his ass.

But Seriously | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Where’s the article? I shouldn’t have to leave the house and find a place that still sells physical magazines to read it.

JD | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

What? I mean, I guess, whatever, leave me alone. I mean, you know, I know, ehhhhhhhhhhhherrrrrrrrrrrrerrr rrrrr?

Artie's Dad | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Like most stupid things my son does, he tries to blame them on others. He tries to blame my death for his drug abuse. Well I say bullsh to you, my embarrasing fat son.

And one more thing – you are NOT Italian, you’re a mutt of German/English mix, and you should be ashamed of yourself for lying about every single thing in your miserable existence.

Love, Dad

Buddysgirl | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

thanks for the update, Mutt. You’re the best. Love you too, Ivan. xoxoxoxo

Deena's pancakes | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

But Artie said I’m cute!!! 2 times he said I was cute!!!! Screw Shuli and Florentine, I must be off to make a shrine site to him! But don’t ask me if I made it, cuz I’ll just deny it… DUH!

MosmanMan | 1/21/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Hush, my baby. baby, dont you cry.
Mommas gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Mommas gonna put all of her fears into you.
Mommas gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mommas gonna keep baby cozy and warm.
Oooo babe.
Oooo babe.
Ooo babe, of course mommas gonna help build a wall.

PinkFloyd

Benjamin Bronk | 1/21/2009, 8:19 pm EST

I was going to hang with Artie during the Rolling Stone interview, but I was 30 minutes late because I was fucking somebody famous while somebody famous watched. By the time I got there, Artie and the RS writer had left. So I went out to dinner, ordered fish which I didn’t eat and ordered wine I did not drink. So I sprinted home and had a huge salad followed by a bag of frozen blueberries and i sweated profusely.

Artie's Mom | 1/21/2009, 8:19 pm EST

Artie, this is your mom. You better throw away those hot dogs in the fridge.

John the Stutterer | 1/21/2009, 8:19 pm EST

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

Hate Man | 1/21/2009, 8:19 pm EST

Just look at these comments. You’re all so uncouth.

Eric the Midget | 1/21/2009, 8:20 pm EST

Artie pics on my store (just in time for Midgetine’s Day!) are now $50. You big-nosed bastards.

Steve Langford | 1/21/2009, 8:20 pm EST

posting slanderous comments is against the laaawwwwwwwwwww

Grandma Caprio | 1/21/2009, 8:20 pm EST

Where’s-a Daner?

Lance Remulac | 1/21/2009, 8:20 pm EST

Shame on those who wish death or poorer health on Artie. If he was off the show for any reason, Stern would actually have to put some effort into the last 2 years of his contract that go beyond exploiting Artie’s unfortunate condition

Bubba the Love Sponge | 1/21/2009, 8:20 pm EST

I make Artie look skinny.

Joan Rivers | 1/21/2009, 8:21 pm EST

Hi Howard, see you next month with the same boring stories.

HS | 1/21/2009, 8:22 pm EST

Typical Stern fans as you take over another media source. This has to be the most action RS has had in years… and this is just on their blog about Art.

Artie Lange | 1/21/2009, 8:22 pm EST

It’s a double standard. When i’m on the horse, everyone bitches. When Howard’s on his, everyone says, ‘Oh, you and Beth are really in love.’

John C. Martling | 1/21/2009, 8:22 pm EST

Let Artie do what Artie’s gonna do.

Please.

Ted Kennedy | 1/21/2009, 8:23 pm EST

Errrrrrrrrrra

Cathy Evelyn Smith | 1/21/2009, 8:23 pm EST

Artie,

Are we still on for this weekend?

Teddy | 1/21/2009, 8:23 pm EST

Artie makes me go to Bloomies for him and then throws things at me. I am going to become a pilot. I would rather land every day on the Hudson river than continue to be raped by Artie.

Obama | 1/21/2009, 8:24 pm EST

Hey, where the white women at?

Lisa G. | 1/21/2009, 8:24 pm EST

Artie, I’m not just some wh-re for you to use. Call me back…

Amy Winehouse | 1/21/2009, 8:24 pm EST

They should try to make him go to rehab.

Stacey Lange | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

I’ll call you later Artie, I’m F*cking Tiki Barber now.

Hank Nasiff, Jr. | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

Artie is an unfunny, disgusting poop puddle whose self-indulgent excesses will result in his dear mom and foxy sis wearing black for a few weeks. What’s even worse than his hogging of airspace with gibberish and sleeping on the job, is the way he kisses up to that horse-faced, former international “escort” gold-digging wife of Hampton Howie. Yuck.

Lorne Michaels | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

Why isn’t this article on my radar?

Cash4Gold | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

Put “Artie’s a fat junkie” in the promo code box now for an extra 5% on our already high payout.

Robin | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

Artie eats lard right out the box

Norm MacDonald | 1/21/2009, 8:25 pm EST

Note to self: find another fatass to make a sidekick for Dirty Work 2.

Al Rosenberg | 1/21/2009, 8:26 pm EST

Will work for food.

Blue Iris | 1/21/2009, 8:27 pm EST

I love an addict cock.

Eric The Actor | 1/21/2009, 8:28 pm EST

Fred, you push that button one more time I’m gonna fly to New York and BREAK ALL YOUR FINGERS!!!

…ZERO…POINT. ..ZERO!

Underdog Lady | 1/21/2009, 8:28 pm EST

Where do you know me from? How did you know I was connected to the character Underdog?

Bad Cop | 1/21/2009, 8:28 pm EST

Don’t worry ,Art. I got it handled.

howard | 1/21/2009, 8:28 pm EST

“What just happened here??
…I was doodling”

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 8:29 pm EST

You could lead a horse to water but unless you have 500 million dollars you can’t make her drink.

Clearly | 1/21/2009, 8:30 pm EST

Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly
Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly Clearly

Jeff Curro | 1/21/2009, 8:30 pm EST

Look at that tiny-ass apartment. Stop making fun of my mother, you load. At least mine has wheels.

Eat Shit Rolling Stone | 1/21/2009, 8:30 pm EST

Rolling Stone, this is hugely unprofessional. You allow your writer to vent & give a personal analysis of a drug addicted celebrity on your website as retaliation???? What about journalistic integrity? This horrible decision to run this nasty response on your part, only damages your declining reputation even further. This writer just committed career suicide.

Beth O'S | 1/21/2009, 8:30 pm EST

Wow. I might look like a horse but you have gotten as big as one. WHEEEEAAAAAA

Riley | 1/21/2009, 8:31 pm EST

Riley can you hear me?

Huh?

RILEY CAN YOU HEAR ME?

UUUHH, HUH?

MotherTeresacallingfromthebed | 1/21/2009, 8:32 pm EST

God don’t want Artie yet, man.

Art Collector | 1/21/2009, 8:32 pm EST

Artie,

I am sending over some paint and canvas. I need you to paint something, ANYTHING, and sign it.

Please do it fast.

RS Damage Control | 1/21/2009, 8:33 pm EST

was any of this needed? does RS care?

heroin | 1/21/2009, 8:33 pm EST

Hey Art, I need you to pick me up before and after work.

Italian tuff guy | 1/21/2009, 8:34 pm EST

I’ll pay ya to meet chaaaa!..Done deal pal

Artie's Mom | 1/21/2009, 8:34 pm EST

Don’t worry, honey, I’ll bring over some mozzarella balls for you to gorge on before I call this RS lady to settle things out.

Gary Del'Abate | 1/21/2009, 8:34 pm EST

Hey boff, I’m on smack too, just like Artie. Can I go to rehab?

Jimmy Kimmel | 1/21/2009, 8:34 pm EST

Artie is the worst guest ever. I’m so tired of that walk to St.Louis on Crystal Meth joke.

Howard | 1/21/2009, 8:35 pm EST

“alright gang, artie needs help! Lets take off mondays, tuesdays and come in late on Wed and Thurs. That should give him the rest he needs.”
“gary! call my pilot and tell the audience we have lots of exciting projects in the works, that should shut em up, even though weve been on the air for 3 years”

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 8:36 pm EST

This is all a distraction to introduce the price increases at Sirius. This and the innigeration too.

Hank | 1/21/2009, 8:37 pm EST

Go have sex with your mother!

Deej | 1/21/2009, 8:37 pm EST

damn Art can you stop bringing my name up on the air. we were never that tight you pillhead

Daner | 1/21/2009, 8:39 pm EST

Artie congratulations, ur tits are as big as mine!!

Feltspot's wife | 1/21/2009, 8:39 pm EST

Artie how do you stay in such great shape? I wish I had the discipline you have.

Gravity | 1/21/2009, 8:41 pm EST

Artie, cut it out, I’m barely keeping everybody else on the planet down.

Beth O | 1/21/2009, 8:42 pm EST

Howard told me to get Whore Shoes. I misheard his and got Horse Shoes.

Riley Martin | 1/21/2009, 8:43 pm EST

If Artie dies, will I get more money?

The State of Delaware | 1/21/2009, 8:43 pm EST

Hey Artie! See you later!

Crumbs | 1/21/2009, 8:43 pm EST

It’s the cupcakes talking.

Artie Lange | 1/21/2009, 8:44 pm EST

That load on my chest was from Bruce Springsteen. The Boss can shoot wherever he wants to.

Green Room Couch | 1/21/2009, 8:44 pm EST

HE’S CRUSHING ME ALIVE! HELP ME!!

SFN Server | 1/21/2009, 8:44 pm EST

I’m going to take a nap now

John Hein | 1/21/2009, 8:44 pm EST

I think I just bored myself to death.

Dick Gozinya | 1/21/2009, 8:44 pm EST

The woman who wrote the article on Artie is the hottest chick he ever had up there.

Dan The Song Parody Man | 1/21/2009, 8:45 pm EST

anybody got $7500 they can spot me?

Janeane Garofalo | 1/21/2009, 8:45 pm EST

Stop copping my pose, Grigoriadis!

Norm MacDonald | 1/21/2009, 8:45 pm EST

Ridiculous! Do you believe these characters? Way out of line! Way out of line! I’ve a good mind to go to the warden. You know what hurts the most, it’s the lack of respect. Well, except for the a–l rape. The lack of respect hurts the second most.

Eric From Hoboken | 1/21/2009, 8:45 pm EST

Are they going to show your death on Howard TV, that’ll be epic.

Jackie Martling | 1/21/2009, 8:46 pm EST

Take a hot dose I need the work

Darth Nihilus | 1/21/2009, 8:47 pm EST

When you act like an asshole, don’t be surprised.

Larry Fine | 1/21/2009, 8:47 pm EST

Put down that needle, Artie!

I’m warning you!

Seatbelts | 1/21/2009, 8:47 pm EST

You just hate us cuz u cant find one of us that fits you, ya fat fuck

Mr. Saturday Night | 1/21/2009, 8:47 pm EST

It’s not fun. It’s not funny.

Joan Rivers | 1/21/2009, 8:48 pm EST

I’ll be on the show next Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Heroin | 1/21/2009, 8:48 pm EST

Artie, why won’t you call me? Are you still fucking that Subutex bitch?!

Sybian | 1/21/2009, 8:48 pm EST

Someone please clean me off after today’s show.

Donald Trump | 1/21/2009, 8:48 pm EST

Me, too.

Dennis Green | 1/21/2009, 8:49 pm EST

The Lange is who we thought he was….and we let’em off the hook.

Steve Jobs | 1/21/2009, 8:50 pm EST

Artie and I are both in perfect health.

Doctor Ivan | 1/21/2009, 8:51 pm EST

[font size=bigger_than_my_penis][b]A lright folks… tread cautiously! Artie is a part of the show staff and bashing show members is against the rules. It would be regrettable for me to have to lock you all up, but I’ll do it.[b][/font]

Teddy Microphone | 1/21/2009, 8:51 pm EST

You can’t fire me, I quit! (sung to the melody from that Rudolf animation where the elf wants to be a dentist).

Crazy Alice | 1/21/2009, 8:51 pm EST

Fuck you, fat Artie.

Bic Razor | 1/21/2009, 8:52 pm EST

Artie, call me. We need to talk.

EZ Pass | 1/21/2009, 8:53 pm EST

Pay your tolls, Lardass

J. Marlowe | 1/21/2009, 8:54 pm EST

Please don’t make a mockery of this.

god | 1/21/2009, 8:54 pm EST

boy did i make a mess with this one.

Artie's Bookie | 1/21/2009, 8:54 pm EST

Please keep going to Artie’s shows, he paid for my last three trips to Hawaii

Wheat Grass Enema | 1/21/2009, 8:54 pm EST

Artie…you disgust me!

12 Year old Howard | 1/21/2009, 8:55 pm EST

Holy Ga-Zookas!

SternFanNetwork | 1/21/2009, 8:55 pm EST

We’re powered by two Commodore 64s, bitch.

Artie's Mom | 1/21/2009, 8:56 pm EST

Baby, I’m not saying you’re fat, but I just stood up and my bowling ball fell out. Please, seek help.

Senior Pedro | 1/21/2009, 8:57 pm EST

My accent is fake. I used to be FlaFlaFloHi but Mutt decided to make me a VIP under my superfan roundtable name “Pedro” and hope nobody noticed.

Steve Langford | 1/21/2009, 8:57 pm EST

Who gives A shit? Who gives a fuck?

The Afghan Heroin Cartel | 1/21/2009, 8:57 pm EST

We love you, Artie!

andrew | 1/21/2009, 8:57 pm EST

aw, poor baby gorrilla. he’s funny. i’ll miss him on the show if he dies.

Nick DiPaulo | 1/21/2009, 8:58 pm EST

I am the best comedian in the world right now but if Artie dies, I am SOL.

Caroline's | 1/21/2009, 8:58 pm EST

We’ve widened the stage door, you shouldn’t have any problems next time.

Lisa G | 1/21/2009, 8:58 pm EST

I take shits at work (takes shits at work, takes shits at work, takes shits at work, takes shits at work)

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 8:59 pm EST

Dear peasants. I’m the king of all vacations.

Burger King | 1/21/2009, 8:59 pm EST

Just mention ‘Lange’ at any of our restaurants nationwide and receive four double cheeseburgers, a large fries, a chocolate shake, and a free fuzzy double chin! Valid only between 3am-5am.

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 8:59 pm EST

Is there anything else….Robin?

Doctor Ivan | 1/21/2009, 8:59 pm EST

I wonder if Artie would buy me a shirt that has sleeves?

New Jersey | 1/21/2009, 9:00 pm EST

Springsteen and Artie in the same Rolling Stone. I’m gonna release some stink bombs from the linden oil refineries.

Ron Popeil | 1/21/2009, 9:01 pm EST

Artie’s a great friend, and I’m a big fan. He just bought 20 rotisserie ovens from me for his apartment.

Pete Dominick | 1/21/2009, 9:01 pm EST

I’ll give five hundy to the anyone that brings Artie some H.

Mambo Man | 1/21/2009, 9:01 pm EST

Lets F some whoorahs.

Sal Governale | 1/21/2009, 9:03 pm EST

If anyone sees any suspicious texting using the numbers 143, please report this to Howard Stern right away. Grazie!

Lisa Lampinelli | 1/21/2009, 9:03 pm EST

Ugly, fat,hairy Italian loser with a dream. Artie and myself.

Wheatgrass | 1/21/2009, 9:03 pm EST

The rainforest is being slashed and burned to grow me for Artie’s enemas. I can’t take it.

Rosie O'Donnell | 1/21/2009, 9:06 pm EST

To be honest, I think I liked it better when howard used to rip me a new one. I know that sounds odd, even coming from me but I’m like that when I blog. And now, for some poetry….

Mark | 1/21/2009, 9:09 pm EST

Now I know why Vanessa G. is my favorite Rolling Stone writer. Man, she’s got balls to call it how it is. Artie is a disaster. What’s wrong with saying so?

Ashley Madison | 1/21/2009, 9:13 pm EST

Can Howard please get divorced, so the drug addict will quit reading our live commercials!

Sham | 1/21/2009, 9:14 pm EST

Sounds like the reporter — and the public — has gotten another glimpse at the real Artie Lange’s misogynistic, racist, can’t deal with anyone who IS better than him and isn’t male, white, and preferably Italian or at least Gentile. His attention whoring and ignorance have desecrated the “makes you think” quality of the Stern Show. Artie’s injected the absolutely lowest common denominator — what an example for adolescent boys he is!

Sante Rulli | 1/21/2009, 9:14 pm EST

I’m writing a book about Artie.

Frank Lucas | 1/21/2009, 9:15 pm EST

You’re the best, Artie!

greg fitzpatrick | 1/21/2009, 9:15 pm EST

howard: when artie drops dead this week, give me a buzz. despite what i said a few weeks ago about all comedians being night owls who could never work in the morning, i would take artie’s spot in a friggin second! then howard can make me a millionaire so that he never has to be creative again … greg

Artie's Mother | 1/21/2009, 9:15 pm EST

Just die already fat load! You’re breaking my heart! Here have some cannoli!

Doctor Ivan | 1/21/2009, 9:16 pm EST

My arms are so huge, they rip the sleeves right off my shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sham | 1/21/2009, 9:16 pm EST

Poor Ms. Reporter got up close and personal not only with the drug-addled Artie but also his misogynistic, proudly ignorant, racist (as in “I’m edgy – hear me use the n-word”) side.

H. Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:16 pm EST

I don’t care what this Rolling Stone reporter wrote. Fact of the matter is, Artie is alegend and he is doing all of the heavy lifting on the show and is not going anywhere if I have anything to do with it. If you will excuse me, I need to listen to Paul McCartney’s shitty new album again. I can’t get enough of that negro spiritual he ripped off…Let the light from your lighthouse shine on me…Oogah!

Ben Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:16 pm EST

This is some brouhaha.

Artie's Mother | 1/21/2009, 9:17 pm EST

Funeral is cheaper than rehab!

Artie | 1/21/2009, 9:18 pm EST

Howard and I have something in common. I am doing Horse (Heroin) and he is doing Horse Face.

A. Lange | 1/21/2009, 9:18 pm EST

Whaah, I’m a hack and it’s being exposed Whaah

H. Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:18 pm EST

I invented heroin

Bruce Springsteen | 1/21/2009, 9:19 pm EST

Quit name dropping me everywhere you go. I don’t care if you’re from The Jersey Shore.

Heather Wilson | 1/21/2009, 9:19 pm EST

Artie KNEW what he was doing.

Bruce S | 1/21/2009, 9:20 pm EST

I’m embarrassed to be from New Jersey! Please don’t buy this mag…even if I’m on the cover!

andrew dice clay | 1/21/2009, 9:20 pm EST

I hope you spent that $5,000 I gave you for the show last year on some good smack. It’s the last time we work together since you will undoubtedly be dead soon …

Nick Serafini | 1/21/2009, 9:21 pm EST

If anyone knows how to get in touch with Artie, call me, I can help! And no, I don’t just want to give him a massage.

Artie new act | 1/21/2009, 9:21 pm EST

(while dribbling a basketball) I’m open African American.

Sugar | 1/21/2009, 9:21 pm EST

Artie, there’s only one white powdery substance in your life, and that’s me!

Doctor Ivan | 1/21/2009, 9:22 pm EST

Folks quit now or I will have to place y’all in time out and you’ll be there longer than Jay-Z. I’d hate to do it, but will.

howard stern | 1/21/2009, 9:22 pm EST

can you fire someone if they are asleep?

New Jersey | 1/21/2009, 9:23 pm EST

I do not know this man at all, and I wish he would stop mentioning me because he’s bringing down my general atmosphere. And the Guidos already do that enough.

Lady on the Riley Martin Show | 1/21/2009, 9:23 pm EST

His gut…was shaped…like a mmmmBRAIN!!

Steve Wangford | 1/21/2009, 9:23 pm EST

I want Artie to go to jail

Jay Leno | 1/21/2009, 9:24 pm EST

Who cares what is going on with Artie-whoever? Stern’s show is no longer relevant

Linda Bollea | 1/21/2009, 9:24 pm EST

Just say no to drugs.

Artie's Dick | 1/21/2009, 9:25 pm EST

Someone say hi to Artie for me.

We haven’t seen each other in a couple years.

Lisa G | 1/21/2009, 9:25 pm EST

Artie, I would still watch you piss for a drug test. Just give me a minute to find the microscope and the tweezers and I’ll be right there.

Feltspot | 1/21/2009, 9:26 pm EST

Artie can date my daughter anytime

Ted Kennedy | 1/21/2009, 9:27 pm EST

Errah Artie Lange Errah

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:28 pm EST

The show has been good this week.

Has Been Sanjaya
Has Been from LFO, Rich Cronin
and Has Been Joan Rivers.

Pat Cooper | 1/21/2009, 9:30 pm EST

Hey Vanessa, you say artie takes drugs? WHO TOLD YA DAT!

Artie's Dick | 1/21/2009, 9:30 pm EST

Some say hi to Artie for me.

We haven’t seen each other in a couple years.

Natalie Maines | 1/21/2009, 9:31 pm EST

Bwahahaha! Now my second plan to destroy the Howard Stern show has come to fruition! I knew nobody would listen to that midget and his sad stories of whores!!

Elliot Offen | 1/21/2009, 9:31 pm EST

mentalcripplementalcripplement alcripplementalcripplementalcr ipplementalcripplementalcrippl ementalcripplementalcripple

Artie | 1/21/2009, 9:32 pm EST

My Favorite Springsteen song?

I’m on Fiyah

Mel K. | 1/21/2009, 9:32 pm EST

Remember fans – the merger is a good thing.

Johnny Fratto | 1/21/2009, 9:33 pm EST

Artie’s sick? How much for him to become my new midget billboard? I’ll throw in another $5 if he lets Johnny Junior bounce on that belly of his!

The Friars Club | 1/21/2009, 9:33 pm EST

We’d still prefer Artie over that shameless coat-tail rider Gary Dell’Abate.

hulk hogan | 1/21/2009, 9:33 pm EST

look brother..let my son drive you to rehab

H. Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:34 pm EST

Lazy and unmotivated is no way to live. Enough about me though, I hope Artie gets better.

Mile Walker | 1/21/2009, 9:35 pm EST

Can I tell you my favorite Matt Dillon story real quick?

Bloated Attorney | 1/21/2009, 9:35 pm EST

MAYDAY MAYDAY!

JD Harmeyer | 1/21/2009, 9:35 pm EST

I hate you Artie

H. Stern | 1/21/2009, 9:35 pm EST

Does anyone remember when I was relevant?

Teddy | 1/21/2009, 9:36 pm EST

Oh my God, Artie just came home drunk and naked and thought I was Daner! Please, someone call the cops, he just won’t stop throwing soda at me!!!

Dominic Barbara | 1/21/2009, 9:36 pm EST

Artie took Dana’s Kidney and ate it. He’s clearly going to have to give her $1.5 million, or give it back.

T@H | 1/21/2009, 9:36 pm EST

this wouldn’t happen if artie lived in canada

AACK AACK | 1/21/2009, 9:37 pm EST

artie you rule man, awsome book.
long live howard stern. ps F_jacky

Andrea Ownbey | 1/21/2009, 9:38 pm EST

Artie, I think you have a slight substance abuse problem.

Artie's Dick | 1/21/2009, 9:39 pm EST

Where’s Doosh?

Do I hafta fellate *myself* ?

Heroin | 1/21/2009, 9:39 pm EST

YOU’LL BE BAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

Michael Richards | 1/21/2009, 9:39 pm EST

I think Artie is a comic genius.

Howard's Idea Notebook | 1/21/2009, 9:40 pm EST

“Why have my pages remained blank for the past few years?”

Robin | 1/21/2009, 9:41 pm EST

Hey, did you all know that Artie has some kind of drug addiction? As a nurse, I can tell you that it’s simply a run of the mill marijuana addiction. He has to sleep in the Green Room or otherwise he sags like those kids in those commercials. I stop that by shoving pure Folgers up my ass.

Beetlejuice | 1/21/2009, 9:42 pm EST

ARTY IZ A MESS

LETER jr

Sirius Think Tank | 1/21/2009, 9:43 pm EST

Hey, I got it! Let’s charge our subscribers an additional $4.00 per month per radio for less channels and less service. That will eliminate the 4 BILLION dollar debt we’ve built up.

Jackie | 1/21/2009, 9:43 pm EST

You know what a smell? A COMEBACK, BABY!!

Eric the Actor | 1/21/2009, 9:44 pm EST

ACK ACK ACK, FAT ASS!

Chris Farley | 1/21/2009, 9:44 pm EST

See you soon Artie

Brett Favre | 1/21/2009, 9:44 pm EST

Howard Stern is the “me” of radio.

Beetlejuice | 1/21/2009, 9:46 pm EST

ARTiy iZ a Messs

Lterd Gren jr.

Jim Florentine | 1/21/2009, 9:46 pm EST

My dick will never forgive me.

Crazy Alice | 1/21/2009, 9:46 pm EST

F*uck You , Fat Artie..Hi Fred !

ned | 1/21/2009, 9:48 pm EST

artie is unreal just like me

Lisa Glassberg | 1/21/2009, 9:48 pm EST

I wrote this for Artie:

It’s not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me.
It’s more the way that you mean it
When you tell me what will be.

ANDY FROM ONTARIO | 1/21/2009, 9:49 pm EST

I met Artie and can safely say He is not using drugs!!! Ok Artie I said it now where’s my heroine?

Beth O | 1/21/2009, 9:50 pm EST

“Really, honey. The fans will love to hear about Katie Joel’s new cookbook.”

former fans | 1/21/2009, 9:51 pm EST

thank you artie now we all sleep from 6-11

Eric Nukis | 1/21/2009, 9:52 pm EST

Might as well go for a soda, Artie. Nobody hurts, and nobody DIES!!!!

Hank the dwarf | 1/21/2009, 9:53 pm EST

why dont you go have sex with yoruself

Gary Dell'Abate | 1/21/2009, 9:54 pm EST

I hate Iron Maiden.

The Truth | 1/21/2009, 9:54 pm EST

I can count the funny comments below on one hand. Most of the comments left here are stupid and pointless, written by SFN morons.

Bank Teller | 1/21/2009, 9:54 pm EST

This fat gross guy comes in and tries to rob the bank. When I refuse to give him the money he said that he was only joking.

arites dad | 1/21/2009, 9:55 pm EST

i said hold the latter..leave the cannoli,s

Brazillian Hooker | 1/21/2009, 9:56 pm EST

Some loser fell in love with he when I was a teenager. I’m sure he’s broke and I make $10,000 a year sucking on men.

Artie's Liver | 1/21/2009, 9:58 pm EST

OUCH, HELP ME!!! :(

Matt DiBiase | 1/21/2009, 9:58 pm EST

No, no Ms. Grigoriadis, you got it all wrong: He put those vinyl records out hoping to turn you onto them. He knew you’d never heard them before what with all the Coldplay and Jack Johnson on your iPod.

Beetlejuice | 1/21/2009, 10:00 pm EST

I’ll shake his hand but he looks like a dope-a-tu

Jon Hein | 1/21/2009, 10:01 pm EST

I jumped the shark in 06.

Robin Quivers | 1/21/2009, 10:01 pm EST

Howard is so cheap. He can buy an $800 bottle of wine every second for the next 50 years and still be a multi-millionaire.

Shamela's Cock | 1/21/2009, 10:02 pm EST

Don’t take the Artie hate seriously. Sham is just mad I haven’t been chopped off yet.

Teddy | 1/21/2009, 10:02 pm EST

I have a crush on Artie. Here is a poem I wrote for him:

It’s not the way that you say it
When you do those things to me.
It’s more the way that you mean it
When you tell me what will be.

Heywood Jablowmey | 1/21/2009, 10:04 pm EST

Fat hack, drop dead

H. Stern | 1/21/2009, 10:04 pm EST

Artie does a great job. He does have to stop falling asleep at work though. He should follow my example and fall asleep instead in front of photographers at posh Hamptons concerts while his golddigging wife sits next to him yammering to some hangers on

Casey | 1/21/2009, 10:06 pm EST

Don’t even think of coming out of an uptempo song if I read Artie’s eulogy.

Norm McDonald | 1/21/2009, 10:07 pm EST

I finally got him some steady work. So long, junkie.

Fred Nukis | 1/21/2009, 10:07 pm EST

Artie – did you know that Norris is not my real last name?

Ralph Macchio | 1/21/2009, 10:09 pm EST

What did I do?
WHAT DID I DO?!?!

Artie L. | 1/21/2009, 10:10 pm EST

I’m pissed that the reporter did not take me to the park in Wildwood and hit me some sky-ers. She proooommmissed!

Gary Dellabate | 1/21/2009, 10:11 pm EST

This article is in the minority

Audamars Piguet Watches | 1/21/2009, 10:11 pm EST

We’re proud sponsors of this fat slob’s sleeping! Every Stern Show fan should have a $63,000 watch!

Artie's last vein | 1/21/2009, 10:12 pm EST

y’all can’t see me!

Zolar | 1/21/2009, 10:16 pm EST

hang in there Artie! I want to have you on Zolarvision. Bo Derek’s aunt will be on too

bye sirius | 1/21/2009, 10:17 pm EST

sirius your service is falling and artie will outlast that cheap service!!!!

lee lee sobeskie | 1/21/2009, 10:18 pm EST

One day.
One.
More than another.
The other,
that day,
those people,
too many,
too personal,
but not.
People you know know,
but you yourself know not.
Crashing down,
all frown,
hurting,
walking,
si lently screaming,
slowly running,
often feeling nothing.
Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
seeing those trapped inside.
Cry.
Cry.
It’s OK.
It’s not OK.
Smile if it’s natural
Feel alive.
The president speaks,
The situation reeks an act of war.
I enter my room, close the door
Sit here.
Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
we young will experience much more
future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
My brother I love you.
Old friends and family too.
Safe for now glad to know I’m alive with all of you.
Feel what is real feel later heal.
One.
One person feeling the same as all the rest.
Please let us act and do what is best.

MUTT MUTT | 1/21/2009, 10:18 pm EST

Hope you are reporting every PENNY you get from donations and Advertising, cause we reported you to the IRS today ! For real.
Happy New Year LOSER
DOUCHE

Eric from Hoboken | 1/21/2009, 10:19 pm EST

Jeez Artie, this was not a very good artice about you. But you know what is good? Howard TV! The new stuff is awesome! Everyone should get it!

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 10:19 pm EST

Jesus Christ can Atrie die already so i can bring Colin Quinn in

bye sirius | 1/21/2009, 10:21 pm EST

i remember when i first got sirius and it was so good! now their raising prices and giving us nothing! they brought over that crap from xm and a few dj’s that should of been canned! all i can say is i wish kayla the best cause she’s the only one that cares deep down! kayla is sirius!!!

Blockbuster | 1/21/2009, 10:21 pm EST

Beer League was so bad we had to give it away as a door stop and a chew toy for Pitbulls. The dogs got bored with it. The doors kept closing.

Scott Depace | 1/21/2009, 10:22 pm EST

I could care less about Artie, he is a liberal.

Fred Norris | 1/21/2009, 10:23 pm EST

OBAMA !!!!!!!!

Dane Cook | 1/21/2009, 10:24 pm EST

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Loser hack.

Jim Belushi | 1/21/2009, 10:24 pm EST

Please stop comparing me to this pathetic hack.

bye sirius | 1/21/2009, 10:24 pm EST

boy look at artie a real freakin role model! someday their gonna bury him in a piano case!!!!!

Artie | 1/21/2009, 10:25 pm EST

Hey, I said she was like a young Lola Folana.

Dr. Ivan Wannabe | 1/21/2009, 10:25 pm EST

NOTE TO USERS HERE: Whomever posted the horrid lee lee sobieski poem, you have crossed the line. One more mis-step and you will be Dr. Ivaned.

Dick Clark | 1/21/2009, 10:25 pm EST

Mmibfvm kduhgbls vwyepvjv nsgfdlf.

Cdpwmfg mngf ncb.

Ngcw, lfmnv pgbstr.

Gary the Retard | 1/21/2009, 10:26 pm EST

But i don’t wanna go the moon

John Belushi | 1/21/2009, 10:26 pm EST

This is the new me? Oh HELL no.

granma caprio | 1/21/2009, 10:26 pm EST

ma poor artie
ma poor artie
donta you people messa witha him
ma poor artie
donta you calla him a hacka

Benjy | 1/21/2009, 10:27 pm EST

Man, I just feed Howard lines, but from the looks of the picture in the article, Artie has been feeding himself copious amounts of lard and grease

underdog lady | 1/21/2009, 10:27 pm EST

all of you will pay!!!!! ” more and more if you keep sirius hahahahaha

Jay Sherman | 1/21/2009, 10:28 pm EST

I feel thinner now my comparison.

Orlando Jones | 1/21/2009, 10:28 pm EST

Don’t call me Artie! Get a clue, I can’t stand you!!

Beth Ostrosky | 1/21/2009, 10:28 pm EST

Weeheehee!

beetlejuice | 1/21/2009, 10:29 pm EST

me?
mmmmmm about a hundred and forty thirty

Horsefaced Beth Yokstrosky | 1/21/2009, 10:29 pm EST

Hurry up and die, you fat repetitive old drug addict. I can’t wait to get your seat on the show. You know Howard is grooming me to take over when he finally crosses the finish line. Then the Stern show will be MY, beth o’s, race to run!

Gare | 1/21/2009, 10:30 pm EST

Yeah, no, I know. Artie’s professional life is at a noine but his personal life is at a two.

Mutt | 1/21/2009, 10:30 pm EST

This writer knows his sh*t and I know because I’m the guy who knows!

underdog lady | 1/21/2009, 10:31 pm EST

radio 365
radio io

get lost sirius

Horseface Beth yokOstrosky | 1/21/2009, 10:31 pm EST

Hurry up and die, you fat repetitive old drug addict. I can’t wait to get your seat on the show. You know Howard is grooming me to take over when he finally crosses the finish line. Then the Stern show will be MY, beth yoko’s, race to run!

Beth Ostrosky | 1/21/2009, 10:31 pm EST

I like shiny objects!

Artie's Sister | 1/21/2009, 10:31 pm EST

Just for everybody’s information, I look NOTHING like that.

John Candy | 1/21/2009, 10:32 pm EST

art will be dead soon and we will have some good times in heaven or hell.

Whoopi | 1/21/2009, 10:32 pm EST

I’ll send Artie a confusing letter kind of praising him.

Osama | 1/21/2009, 10:32 pm EST

After you entertain the troops, we can blow them up with the weapons paid for by our heroin profits. Thanks Artie

underdog lady | 1/21/2009, 10:34 pm EST

thanks to rollingstone for letting everyone unload!!!!!

Dean Wormer | 1/21/2009, 10:34 pm EST

Zero. Point. Zero.

underdog lady | 1/21/2009, 10:36 pm EST

kayla from octane is great!!

Beth O Stern | 1/21/2009, 10:36 pm EST

I’m furious at Artie. Why is he doing horse. He should be on coke, at least my face doesn’t look like a coke.

Artie | 1/21/2009, 10:37 pm EST

Wait a minute….all I wanted was for her to call me a young Tony Curtis.

Boss of the Longshoremen | 1/21/2009, 10:37 pm EST

I told Artie to come back and see me when the showbusiness thing didn’t work out. Looks like he will be coming by soon. There are lots of ships loaded with orange juice that have his name on em

Deleware | 1/21/2009, 10:37 pm EST

Leave Artie alone, he’s perfect as is. See you soon Artie.

Kevin James | 1/21/2009, 10:38 pm EST

Ha ha! I’m now the fat man on top of the WOOOORLD!!

Dan | 1/21/2009, 10:40 pm EST

Can I borrow a subscription? I have a giftscription windfall coming.

Tim Sabien | 1/21/2009, 10:42 pm EST

Look, Artie is a work in progress. He’s just trying to work out the schedueling problems.

Mutt | 1/21/2009, 10:44 pm EST

This Website is weird. Why isn’t it stalling and crashing every 10 minutes?

Artie | 1/21/2009, 10:44 pm EST

Jan. 22, 5:49 AM

“Hey Gar, It’s Art. I have a doctor appointment in 10 minutes and won’t be in today. See you on Monday, bro”

Ashley Madison | 1/21/2009, 10:44 pm EST

Artie would rather do heroin and OD, than bang a girl from my service.

Jason Kaplan | 1/21/2009, 10:45 pm EST

Can someone please tell Dan Song Parody Man that Howard thinks he is a creep and everyone hates having him at the creative meetings.

underdog lady | 1/21/2009, 10:46 pm EST

this is the big article? Thats gonna be zach efron when he gets to be artie’s age!

Artie Lange in 2012 | 1/21/2009, 10:47 pm EST

(On the Phone) Yeah Sure you can live in my garage Phelan

arites dad | 1/21/2009, 10:48 pm EST

that fat fuck left me on the ladder when he heard the ice cream truck ring its bells..thanks son

Joel "Moneybags" Hollander | 1/21/2009, 10:49 pm EST

The most emphatic endorsement I could ever give Howard for the Jackie chair would be David Lee Roth. I know, it seems so ridiculous but trust me, he is a Diamond in the Roth. Ohhhh! I’m a genius of myself.

Stanley | 1/21/2009, 10:51 pm EST

Either get your act together or start saving your money.

Amy Winehouse | 1/21/2009, 10:51 pm EST

We should get together sometime.

Joel "Moneybags" Hollander | 1/21/2009, 10:53 pm EST

Howard should hire David Lee Roth.

Al Pacino's Baby | 1/21/2009, 10:53 pm EST

My mom…is Beverly D’Angelo.

Ann Murray | 1/21/2009, 10:54 pm EST

Stop singing my song you fat hack

David Lee Roth | 1/21/2009, 10:54 pm EST

It’s not heavy lifting.

Bigfoot | 1/21/2009, 10:57 pm EST

How ‘come the Rolling Stone it is doesn’t do a story about vermont and how they’re screwing me it is. The only thing Artie’s good for is thinking about when I take a s— it is.

Mutt's Fat Bloated Wife | 1/21/2009, 11:04 pm EST

6 whoppers, 9 bags of fries, 2 pizzas, 8 burritos, 4 quarter ponders, a 5 gallon bucket of General Tso’s chicken, 12 ice cream sandwiches, 5 dozen donuts, 2 dozen tacos, 6 gallons of pepsi, 60 egg rolls, 4 pepperoni pizzas, 6 foot long hotdogs, a trash bag of pork fried rice, 3 dozen crab rangoons, 4 meatball sandwiches

High Pitch Mike | 1/21/2009, 11:06 pm EST

Now THIS is a Party!!!!

Robin Ophelia Quivers | 1/21/2009, 11:07 pm EST

Ammmaaaaaaaaaazing!

Julie Chen | 1/21/2009, 11:08 pm EST

But what happens after Big Brother runs out? Did you ever think of that you friggin’ numnuts?

Joe Black | 1/21/2009, 11:08 pm EST

Hi artie

Walter Cronkite | 1/21/2009, 11:10 pm EST

That’s the porblem with you people nowadays, you use words like friggin’.

Stern 4 Gold dot Com | 1/21/2009, 11:10 pm EST

That writer sounds like a condescending hewer.

Rolling stone sucks anyway

Cabbie | 1/21/2009, 11:16 pm EST

Hey Art are you still loaning money to deadbeats? Call me back man!

Green Room | 1/21/2009, 11:17 pm EST

It smells like roses in here.

Collin Powell | 1/21/2009, 11:18 pm EST

Son, step away from the computer.

Hampton Howard | 1/21/2009, 11:19 pm EST

Artie, bro, could ya please keep it together until about one month before I retire, and then OD! That way we won’t have to write ANYTHING for the show for the last month. Oh wait, we already don’t put any effort into the show as it is. Ok, go ahead and OD anytime you want. It’ll be RADIO GOLD!

Stacy | 1/21/2009, 11:19 pm EST

Since he gained all that weight I can barely find his thing.

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 11:20 pm EST

Artie Lange saved my show.

Artie Lange is why people listen to my show today.

In fact, I should stop calling it my show, because Artie Lange is the star, and I will never, ever fire him.

howard stern hey now | 1/21/2009, 11:23 pm EST

sounds like rolling stone just jumped the shark

T@H's son | 1/21/2009, 11:24 pm EST

my dad love artie

A LOT!

Orlando Jones | 1/21/2009, 11:28 pm EST

The reason i didnt call Artie is because i thought he died years ago

Artie's Gangrenous Liver | 1/21/2009, 11:30 pm EST

Get me out of this fat bastard!
Running out of ROOOM!

Howard Stern | 1/21/2009, 11:33 pm EST

Wait, what just happened? I missed it!

King of All Media | 1/21/2009, 11:35 pm EST

I can’t wait for Joey Boots to go to Florida.
I hate living in T O.

Stacie Lange | 1/21/2009, 11:39 pm EST

Why can’t you all leave my fat loser drug addicted brother alone???

New Jersey | 1/21/2009, 11:40 pm EST

Would you be terribly offended if we asked you to leave fattie?

Heroin | 1/21/2009, 11:41 pm EST

You will never leave me Artie….

Delaware | 1/21/2009, 11:47 pm EST

I knew you’d never leave.

Johnny "Mud" Mudman | 1/21/2009, 11:53 pm EST

I’m a much better stand up comedian than Artie Lange. I can also write better than Vanessa Grigoriadis.

Vinny on the Bus | 1/21/2009, 11:56 pm EST

No really Dave still loves you but we’re booked till 2013.

Tom Chiusano | 1/22/2009, 12:00 am EST

I have found the DJ that will save H101: The Greaseman. Mel, call me and let’s do lunch.

cdigi | 1/22/2009, 12:02 am EST

LOL.. decorated by his MOM? Christ Artie, hire a decorator of something.

Elegant Elliot Offen | 1/22/2009, 12:03 am EST

Rolling Stone better stick to making disparaging remarks about the rusty nail Lange. Ask Joe Corson what happens when you say such things about my father Murray Offen outside the Stage Deli riiiiight??

Arties "sensitive" side | 1/22/2009, 12:03 am EST

So funny how Artie acts all offended by the reporters remark about the Italian family make up, when he does it himself almost everyday. Come on Artie, just admit it, your half injun.

Artie Lange with an "E" | 1/22/2009, 12:10 am EST

Well uhhhhhhh…..you know….hehe heeehhhh…first of all… Listen….and dum…. And duhhhhhhh…. You know….I, I, I, I, I….INSANELY hot.

Howard brainstorming | 1/22/2009, 12:12 am EST

Now how could I turn this relapse into getting even more time off!!!! I can’t get how those whiny little die hard fans thats followed me over to a paid subscription where they are supposed to get uncensored radio, but where I supply them with a terrestrial show on my other channel can even complain at all. I’m the king of all media.

Grim Reaper | 1/22/2009, 12:16 am EST

Talk about Bizarro world.

As tasteless and offensive as they may be the ‘die’ posts may just help Artie realise his precarious position and he may act on trying to get himself together.

On the other hand the comments that ‘we love you Artie doesn’t matter what’ may be helping him to spiral out of control.

As for the posts criticizing the journalist they are just plain stupid. Talk about shooting the messanger. She was pretty easy on him considering his pathological lying was never brought up.

uncensored radio | 1/22/2009, 12:19 am EST

I just came up with a fabulous idea that should make me filthy rich. Uncensored radio!!!! I heard satellite tried it, but it failed, since Howard censors almost all his callers, and we get to listen to a watered down version of Bubba. Funny how Howard bashed on terrestrial radio, then airs it on his own channels. Can you say hypocrite.

HelloHelloHello | 1/22/2009, 12:20 am EST

The author claims to possess an unbiased view. Given the Bio info available, I can easily see where, once again, Artie slices through reality and dissects it for us perfectly. He explains the roles we inhabit – to the the dismay of some and to the delight of others. Onward Ho, Artie. Hold out for 700 thousand on that reality re-hab show. Make it a gig. Get paid to get clean. Long live Sirius XM!!!

Will Sasso | 1/22/2009, 12:23 am EST

I offer myself as Artie’s replacement. You know, just like I was on Mad TV!

Jessica Lange | 1/22/2009, 12:24 am EST

This isn’t me, as many people MIGHT think.

McGriddle | 1/22/2009, 12:26 am EST

Artie loves me.

Elegant Elliot Offen | 1/22/2009, 12:26 am EST

Artie you drug captivated, repulsive, slob you look like the last shit I took, riiggght?

Vermont | 1/22/2009, 12:27 am EST

Hey, New Jersey, don’t you even think of sending that fat Guido up here. We barely tolerate Bigfoot and his whores as it is, you bastard!

Blue Iris | 1/22/2009, 12:29 am EST

You are the best kisser Artie!

Will Sasso | 1/22/2009, 12:29 am EST

After looking at Artie’s new pic, is it okay if I’m somewhat thin now? I mean, I can gain weight, but I don’t think my fairly tubby body can drink lard shakes and eat nothing but twinkie filling.

Dr. Weird | 1/22/2009, 12:31 am EST

HA HA!! Now I’m not the worst thing about New Jersey!!

George Takai | 1/22/2009, 12:32 am EST

*whispers*
Actually, I like to touch Artie.

Robin O. Quivers | 1/22/2009, 12:33 am EST

Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

Italy | 1/22/2009, 12:34 am EST

Dear Mr. Lange, we have considered your application to become one of our citizens and we have declined. We simply don’t need the bad press. We’re still trying to get over the one-two punch of Growing Up Gotti. Thanks again.

Joaquin Phoenix | 1/22/2009, 12:34 am EST

I take the microphone and put it in my fist, cos a bitch ain’t nuthin’ but a dirty bitch!

Dr. Drew | 1/22/2009, 12:39 am EST

GODDAMN!!

I’m taking back my offer.

Bubba the Love Sponge | 1/22/2009, 12:52 am EST

This is BULLshit.

Artie's Heroin Dealer | 1/22/2009, 1:07 am EST

Artie was with me last night.

Beetlejuice | 1/22/2009, 8:33 am EST

fuck you ginnie, shit pizza.

Tony Soprano | 1/22/2009, 8:52 am EST

Grigoriadis, I didn’t care for your stereotypical comment on Italian-Americans. Unless you’re one, you are not in the right realm to say such things.

Artie's Delaware Drug Dealer | 1/22/2009, 9:06 am EST

Since you have been seeing someone local, I’ve had to file for bankruptcy. How can I survive w/o you Art? I’ve got kids to feed, you fat fuck!

Artie's ex-Bookie | 1/22/2009, 9:54 am EST

Ha Ha! I still have $60,000.00 of Artie’s money. I would say I did it to keep him from buying smack, but why lie? I did it so I could buy my wife a new pair of tits, lypo and a face lift. Fuck you Artie!

I am currently sponsoring a death pool on Artie. Squares are $100 a piece.

froggy | 1/22/2009, 9:56 am EST

Artie keep your hands off buddysgirl she’s mine! :giggle:

George Takei | 1/22/2009, 9:58 am EST

I love my cuddly Love Muffin!

the shiv | 1/22/2009, 10:00 am EST

Artie looks like he needs a hairbrush.

bellastrega | 1/22/2009, 10:03 am EST

Why do they have a picture of me up there? And I quit smoking for new years!

Oderus | 1/22/2009, 10:05 am EST

This article makes me wanna punch something.

Air Florida | 1/22/2009, 10:07 am EST

wow Artie looks like shit

Chris from Vegas | 1/22/2009, 10:20 am EST

Artie needs to die soon. He is starting to bore me.

Alice | 1/22/2009, 10:32 am EST

Fuck you, Artie!

heathen2002 | 1/22/2009, 11:13 am EST

Isn’t cocaine supposed to make you thinner?

Elliot Offenburg | 1/22/2009, 11:20 am EST

ARTIE LANGE IS A BEEF STEW, RIIIGHT?

Dana | 1/22/2009, 11:30 am EST

Arte, you’re so self absorbed it’s nauseating. Howard, you’re the biggest enabler who’s ever lived, and all because it’s interesting radio, and the both of you are so out of touch with reality it’s disgusting. You’ve lost your edge Stern – and you’ve lost your appeal Lange. It’s boring. Just finish the job and put yourself out of your own misery. God I’m sick and tired of hearing about you and your pathetic problems. GO AWAY!

$800 bottle of wine | 1/22/2009, 11:51 am EST

At least Artie has enough sense not to order me when Howard is paying.

the price is wrong | 1/22/2009, 11:55 am EST

ba
ba
boooey

vince the "shamWOW" guy | 1/22/2009, 12:02 pm EST

the germans always build good stuff

Sour Shoes | 1/22/2009, 12:03 pm EST

What a loser Artie is! Get a life junkie! Oooohhhhh!!

Frank from Monkton, MD | 1/22/2009, 12:05 pm EST

I love Artie, he’s so generous and funny, byt he does need help.

tracy morgan | 1/22/2009, 12:10 pm EST

BBbbblaaaaagggghhhhtttttttt

g aihgle
gaihgle
gaihgle

Sal Governale | 1/22/2009, 12:10 pm EST

This entire article was taken out of content. Artie should demand a traction.

Tracy the Office Manager | 1/22/2009, 12:13 pm EST

what a DOUCHE

Sanjaya | 1/22/2009, 12:13 pm EST

i’d hit it

Captain Janks | 1/22/2009, 12:15 pm EST

Uh hello…..this is Dr. Phil (cough cough) Can I intervene on Artie’s behalf and film it for a TV special?

Oh my lord this is quite tenses

David | 1/22/2009, 12:21 pm EST

artie rocks, fuck off and leave him alone, he will die soon enough

Joe Reader | 1/22/2009, 12:24 pm EST

Artie Lange = douchebag

Stern Fan - Joe | 1/22/2009, 12:24 pm EST

I have lost total respect for Artie. He needs HELP!

Note to Artie: your only friend is Robin, She will tell you the truth that your a JUNKIE!

GET HELP!!!!!

Before its too late

Mom | 1/22/2009, 12:25 pm EST

Artie, you can’t do drugs, you are too fat to do drugs. Call you dealer and tell him that you are too fat to do drugs. Sit at home with your mother and I will make you 9 pounds of spaghetti

Robin Fan | 1/22/2009, 12:27 pm EST

HOWARD: HELP ARTIE before he dies.

You need to FIRE HIM to save his life.

Do you not realize a JUNKIE always lies.

Ben Stern | 1/22/2009, 12:27 pm EST

Shut up, sit down!

Artie's Mercedes | 1/22/2009, 12:29 pm EST

I’m breaking down because Artie’s so low-class.

Joe Staten Island | 1/22/2009, 12:33 pm EST

The truth hurts.

Artie, PLEASE GET HELP.

I do not want to wake up to news of your death. You still have a chance to get clean. Gary and Robin would be happy to help you if you truly want help.

Your fans are getting turned off by your drug use. Save yourself, Save your self!

God Bless YOU and GOOD LUCK hopefully getting clean.

Artie's Dad | 1/22/2009, 12:34 pm EST

Just hold the damn ladder!!

recap | 1/22/2009, 12:38 pm EST

Dana | 1/22/2009, 11:30 am EST

Arte, you’re so self absorbed it’s nauseating. Howard, you’re the biggest enabler who’s ever lived, and all because it’s interesting radio, and the both of you are so out of touch with reality it’s disgusting. You’ve lost your edge Stern – and you’ve lost your appeal Lange. It’s boring. Just finish the job and put yourself out of your own misery. God I’m sick and tired of hearing about you and your pathetic problems. GO AWAY!

Dana, YOUR RIGHT!
Howard is a enabler. Robin and Gary seem to be the only people that worry about Artie.

Howard only worries about Howard.

WAKE UP HOWARD, FIRE ARTIE

get Greg or Dave to fill in when you get rid of Artie.

Bring new life into the show.

.

Heroin | 1/22/2009, 12:38 pm EST

Artie likes to put me on McGriddles.

Gary Dell'Abate | 1/22/2009, 12:41 pm EST

Take off your pants, and let’s get down to business.

Fat Guy | 1/22/2009, 12:41 pm EST

Get real. Artie wants to be fired to be able to blame someone for his drug abuse.

He needs to look in the mirror and figure out he needs to clean up. DRUG USE IS NOT A JOKE!

Jim | 1/22/2009, 12:55 pm EST

Yeah that chicks does sound like a B^&%H. I think artie was right

ron and fez 12-3 | 1/22/2009, 12:57 pm EST

never liked stern. always liked artie. hope it works out for him.

BEETLEJUICE | 1/22/2009, 12:57 pm EST

who? me?

Grandma Caprio | 1/22/2009, 1:03 pm EST

Artie Immma rollin ova in my newa grave you fatta disgustina slob

BENJY | 1/22/2009, 1:05 pm EST

vanessa, take that back!!!

Surly Truck Driver | 1/22/2009, 1:09 pm EST

He stinks, and I don’t like him!

sam kinison | 1/22/2009, 1:09 pm EST

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! !!!!!

Boston | 1/22/2009, 1:11 pm EST

Artie wants to compare himself and his life to John Belushi. Artie is no Belushi. He’s hardly funny. Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments but who doesn’t? I received his “It’s the Whiskey Talking” DVD as a gift and, honestly, I didn’t laugh one time. He’s just not funny. The ONLY reason his career is what it is today is because of his exposure on the Stern Show. I know it, you know it, and Artie knows it. Artie, fuck off. Just die already. Your life drama is boring everyone. Go away.

George Bush | 1/22/2009, 1:15 pm EST

Hey Artie…
I have some change left over from my 8 year spending spree…What’s your candy dealer’s phone number???

Grandma Caprio | 1/22/2009, 1:28 pm EST

Hey-a youz-a guys-a stoppa Making-a fun of my Artie. Whereza Daner to hold-a my Artie??

cw detroit | 1/22/2009, 1:30 pm EST

fat fuck that is a manic cry baby because his daddy died. whaaaa.

Artie's Diseased Brain | 1/22/2009, 1:34 pm EST

How the fuck do you think it feels like to live in this giant fat pasta eating machine of a body called Artie? I want out! Somebody help me! I am sick of being stoned, drunk and having to watch this baby gorilla consume half to the world’s wheat crop in a single seating. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhh

Richard Prior | 1/22/2009, 1:35 pm EST

Artie,

See you soon.

Richard Prior

Dana | 1/22/2009, 1:38 pm EST

Artie is no fireman

Chris Tucker | 1/22/2009, 1:41 pm EST

Then what?

20 Pushups Away | 1/22/2009, 1:42 pm EST

Still waitin’ Art…

Crazy Alice | 1/22/2009, 1:44 pm EST

Shiny day, I thought. Why not have a shiny car to go with my shiny mood? So I decided to wash my car. Thanks Artie, you make my day.

Hank The Angry Dwarf | 1/22/2009, 1:47 pm EST

Hey Artie, I got some hot hookers here Buddy, and the drugs are free. Kiss Sterns ass for the last time and get it over with. It’s getting OLD.

Kimba | 1/22/2009, 1:48 pm EST

Artie remember that time I kissed you and shocked everyone cuz it was so akward. I bet I can eat twenty cheeseburgers in 1 sitting just like you baby!

Kenny Curvecock | 1/22/2009, 1:48 pm EST

Hey now! Nice to see some familiar faces posting here. Remember guys to only post your funniest stuff. We don’t want the people here at the Rolling Stones thinking all Stern fans are retards. Who was better Rodger D or Robert P? One to mull over.

eddie the produce guy | 1/22/2009, 1:49 pm EST

artie is the man!!!! dont hate on the legend.

Gregg Henson | 1/22/2009, 1:49 pm EST

Artie is just a junkie. anytime he says anything I just say, “whatever.”

tim meadows | 1/22/2009, 1:50 pm EST

Vanessa Grigoriadis sucks

Artie's Dad | 1/22/2009, 1:59 pm EST

Artie! I am coming down now, hold the ladder until papa gets down……Artie? Youuuuuuuuuuuuuufatttttttttttt ttttbastarddddddddddaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mutt's Wife, Kim | 1/22/2009, 2:07 pm EST

Artie when me and Mutty went to your last show we laughed so much. i”ve gone through two pounds of raw bacon since lunch

Benjy | 1/22/2009, 2:12 pm EST

Lucas Dell’abate is a good person!!

And so is Artie Lange.

Billy Crystal | 1/22/2009, 2:12 pm EST

that’s just not funny, it not fun.

Don Rickles | 1/22/2009, 2:18 pm EST

Look at you! You look like a baby gorilla!

SternFan100 | 1/22/2009, 2:23 pm EST

i dont feel bad for artie. my wife is a lot fatter than he is

A&E | 1/22/2009, 2:23 pm EST

Artie sorry to inform you we have decided to cancel your interview on dead comedians. We will now just wait until you OD on heroin or opiates and do the show on you. We will be asking Dane Cook or Kevin James to comment on your career.

italian americans | 1/22/2009, 2:50 pm EST

She can say what she wants about Artie,but she’ll never have that kind of fame or popularity.In the end she’s still a lonely mediocre writer.

Average frustrated Stern fan | 1/22/2009, 2:54 pm EST

Been listening regularly since 1/9/06 – Lange has made me laugh maybe THREE times…pathetic.

fakename311 | 1/22/2009, 3:09 pm EST

So… this is a popular article.

smartalec | 1/22/2009, 3:17 pm EST

billy crystal….

Great Stern reference, dude!

Artie's heroin dealer | 1/22/2009, 3:18 pm EST

What’s with all this negativity, artie’s a great guy! He even let me edit his movie “Beer League.”

John Belushi | 1/22/2009, 3:22 pm EST

Artie,

Your not me.

Signed, John.

moses83 | 1/22/2009, 3:27 pm EST

I want to say that his book was a very fun read. But yeah some of the comparisons go a little far. Artie is Artie

Axl Rose | 1/22/2009, 3:28 pm EST

Babba Booey! Babba Booey!

joey joe joe shabadoo | 1/22/2009, 3:29 pm EST

i have not read the article (or heard artie’s comments about it yet), but vanessa’s comments in this blog post are condescending as hell. and saying that artie has a daddy complex with howard and that this is some key part of his personality, is flat out wrong. what a dumb, mediocre bitch.

k.c. hiding his wallet | 1/22/2009, 3:49 pm EST

nice pin

Sal | 1/22/2009, 4:18 pm EST

Maybe Artie’s upset that I banged his sister

Beetlejuice | 1/22/2009, 4:23 pm EST

hey I got about 100 Arties. They alright. I got about thousand of them, just last year.

PaulSCanada | 1/22/2009, 4:28 pm EST

Artie is a junkie pant-load. Waah! Between him and Quivers, the Stern show is spiraling downward like a toilet flushing.

PaulSCanada | 1/22/2009, 4:33 pm EST

Whatever.
Have another cupcake.
Your mama must be so proud.

Gary's Paycheck | 1/22/2009, 4:43 pm EST

Artie’s a mess,I can tell you, I once spent a week in his pocket.

David | 1/22/2009, 4:45 pm EST

I love Artie. I think the RS reporter does sound like a snob. What, a guy can’t leave records out in his apartment? Lange LOVES Springstein. Is it so outrageous he would have these laying around his apartment?? Give me a break and get a life.

Baby Gorilla | 1/22/2009, 4:46 pm EST

Artie is a LEGEND

margo | 1/22/2009, 4:47 pm EST

I have listened to Stern for 14 years and Artie is a great addition. Somehow, though, he manages to get everyone around him to baby him and try to take care of him. He is a grown man who cannot take care of himself, and, yes an addict. I hope every day that he gets help but if I’m honest with myself, I know he will not. Especially after reading his book. It’s a shame because I think he is talented.

Hoochie King | 1/22/2009, 4:52 pm EST

My site is where artie lange comes to post. He hates the ess eff enz because muttdawg and sir lancelot ivan ban people from telling it the way it is. they share the heroin with artie.

Mitch hedburg | 1/22/2009, 4:53 pm EST

please don’t talk about me fatso

THE EDGE | 1/22/2009, 4:53 pm EST

U2 Rulz!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracey | 1/22/2009, 4:56 pm EST

Artie you wannabe

Benhag n Badfunn | 1/22/2009, 4:59 pm EST

drug are the best artie, we are with you. why do you think i have such big nostrils? the better to shove the heroin up with. now that badfunn cant do anything (he has a straw in his dick) i can do heroin with you and post on all the boards. look at me, i am BENHAG

Hawaiian Punch | 1/22/2009, 5:00 pm EST

Our best customer

John K | 1/22/2009, 5:01 pm EST

I’ve had enough of Artie Lange on the Stern Show, which has become “The Artie Chronicles”

memo to Artie: heroin addicts aren’t funny. Jokes they make when doped on heroin or subutext aren’t funny. And no, “brainy” chicks won’t do you because… heroin addicts aren’t fun.

Stern is an awfully loyal man, but it’s time to cut Artie loose. He’s ruining the show. Let him go and fix his life.

hoochking s4gold | 1/22/2009, 5:01 pm EST

we love you artie, you are the man. dont worry about the heroin bro i use as well..

popGeezer | 1/22/2009, 5:02 pm EST

There are a lotta laughs in all these comments. Shows how funny the HS show is, and how influential it is on its listeners.

Now is the serious time. Lange is likely doomed, nobody can make him do anything he doesn’t wanna. The company and the show aren’t going to draw a line in the sand. But I, too, am getting tired of the subject on the show every day. There is an upside to how the topic of Artie does set everyone against each other, and it appears to have cut down on Richard & Sal’s in-studio time.

$500 HOOKER | 1/22/2009, 5:02 pm EST

HOWARD AND ARTIE ARE GODS GIFT TO COMEDY

BABA BOOEY TO ALL

Peter Yang | 1/22/2009, 5:13 pm EST

Aaaaaaaahh my eyes!

Steve Langford | 1/22/2009, 5:43 pm EST

Sources tell Howard 100 News that rotund comic Artie Lange was found dead today in a Wilmington, Delaware alley. According to police, the Stern show comic was found with 18 cupcakes lodged in his throat, and a heroin needle sticking out of his eyeball. More to come on the grotesque end of Artie Lange.

Alec Baldwin | 1/22/2009, 5:46 pm EST

I’m tired of playing this game with you. You have insulted me for the last time. You don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being! You have humiliated me for the last time with this. I’m gonna fly out and let you know how angry I am. You have made me feel like a fool over and over again!

And you would never do this to your mother!

I am gonna get on a plane, come out for the day, and I’m gonna let everyone know what a little pig you are, Artie!

Stern Listener | 1/22/2009, 5:52 pm EST

My Rolling Stone article exposes how f%^ked up I am…WAAAAAAAHHH!!

Mutt | 1/22/2009, 5:53 pm EST

sternfan100 is right. 42d is much fatter than artie.

truth | 1/22/2009, 5:58 pm EST

artie is a HACK

Mutt's Wife.. Kim | 1/22/2009, 6:00 pm EST

artie: i am so hungry and nervous all the time

Arties Dad | 1/22/2009, 6:05 pm EST

This Article is horrible. My son is a great kid. He may be a fat junkie but I still love the kid to death.

Oh and Artie, thanks for holding that ladder for me.

Mr. Warmth | 1/22/2009, 6:10 pm EST

you big tub of lard, Baskin Robbins called and said that you ate them down to 5 flavors

Pasta | 1/22/2009, 6:12 pm EST

If Artie eats me he will live ooooh 5 minutes longer if he doesn’t take more of that H. Oh A-Artie eata the pasta it’s goodah for you!! That nasty heroin isn’t good for you. And NO you are NOT John Belushi. Even if you die you will NEVER be as good as Belushi. Belushi dead is funnier than an alive Artie.

Stern fan | 1/22/2009, 6:24 pm EST

Artie we are getting sick of you! You piss on every one and treat all of your old comic friends and co workers like you are a condesending snob. Shame to waste all of the money you have made on such a self centered ass hole. Just quit the Stern show and make way for someone who deserves it. I hate you now. I use to like you>>

Stu Pidasso | 1/22/2009, 6:26 pm EST

Man, her rebuttal is right on! Artie is an attention whore and his whole act is tiring–You can tell the whole staff is turning against him–Artie is the “Sammy Hagar” of the stern show–Get it together junkie! Bring back Jackie!!

Ned's Odor | 1/22/2009, 6:35 pm EST

Look, Artie is funny, Stern is great, and Bubba is the man. But is SiriusXM raises their rates in March, and charges for internet feed as reported…they’ll loose me as a subscriber

Jackson Dell'Abate | 1/22/2009, 6:37 pm EST

Jackson Dell’Abate!!!!!! Jackson Dell’Abate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey Boots | 1/22/2009, 6:37 pm EST

I’m excitedly hoping to see him dead before the end of his Sirius contract. Hopefully even this year…
I’m waay tired of his fake stories and whereas he’s very funny indeed, he’s by no means unique and his stories get more unbelievable and irrelevant every week; his greatest bit will be his death, and his cue is already calling…

Jackson Dell'Abate | 1/22/2009, 6:37 pm EST

Jackson Dell’Abate!!!!!! Jackson Dell’Abate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Ivan | 1/22/2009, 6:40 pm EST

Artie Lange is a Very Important Person in my life and I’d burn all of your accounts just to have his muff on my face. Make no mistake folks.

Stop this shit now.

Joaquin Phoenix | 1/22/2009, 6:42 pm EST

MC Harelip in the house.

Stern's six inch schlong | 1/22/2009, 6:58 pm EST

Arties the fucking man. He never came late and always showered me with golden radio. He’s such a nice lovable gracious teddy bear that i would love to rub inbetween the crack of his ass. He’s obviously hung so over to the left so leave him the fuck alone and dont spit all over his big blogs. Arties a rawscully clit of a man and doesn’t deserve such harsh rashfull language. ARTIE i want to cum on your tits love you man! and your big hairless shitless asscrack too!

Rodney A Chance | 1/22/2009, 7:05 pm EST

Which’ll die first, Sirius/XM or Artie?

Rex Oedipus | 1/22/2009, 7:05 pm EST

Ms. Grigoriadis is right on. Artie wants Howard to love him. But the funny thing is, Howard doesn’t. If Howard really loved Artie, he would tell Artie to get clean or lose his job. Instead, Howard said he doesn’t care what Artie does as long as he comes to work. Hey, Artie, Howard doesn’t care about you. So, go ahead and die already.

Dominic Barbera | 1/22/2009, 7:15 pm EST

Mayday, mayday, Artie is a drug using fruit and my pants are missing!

Rusty | 1/22/2009, 7:16 pm EST

Why would anyone buy or read Artie’s book of lies? Does anyone believe his stories–All made-up, sorry suckers!

Dana | 1/22/2009, 7:18 pm EST

Artie has a small dick.

Rev Bob Levy | 1/22/2009, 7:31 pm EST

HACK! Everyone has your number, LOSER! ha ha ha Listening to the History of Stern makes me yearn for a real talented comedian, bring back the JOKEMAN!

Anonymous | 1/22/2009, 7:36 pm EST

Nursegrl isn’t going to like this article one bit!! DRUGS ARE BAD and everybody who does them are HORRIBLE people!!!

Mickey Mantle's Liver | 1/22/2009, 7:37 pm EST

Ay least you’re not a Mets fan! You got that goin’ for you.

anfkid | 1/22/2009, 7:41 pm EST

Everyone knows that I rimmed Artie for years. Until now. Now is the time for Loosh to take over, just like Artie took over for Jackie.

Tim Sabean | 1/22/2009, 7:46 pm EST

They’re created by man they can be solved by man.

loraluvsartie | 1/22/2009, 7:50 pm EST

well listen since i am his true and really only love, i say that the heroin that he has done has been for me to get with him and away from retarrd. even my lesbian daughter agrees with me. if it wasnt for my fling that i had a few months ago i never would have known artie for the fat man that he is. heroin brought us together so everyone get off his cawk now. :pie:

Sterns wittle six inch schlong | 1/22/2009, 7:50 pm EST

seriously artie love you man

chris the commy

Doctor_Ivan | 1/22/2009, 7:55 pm EST

[b][i][center]I will ban the bunch of you. I wont like it but you know the rules people. Get in line please, Artie is a VIP thank you and good night.[/b][/i][/center]
(inser t graphic of VIP’s are to be respected)

a poorly done graphic at that.

Dana | 1/22/2009, 7:58 pm EST

why did i leave him? I’m such a fool.

Shamela the fake attorney | 1/22/2009, 8:01 pm EST

As you know Artie I am an attorney. I think that Jackie was better than you are but if by chance you get arrested I will be happy to represent you.
Do you know where I can get a sex change? Cawk is bothering me

Grandma Caprio | 1/22/2009, 8:08 pm EST

can i taste your joooose?

Gov. McGreevey | 1/22/2009, 8:08 pm EST

And I thought I was the worst thing that ever came from NJ.

Pssst: Artie! Call me! I like big boys!

Mutts Wife...Kim | 1/22/2009, 8:08 pm EST

In the right light I resemble Chris Farley

Robert | 1/22/2009, 8:10 pm EST

Artie is king! All you fn idiots out there wishing him dead have some serious problems. Anyone that thinks Jackie the strokeman is better has to be doing more drugs than Artie.
Some people must not listen to the show–if you did you would know he talked about leaving albums out because he liked the covers on them.
Yes people do owe him money because he is generous. How many of you have handed thousads of dollars to a co worker?
Artie is a human like anyone else so unless you are perfect go f yourselves.
Also anyone who wishes Artie dead-I wish cancer upon you!

Benji Bronk | 1/22/2009, 8:12 pm EST

Sanjayaaaaaaaaa!

Eric the Midget | 1/22/2009, 8:15 pm EST

Eh… Artie, I’m jealous of you. I want Stern to give me just as much love and attention as he gives you.

Eh, uh, redrum…

Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf | 1/22/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Hey Artie,

Forget the heroin and stick with the booze. TRUST ME, you’ll live longer!

High Pitch Eric | 1/22/2009, 8:20 pm EST

Who’s High PItch? I’m Artie Lange.

Hi daddy!

Ted Kennedy | 1/22/2009, 8:26 pm EST

Era Era Artie lets go on a bender!!

$800 Bottle of Wine | 1/22/2009, 8:39 pm EST

Drink me Artie. Booze is ok. You can stay away from the heroin and have a great time with me. It’s even easy to drink me while wearing a pig costume.

Itza Tool Late | 1/22/2009, 8:45 pm EST

Artie,
So sad, so sorry! Your sister and mother will feel pain. You are a very selfish bastard!

Lisa G | 1/22/2009, 8:46 pm EST

Artie,

You really should move in with me for a few weeks or a year. We work the same hours, and I think you would behave if you had a reporter watching your every move. You thrive on the attention to your actions.

We would have to share the same bed, but this reporter is up for the strictly platonic relationship.

Linda Bollea | 1/22/2009, 8:57 pm EST

Artie, call me. I’d love to drag race thru the streets with you missing stop signs and stuff.

Dan Song Parody Welcher | 1/22/2009, 9:00 pm EST

Artie, I’ll pay you back as soon as I get my windfall from Bernie!

Bob Levy | 1/22/2009, 9:02 pm EST

Does anyone know how to get a restraining order agaisnt your own wife?

Shamela | 1/22/2009, 9:04 pm EST

Bob, call me, I’ll make sure Chrissy never stalks you again.

Anonymous | 1/22/2009, 9:07 pm EST

Vanessa Grigoriadis is so smart, but yet she works at Rolling Stone. You and that architect husband of yours lol!

Lange is one of the funniest people in America you are nothing.

Chrissy | 1/22/2009, 9:16 pm EST

Why does my attorney keep telling me my husband is ‘judgement proof?”

ra ra retard | 1/22/2009, 9:16 pm EST

hey both ahties on drugs again

jimmy | 1/22/2009, 9:19 pm EST

i love you artie hope you read this and know i wish the best for you..Hang in there brother

Yucko Ono | 1/22/2009, 9:21 pm EST

Chrissy, call me, I have been schooled in the law of marriage annulment.

Voice of Reason | 1/22/2009, 9:56 pm EST

Artie is a functioning drug addict and Howard indicates that Artie’s job is safe as long as he performs (most of the time). Howard is an enabler. Fire him Howard!! Maybe it will wake him up!

1-12 Club Member | 1/22/2009, 9:56 pm EST

coming from a class of 65 graduate of the 1/12 club (either you know or you don’t)I have a similar prospective as to HOW howard thinks…and where howard is is EXACTLY what i saw on a post below…artie’s biggest bit is going to be death unless he gets his shit together…and there is NOTHING howard can or will or should do about it…believe me when he says he’s done with arties bullshit…artie is a BIT right now and if YOU (that’s right artie… i know goddamn well you are reading this) don’t see that then i truly feel bad for you…get your shit together…smoke some pot and do a lil’ blow every now and then but for the love of “god” GET OFF THE JUNK!!!!!

Don Buchenwald | 1/22/2009, 10:01 pm EST

GET that loser Shuli off of Jay’s show!!!!

Death of Artie | 1/22/2009, 10:09 pm EST

Every comedian with a prior or current drug problem from Chris Rock to Richard Lewis has gone on the show and stated that Artie is killing himself. Howard was offended that he was accused of making it easy for Artie to continue his drug habit. What is the difference in the way movie studios handled Chris Farley and the way Howard is now handling Artie?

Underdog | 1/22/2009, 10:14 pm EST

Well if this story doesn’t win Dana back, nothing will. P.S. Artie, don’t forget Teddy in your will.

The Grim Reaper | 1/22/2009, 10:16 pm EST

Howard is coming around to that. Slowly.

ERIC THE BAGGER | 1/22/2009, 10:35 pm EST

NO

god bless clef palet | 1/22/2009, 10:36 pm EST

Howard is so cheap. He can buy an $800 bottle of wine every second for the next 500 years and still have 10 cents…

god bless clef palet | 1/22/2009, 10:39 pm EST

The show has been good this week.

Has Been Sanjaya
Has Been from LFO, Rich Cronin
and Has Been Joan Rivers.

god's voice | 1/22/2009, 10:40 pm EST

when ( not if ) artie shits the bed – blood on your hands howard, blood on your hands.

but: a&e’s ‘intervention’ is always looking for train wrecks!!

Adam Sandler | 1/22/2009, 10:42 pm EST

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah¡­¡­. happy hanukka!

anon | 1/22/2009, 10:58 pm EST

way to make reference to it, Rolling Stone, but not even post the original article

J Cleveland | 1/22/2009, 11:00 pm EST

FUCK YOU GUYS! The guy is funny. Yeah, he is fucked up but most great comedians are. And to anybody who made fun of his dad’s death, may your parents die in a horrible fire while a donkey sneaks into your bedroom at night and fucks you right in the face. Good luck Artie, get your shit together you funny mother-fucker!

Hope This | 1/22/2009, 11:01 pm EST

Sold lots of copies of your dying magazine.

Rolling Stone is a bad parody of what it once was.

hear me,, | 1/22/2009, 11:08 pm EST

I would like to say goodbye. Artie, it was really great. But, since you will die before Feb 1,2009, I just wanted to say goodbye. It was really great.

CAL

Artie's Testicles | 1/22/2009, 11:14 pm EST

Help me, I’m suffocating!!

Sinistar | 1/22/2009, 11:27 pm EST

I’m here to tell you that heroin is good for you. I have been feeding my wife heroin to get her past the the fact that she is dying and cheated on me. I know this will help her in the long run. Artie you are the man bro, cheers. Let’s get together soon bro

Jon Hein | 1/22/2009, 11:40 pm EST

Today on ‘The Wrap Up Show’ were gonna take some calls, talk about Robin’s $800 bottle of wine, Eric the Midget going to the Bunny Ranch, Jeff the Drunk sings the blues and of course everything else on today’s Stern Show… but actually we’re gonna ignore all of that, and spend the whole hour talking about Artie’s drug and/or emotional problems.

Artie | 1/23/2009, 1:09 am EST

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I regret revealing the truth to that RS broad. waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

A Goose | 1/23/2009, 1:19 am EST

I hate Oderus

Adam | 1/23/2009, 1:20 am EST

I want to defend Artie here. Honestly, had I had no prior knowledge of who this man was, reading this article would’ve turned me off to him and his comic stylings. But since watching his turn on dirty work when I was 17, to listening to his trials and triumphs on the Stern show, Artie Lange has become someone I strangely care about. He’s a naturally funny, albeit very troubled guy, who anyone and everyone could relate to. And the reason for that is because he wears his life on his sleeve. Yes, he does it w/ a wink and a nod, but he does it. We can slam him and poke at him, call him a poser and what have you. But I came very close to ending my life, and listening to his recent dabbles and reading his own bouts w/ suicide, I’ve been given a second wind. He may be a fucked up comic, but he’s a fucked up comic who’s helped a fucked up fan. Thanks Artie.

Don | 1/23/2009, 1:24 am EST

This is a great piece, I mean who knew Artie Lange was a heroin addict and a fuckin’ mess. Wow, this magazine is innovative and on the cusp of what’s new before it hits the mainstreem. Fuck Hunter S. Thomson; Grigoriadis is the best writer for this magazine… ever.

The Spirit of Truth | 1/23/2009, 2:02 am EST

SHUT yo goddamn ass up!

The Spirit of Truth | 1/23/2009, 2:04 am EST

The devil is a motherfuckin’ liar. So you know I ain’t worried, biotch! Stupid bitch.

Howard Who? | 1/23/2009, 2:44 am EST

Howard Who? People still listen to Satellite radio? This time next year, Lang will be dead and stern will be retired. Land knows it, that’s why he’s still a junkie. Pathetic.

True O & A Fan For Real | 1/23/2009, 2:45 am EST

HOO! HOO! I invented fat slobs dying over heroin overdoses! Tell em PUBE!

ONA PARTY ROCK

Jake | 1/23/2009, 2:54 am EST

All real Howard fans know Artie has helped ruin the show. I have nothing against Artie personally, but his personal life isn’t that interesting to me.

And to these simpletons saying, “Howard Who?” Howard still gets more listeners than Letterman or Leno.

Jake | 1/23/2009, 2:56 am EST

In addition, it’s a relief this article was actually honest and thus of course was purely offensive to a con artist like Artie.

Jackie the Jokeman | 1/23/2009, 3:07 am EST

HEE HEE HEE HEE (WEIRD UNHUMAN NOISE) HEE!

IMUS | 1/23/2009, 3:12 am EST

Artie Lange gonna eat your high school! ZOOOOOOOOP!

Grandma Caprio | 1/23/2009, 3:57 am EST

Dats a spicey meatball.

ALLISON STEELE | 1/23/2009, 6:48 am EST

Artie my sweet boy, I personally know what you have gone through! yes this really ALLISON STEELE please listen ,I know everyone is on your back right now, i started using opiates (lortab,ox ycodo ne,me thado ne,al l prescriptions from my doctor)I finally went to rehab! and guess what? they put me on subutex and i still would fall off the wagon and crave opiates so we tried suboxsone it is alot like subutex AND I SWEAR TO GOD!no cravings and been sober w/suboxsone for 4 years

ALLISON STEELE | 1/23/2009, 7:15 am EST

yes i know i might have to take the suboxsone the rest of my life!and i’m fine with that,addiction is a diease no matter what people say.i will go to your actual web site and give you my #and e-mail address to chat.i did rehab in 3 days in a awesome place.IN OK.and after i got on suboxsone i lost 30lbs. in 1 1/2 month. I really love you no matter what but i smoke weeed still!you will be a AWESOME FATHER someday,i know thats a dream of yours and”you can do it”!p.s tell your friends to fuck off not howard though!!kiss and hug!nonAddicts dont get it they think its mind over matter and thats bullshit!ive been down the same road baby!i get it and i think i can help if you want it,and i know u wanna be kind of clean and healthy

Hot Florida Whore | 1/23/2009, 9:17 am EST

Artie could you tell Bob Levy thanks for giving me a “ride home” from his show in Boca? tia :giggle:

Choose Life. | 1/23/2009, 9:52 am EST

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?

I want it inside of me | 1/23/2009, 10:20 am EST

Steve Lanford’s Monster Fat Pen!s

To all the Howard haters... | 1/23/2009, 10:21 am EST

still waitin on the FIRST BOB & TOM article …

Not a Rolling Stone reader... | 1/23/2009, 12:05 pm EST

But I did pick it up just for this article.

In Artie’s defense, Vanessa does come off as the typical N.Y. elitist.

It really must infuriate these writers to know that Artie Lange, of all people, made it to the top of the best seller list.

Greg Fitzsimmons | 1/23/2009, 12:11 pm EST

Hey Artie, tell us the joke about the “N” word while playing basketball! Artie was funny for about 5 minutes back in 2004…

Al | 1/23/2009, 12:14 pm EST

How old are these people leaving these insane comments?

As a Howard fan since 1986, I agree with Grigoriadis’ assessment and above comments.

Artie is an addict, sometimes gets out of control, fearful of facing his inner demons and has bouncing off his almost bottom for years.

While Artie may be a big boy, his inner child is still crying out because of the guilt he carries, and that will be his ultimate undoing.

Greg Fitzsimmons | 1/23/2009, 12:15 pm EST

I used to find Artie witty and somewhat charming. Now he’s just gross; physically, mentally gross. When was the last time he offered something original that didn’t have to do with falling asleep, heroin, subutex, etc…
bring on the next comic to fill Jackie’s chair.

John Belushi | 1/23/2009, 12:20 pm EST

Somebody tell this moron that he is nothing like me. I was talented! I worked hard, didn’t cry about it, and did my drugs in private. Too bad some groupie skank gave me too much of a speedball, otherwise I’d still be around. Artie, give it up. Cursing a lot in your act and crying about your drug habit is not comdedy.

Craig H | 1/23/2009, 12:20 pm EST

Artie is doing his own thing. His boss, Howard, has no problem with his actions. Him being an addict is hurting nobody but himself, and it is unfortunate that his sister and mother have to stand by and watch as he kills himself, but that is Artie’s option. He kills on Howard, although I do agree that he would be better without being messed up every morning. That day or two after the New Year when he was clean was Artie at his best. Now that he is obviously back on drugs, he is still funny, but does not have enough energy to keep it up for the entire 4-5 hour show. Artie is great for the show, but the show will go on without him if for some reason he has to leave. Howard also does not really care because he is not thinking long term. His contract is almost up, and why cause such drama by getting rid of Artie. Artie puts his entire life on the air for the fans entertainment. It is ok to criticize him, but also appreciate the sacrifices he makes for the Howard Stern Show.

TurdBurglar | 1/23/2009, 12:21 pm EST

Hey now,

Thanks Rolling Stone for I enjoyed the entertaining, well written article and love the Stern show (esp the Artie years). Now I am off to look at porno, thinking of getting the poison out to Tory Lane.

Slow Joe | 1/23/2009, 12:36 pm EST

Artie is going to die this year, there is only one thing that can save him…Dana, get rid of the damn dog already!

98.6 | 1/23/2009, 12:36 pm EST

Does anyone else feel like we are witnessing The Last Days of Artie Lange?

I do. It feels like everything is coming to a head.

PaulSCanada | 1/23/2009, 12:44 pm EST

Heroin is Arties “emotional friend”. Whatever. Douche.

b ion Miami | 1/23/2009, 12:44 pm EST

Vanessa Grigoriadis does come off like an an “uppity bitch”

Craig H | 1/23/2009, 12:53 pm EST

There were comments below about Artie never changing his stand up act. That is just a lie. I have seen Artie multiple times live, and his act is always changing. I mean, many of the topics will obviously be similar, but don’t dis-respect Artie’s livelihood by claiming he doesn’t come up with original, fresh stand up material. It might be a struggle for Artie to actually get on the stage, but once he is there, the guy is flat out funny.

Thurman Munson | 1/23/2009, 12:59 pm EST

We will finally meet soon!

Todd Clem | 1/23/2009, 1:06 pm EST

WHY ISN’T THIS ARTICLE ABOUT ME!??!? ME!! ME!!!! ME!!!

anti-socialite | 1/23/2009, 1:10 pm EST

howard stern is not entertaining and everyone who thinks he is will burn.

Holly | 1/23/2009, 1:13 pm EST

Being an Italian-American I was also appalled by the “good italian family” comment in the article. The comment shows a complete lack of creativity and a dive into stale stereotypes. I wish they had assigned anybody else to write the article. She did come across as completely holier than thou. It is a shame how much “Rolling Stone” has changed for the worse.

Mutt | 1/23/2009, 1:15 pm EST

hi Guys this article is great i’m reading it at work while i’m counting my supporter monies that i should be spending on fixing the shitty site. p.s. my wife is 300lbs and i’m drunk right now

JD Harmeyer | 1/23/2009, 1:17 pm EST

it’s like, you, I, uh, I don’t know, whatever. jeez!

whoop! whoop!

Mutt | 1/23/2009, 1:19 pm EST

yeah i’m still drunk this article rules. counting my monies suckas

Js | 1/23/2009, 1:31 pm EST

Damn, I’ve been listening to this show a long time, because I knew every single reference that was written…

By the way, I have Artie in my Dead Pool for this year…

ARTIE LANG
1967-2009

atie lange | 1/23/2009, 1:50 pm EST

waaaaaaaaaaaah

Tim Sabian | 1/23/2009, 2:13 pm EST

SIRIUS IS RAISING THEIR PRICES IN MARCH…ONCE THEY GET MORE OF YOUR MONEY, THEY WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS. DON’T FALL FOR IT. CANCEL NOW!!!!!!

Ashley Stern | 1/23/2009, 2:17 pm EST

My new Daddy isn’t cheap like the old one.

mark the tax man | 1/23/2009, 2:51 pm EST

It is very sad for Artie. He seems like a nice guy, but he is too involved in trying to receive attention. He was funner way back when he started. If he lives, he will go back to clubs and we can all see him for a lot less money. He needs to kick the junk, or he will die this year. Heroin for a rich guy with no self imposed limits is simply too much.

Joey Boots | 1/23/2009, 2:52 pm EST

I confess. Timmy asked to be given away.

dom | 1/23/2009, 2:54 pm EST

im on fire

Ashley Madison | 1/23/2009, 2:57 pm EST

Beth just renewed for two years.

KJ | 1/23/2009, 3:00 pm EST

Artie is a great man and very funny. Its sad that he is having trouble dealing with his inner demons. I’m glad all the shit talkers on this site are so high and mighty. How many of you are drug addicts? Its not easy dealing with that shit. If it were we would all be walking around stoned out of our heads on smack all weekend and then showing up to work on time on Monday. Best of luck to you Artie! And to anyone who thinks the show won’t be around for the next 2 years you can all suck a camels cock. In closing, Vanessa Grigoriadis is an uppity BITCH. FUCK OFF

Sirius Rules | 1/23/2009, 3:03 pm EST

All you haters out there that are still listening to free/boring/cencored radio, eat my ass.

Alcoholics Anonymous | 1/23/2009, 3:21 pm EST

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

KC Armstron | 1/23/2009, 3:28 pm EST

Artie, it’s time to serenade the meat.

Tracy Morgan | 1/23/2009, 3:30 pm EST

GACK! This is YOUR day!

Nedleigh Mandingo III | 1/23/2009, 3:44 pm EST

Lets Party you Baby Gorilla
waaaaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaah

loralluvsartie | 1/23/2009, 4:03 pm EST

listen artie you know i love you. my ghey daughter loves you and understands addiction better than you know. my ex is an addict who is currently institutionalized and will most likely remain there forever. if you want to go to NA with me i will help you make that transition. my boyfriend tarrd goes also. even a jew can become an addict artie. please stay strong my friend. heroin, even shared with me isnt a good thing. love me long time big boy.

Bubba the Love Sponge | 1/23/2009, 4:06 pm EST

SHUT UP IT ALL ABOUT ME!!! ME
SAY IT ME!!!!

Narcotics Anonymous | 1/23/2009, 4:11 pm EST

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

alice | 1/23/2009, 4:30 pm EST

Artie i love you. please don’t snort that next line and light that next ciggartte. Okay go ahead pour the jack, not to much coke. Hey enjoy your life. Whatever it takes. Just remember everything has a cost and it often the cost isn’t money. Peace

alice | 1/23/2009, 4:30 pm EST

Artie i love you. please don’t snort that next line and light that next ciggartte. Okay go ahead pour the jack, not to much coke. Hey enjoy your life. Whatever it takes. Just remember everything has a cost and it often the cost isn’t money. Peace

Lucy Lopez... | 1/23/2009, 4:30 pm EST

It’s so tempting to leave a comment like “wahh artie wahh,” BUT you know what…I’m NOT. I can’t believe how much I care for some guy I don’t even know. I’ve been listening to the HOWARD STERN since I was 16 years old. I feel like they are family to me. They inspired my career choice. Then Artie comes along, and you can’t help but fall in love with him and his bullshit and along comes an RS writer and points out the truth. I hate her for it. She made fun of OUR fat, dysfunctional bff, but she’s right. I don’t want Artie to die. I hate him for using. I hate how his name somehow creeps into my conversations. I hate how he doesn’t realize his STERN family wants the best for him and he shits on all the opportunities Howard has thrown at him. Then again…Howard knew we would feel like this about him. He knew we would tune in everyday to see if Artie is dead or alive. Please Artie..if you are reading this..STOP. Get help.
You’re disgruntled radio sweetheart,
Lucy Lopez.

Mikey | 1/23/2009, 4:35 pm EST

Since when did honestly observing a man become uppity and elitist? Artie fans are so thin-skinned — just like their hero. As for the Italian comment, Artie makes a living insulting ethnic groups and gays. More hypocrisy from the 40 year old baby!

jb | 1/23/2009, 4:44 pm EST

aaarfie brewkfast.

Chrissy | 1/23/2009, 4:59 pm EST

Can someone tell Bob Levy to call me? We communicate exlusively by internet now. Oh, and tell him I’m pregnant!

Bob Levy | 1/23/2009, 5:01 pm EST

Chrissy, pick up your phone, Dr. Roe and Dr. Wade are calling.

Alimony Arrears | 1/23/2009, 5:06 pm EST

Can someone remind Bob Levy that we have a heavy date tomorrow?

IRS | 1/23/2009, 5:08 pm EST

Sorry, I have first dibs on Bob Levy.

Dan the SPM | 1/23/2009, 5:13 pm EST

Bob, can I borrow $7,500? You can keep my knife as security.

ArtieLangeDeathwatch.com | 1/23/2009, 6:19 pm EST

I stopped updating my site two years ago. I can’t believe the fat fuck is still alive.

Randy Fresco | 1/23/2009, 6:40 pm EST

Artie – kudos to you for being honest about your bad habits.

I used to think that Stern should bring back Jackie Martling. But now I much prefer Artie. Artie is funnier and more social than Jackie ev er was.

Mark Mywurds | 1/23/2009, 6:50 pm EST

Artie will be dead before Monday. Guaranteed! RIP tubby

Howard Stern | 1/23/2009, 7:15 pm EST

I love you Artie and want the best for you but you have to make the choice to go to rehab with out anyone making you go. it’s your life don’t throw it away.

Stern Fan Network | 1/23/2009, 7:17 pm EST

Howard stern sucks!

Neal | 1/23/2009, 7:51 pm EST

Wow. Look how many comments this got. Fascinating. I don’t listen to Stern that much, but he sure is smart to have Artie and his open drug drama danger life part of the show. so good.

Heroin and booze. sweet combo. Dangerous surely. but… most of the best stuff is dangerous.

cheers

neaL Mc | 1/23/2009, 7:55 pm EST

This Artie saga is brilliant from the King Of All Media.

I’m not the biggest Stern or Artie fan, but I like the way they are putting this drug thing in thier show.

Drugs are a huge part of life, and this saga is great.

Heroin and booze eh?
nice Artie

rock on

Artie Fan #1 | 1/23/2009, 8:05 pm EST

F all you haters! Artie is the true King Of All Media,,,TV,Film,Radio and Books,,,

Crackhead Bob | 1/23/2009, 8:12 pm EST

Darty,

Do are dot dunny! Shut de duck up and doe away!!!!

Dob

marie | 1/23/2009, 8:12 pm EST

I hope you can help yourself, Artie!

Mac | 1/23/2009, 8:31 pm EST

I think it’s good to get high alone, and then get some work done. I think doing the whole “Right On” thing, the whole, you know, snorting coke off some whore’s vagina is MUCH worse than Artie’s so-called “scary” way of using drugs. And I don’t know what the author means by “depression.”

Howard listener | 1/23/2009, 8:33 pm EST

Anything else Robyn
Anything else robyn
Is that it robyn
Anything else robyn
Is that it robyn
Anything else robyn

Get back to your roots howard,
We deserve moe than rushed news stories
And fake stories about drugs from an italian
Wanabee who thinks he the great john belushi!!! Remember 700 million???

mATTERgOD | 1/23/2009, 8:44 pm EST

Two cents worth…one, America has an archetype for the obese, self-destructive comedian. It goes hand-in-hand with the rock star syndrome.

Two, people underestimate how difficult it is for one to not only kick bad habits, but to kick them when you so closely associate that lifestyle with your success and who you are.

Best of luck, Artie, whichever path you choose.

my bro arte | 1/23/2009, 9:56 pm EST

Arte, can I continue to work on your sirius radio show when my 700 million contract is up? Please!!!

artie's dead dad | 1/23/2009, 10:17 pm EST

come see me boy ! cant you please hurry and screw up your life like i did. dana was too good for you !

Arte Belushi | 1/23/2009, 10:18 pm EST

I deserve respect because:
I am a drug addict
I am a compulsive liar
I am half Italian
I refer to women as broads
I shit the bed
I dress like I’m homeless
I bambuzzle howard into making me famous
I could care less about my mother and sister’s feelings
I have a “shore” house and brag about it
I have a bookie and piss away my money
I constantly look like I need a shower shit and shave!!!
Yo New Jersey Boy!!!

Weegie | 1/24/2009, 3:16 am EST

Artie Lang ? That painfully unfunny fat dude from Stern and Mad TV ? An entire article given to him in RS ???? I don’t get it……….

erik | 1/24/2009, 3:30 am EST

is it just me or does he look like john belushi in animal house in that picture?

ransom. | 1/24/2009, 7:06 am EST

Artie Lange is a fat, unfunny junkie who is in need of serious help. He LOVES this article. You know why? Because it glorifies him as a sad, tortured artist junkie.

So boring. Already been there with Belushi… Farley……countless others. You wanna go agains tthe grain? Wanna be a legend? Then get sober, get skinny and get funny, you fat bastard.

ransom. | 1/24/2009, 7:06 am EST

Artie Lange is a fat, unfunny junkie who is in need of serious help. He LOVES this article. You know why? Because it glorifies him as a sad, tortured artist junkie.

So boring. Already been there with Belushi… Farley……countless others. You wanna go agains tthe grain? Wanna be a legend? Then get sober, get skinny and get funny, you fat bastard.

King of All St.Louis Media | 1/24/2009, 9:06 am EST

Artie is my hero. Art when you come to St.Louis please come and do my show. Now please pass the vicodin & Tylenol 3s!

Artie | 1/24/2009, 10:11 am EST

I’m a lonely/unhappy guy looking to fill a void with drugs, gambling or whatever gives me instant gratification. Sometimes it’s better to feel the rush of gambling or being high than nothing at all.Look, I know people care about me and I love them to but the bottom line is Artie’s gotta do what Artie’s gotta do. I know I’m not in their league but Elvis, Morrison, Belushi they all got it. Life is just too long for some people and if it’s a race I just might get to the finish line faster than some would like. Love you all!

Hank the Peaceful Drawrf | 1/24/2009, 12:44 pm EST

Artie, a bit of advice:

YOU ARE NOT JOHN BELUSHI!!!!!!

OK, now go about your life as Artie Lange!

Spanish Johnny | 1/24/2009, 1:08 pm EST

Dear Artie,

Thanks for making us all cry, the day when Robin Quivers has to weep through her newscast as she reads the story of Artie Lange’s death.

Way to go.

x_x | 1/24/2009, 1:32 pm EST

I can only imagine the odor this creature emits.

Lea M. B. P. | 1/24/2009, 2:02 pm EST

When I was a tween I remember this extremely funny, brilliant actor that OD’d. I always wondered why Belushi was so alone if he was so funny.
If Artie wasn’t so alone he could fight it.
Why are you alone Art?

artie lange | 1/24/2009, 3:56 pm EST

artie lange to the world jesus dont want me yet i got more heroin to sniff

snake | 1/24/2009, 3:58 pm EST

do all good italian families really have saint-moms and scoundrel-dads?

Death | 1/24/2009, 6:06 pm EST

Artie, are we still on for Tuesday?

Artie's Dad | 1/24/2009, 6:14 pm EST

Artie thanks for turning my bed over twice a day, after the accident which you were responsible for. It was good pratice for me turning over in my grave whenever you open your mouth.

Gary | 1/24/2009, 6:34 pm EST

will someone plz remind this over the hill loser that being a junky stopped being cool about 15 years ago? he wants to be a “bad boy” rebel so bad. he cant rely on his “talent” so he has to try very hard to create this “outlaw image” … what a pathetic loser.
Not becuz he’s a junkie – but becuz he thinks its cool to brag about it..change the record fat boy..it’s 2009..youre old. over the hill. unfunny and hopefully on the brink of death..
its obvious he is only trying to impress howard..he wants to be the next sam.

grandma capprio | 1/24/2009, 6:39 pm EST

hey arttie ,I miss you you junky cock sucka i was told you coming soon they ll find you naked and drugged up btw you padre said hello and don’t want to see you up here either i think he said kill your sel slowly and take your time you fatso and you know what s your problems arttie is money and you have a lot of it , thanks to that jew evil whos using you and doing you no gooooood arrivadechi cock sucka

Mojomoon | 1/24/2009, 6:42 pm EST

Wow, I can’t believe the amount of negativity & sheer hate written on this post. I don’t condone what he’s done or continues to do & quite frankly, I really feel sorry for him. Furthermore, we will probably, someday soon hear about his death & he will just be another forgotten “junkie” (as some of you put it). I would like him to get clean & his life together, but you can only lead a horse to water….If you read this Artie, good luck & I truly hope you find the peace you need to get better, stop blaming yourself, & abusing yourself for what happened to your dad.

melvin myers | 1/24/2009, 6:50 pm EST

The day this fat bastard drops dead will be the day I return to listening to Howard. Unless Stern fires him – I cant listen to the show anymore w/ this fake attention seeking baby- talking about drugs all the time.
so stupid man.

Sam | 1/24/2009, 8:33 pm EST

This Gorgaris chick is very low class. She degraded him in more than one way. The Italian thing was horrible. She should be fired. I will never buy another Rolling Stone until she is fired.

To Be Or Not To Be | 1/24/2009, 10:20 pm EST

Some people run for cover, some people choose to fight. Artie is running for cover from life. Women want to marry a fighter, not a quitter.

Sol Rosenberg | 1/24/2009, 11:17 pm EST

Artie is finished. He’s a lying, fat guido.

Loosh | 1/25/2009, 3:40 am EST

Artie Lange is the greatest comedian of all time. Howard Stern was never as funny or as daring as comic genius Artie Lange. Artie gets the girls, money, and says F-U to the liberal media.

While Artie haters post hatred in their blogs, Artie is lighting a cigar lit by a hundy and surrounded by sexy Playmates.

Artie Wins.
Artie Always Wins.

Toronto Lang Fan | 1/25/2009, 9:45 am EST

Anyone who has listened to Artie Lang on Howard Stern, watched his appearances on the The Big Idea, David Lettermen or read his book must surely acknowledge that he is no different than millions of North Americans who suffer from clinical depression. Howard Stern should show some morality, forgo ‘good radio’ and show compassion for his friend.. the press should cease chastising Artie as if he chose to be depressed..Artie…its not a weakness..its a disease..get treatment…get better..make people laff for the right reasons!!!

saltlick | 1/25/2009, 10:46 am EST

Nice pic.Looks like Belushi in ‘81.

Chris Romito | 1/25/2009, 11:15 am EST

Fa, fa, fooey. Rock on Artie.

Hellos | 1/25/2009, 1:23 pm EST

Anyone notice how this article brought on about a 1000 comments. Wild.

gimme a break | 1/25/2009, 2:46 pm EST

you know what the comment said above about artie constantly trying to prove he’s italian is right. it’s a bit much dude. acting offeded by that comment is retarded considering your dad wasnt even italian. I mean having an italian mother doesnt really make you an “italian family”. having an anglo waspy last name must drive him nuts on a daily basis. add some vowels to the end, it may cure your depression.

The Skinny On Artie Lange | 1/25/2009, 3:05 pm EST

The Artie Equation is simple… He’s an addictive guy with no control and access to lots of money. It will all end when his heart gives out, and it will be sooner than later. By the way, while he’s funny on the Stern show, I find his New Joisy persona, throwing around his money and talking shit about anyone with a conscience very tiresome.

TheSlovak | 1/25/2009, 3:12 pm EST

Artie,

” Long May You Run, ” with apologies to Neil Young.

Go Giants! | 1/25/2009, 3:55 pm EST

Stop hatin`!

Arthur Lange is a God!

Tracy Morgan | 1/25/2009, 4:50 pm EST

GLUGGLE GLUGGLE GLUGGLE

Cathy | 1/25/2009, 10:16 pm EST

Artie

I love you! Please take care of yourself and get it together! Don’t blow it.

LoopGuru | 1/25/2009, 10:22 pm EST

Wow. John Belushi looked just like that. About ten minutes after he died.

Death | 1/25/2009, 11:31 pm EST

Aaaaaawww… Sam’s not going to buy any more Rolling Stone’s. Big talk coming from the booger stained fingers of a mouth breather. We don’t want you reading it anyway. Now unbunch your panties and go get a People magazine like you always wanted to anyway.

Jon | 1/26/2009, 1:33 am EST

Couldn’t help comparing Chris Farley’s article in US Report in September 97 (3 months before he died) to this article, scary stuff.
welcometofarleyville.blogspo t.com/2009/01/today-i-received -february-5th-issue-of.html

Branimir | 1/26/2009, 4:07 am EST

Artie you fat fucking piece of shit. Wake UP!!!! You’ve lost all sense of reality. You make a shit load of cash. You get to spend your days with Howard. You’ve got tons of fans. What the fuck more do you want. Get your fat fucking ass to rehab for real before you are DEAD. You WON you fucking idiot. You won the game and now that you got to the promised land you are gonna DIE. Seriously, quit being a fucking child and man up and get your shit together and enjoy the next thirty years. FUCK!

artiefan91 | 1/26/2009, 8:52 am EST

artie is great he has made the howard stern show really enjoyable for the past 8-10 years he revived the show and i hope he gets well so we can continue to listen to to him for another 10 years.

Friend | 1/26/2009, 10:44 am EST

You people are freakin nuts. My son is on drugs, it is pure Hell. Arte, you’ve got the cash to get quality care… Most others don’t. Do it now and don’t look back. Peace.

broke junkie | 1/26/2009, 11:34 am EST

I live on the Texas Mexico border and pay $50 a gram for knock out chiva and I’m on 170 mg’s of methadone. I graduated the University of Texas with a communications degree and payed for school with a VA disability check. Now I shoot 2-3 grams a day with va money, ssi, and writing a concert review column. Artie doesn’t even shoot dope much less do speedballs. He’s a fat funny guy who can afford to waste his dope snorting it. Leave him alone. The Bill of Rights (1st 10 constitutional amendments)promises “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” To all you know it all NA fucks, whom I’ve found 90% couldn’t even graduate high school, there is no CORRECT way to live. If you don’t physically harm other people or their property- you do what you want. And if someone interferes-thats why we have a 2nd amendment, in the bill of rights. As if staying sober makes you live forever. Take your 70 year old program that fails 90% of the time (an AMA fact) and mind your own business. No one has a “secret” on how to live a successful life, because everyone defines success differently. As far as 12 steppers go, go lead your bleak, dreary lives, smoke cigs, drink coffee and ask for supernatural intervention for your addiction. It is after all the only disease recognized by the American Medical Association where “supernatural” intervention is seriously mentioned. Not by the AMA of course (they reccomend methadone or suboxin for heroin addiction), but by ignorant egotistical doctors who never had any balls in high school. Artie, stop wasting your dope, go to Wallgreens and ask for a 10 pack of u100 insulin syringes(28 mm. I’m sure you can find someone to show you how to fix. Since your chubby use a tourniquet high up on your forearm and find a vein in your hand or wrist. Remember bro it’s your life and you get to choose when you want to die-and how you want to live.
Heroin is the only reason I find to get out of bed-oh yeah methadone (so you don’t get sick at work or a movie or whatever) and then clonozapam takes the edge off. Stay away from booze (just my advice-I know you didn’t ask for it-but corporate America makes it-enough said), and DON’T do cocaine unless you have a big pile of smack.Dude I live in a city where there were more murders last year than in NY, LA, and CHI TOWN combined(Juarez, Mexico) so I know the value of escapism. Do what you want. It’s YOUR life. You are a funny motherfucker. You and Howard inspire jealousy cause your a genuninely talented cat. Me and the wife bounce back and forth from New Orleans (we hang at The Abbey, The Dungeon, The Dhervish-come to Mardi Gras and we’ll get trashed), but the only reason to be in Juarez is cheap, fantastic smack. I know you’ll leave ‘em laffin’ regardless.
R.D. High on the border where they found 4 cops beheaded. Ain’t life grand?
Your pal,
R.D.

Double D | 1/26/2009, 11:38 am EST

I cancelled my sub because Artie ruins the show now. He bores me to tears and is unfunny. Thanks for saving me $13 a month!

Erik | 1/26/2009, 1:00 pm EST

For broke junkie:

There may not be a “correct” way to live… but with all the world has to offer and see, if heroin is “the only reason” you find to get out of bed, then I’d say that’s about as “incorrect” a life as there could ever be.

Destructive Criticism | 1/26/2009, 1:05 pm EST

To all you fucks out there who want to beat on Artie, and who fail to understand his mentality and addiction…fuck you.

I’m 28, same age Art was when he was heavily addicted to coke, and I have a severe alcohol addiction. Yes, I work, yes I have a girlfriend, yes, I take care of things I have to in my life…but it’s so hard most of you wouldn’t believe. To think that someone want’s this lifestyle and that we do it as a rockstar/party thing is ludacris, it is NOTHING like that. Art does his drugs in solituted because he is a true addict….there is no glamour or attention-seeking behind it, he’s just fucked with this shit.

As far as that shit in the article about Artie seeing Howard as a father figure? To a degree, I could see that…he idolizes him, but it’s little more than that because the reason Artie’s so fucked up is because he had a great father who he lost in one of the most horrible ways possible. He doesn’t need a replacement for that, and if thats what he is looking for? He’s filling that void with drugs. Not Howard.

To conclude, Artie being a dick is to be expected, about the pic, about the criticism of his standup, because he’s an addict. when I’m on a bender or trying to stay sober off of one, I’m an asshole too…either your immersed in your own world while fucked up or you are suffering from withdrawls which make you want to either be back in that state or completely alone. To criticise his work, or to show him in an unflattering manner in that state is like just walking up to him and kicking him right in the fuckin nuts. What the fuck do you expect?

Artie is fuckin awesome, and a guy I can sympathize with. Him not wanting to be around or talk about people like him is likely because he hates seeing a reflection of himself in that sense. Art is the fuckin man. This is a crock of shit.

musikman43155 | 1/26/2009, 2:44 pm EST

You would think Rolling Stone would know how to use english or @least pay an editor to know how.

” The wear of doing stand-up and then waking up to do the Stern show is also AFFECTING Lange. “

Grandma Caprio | 1/26/2009, 3:56 pm EST

My Artie can’t help himself. I wish he would just come out of the closet so all his problems would be over.

Ringo Starr | 1/26/2009, 4:44 pm EST

Peace and love…..Peace and love!

Dear Destructive Criticism, | 1/26/2009, 6:17 pm EST

We’re all alcoholics… quit feeling sorry for yourself. You’re addicted to booze because you are WEAK!

Artie Fan from Pittsburgh | 1/26/2009, 6:33 pm EST

FUK all the negative people Artie you are one of the biggest reasons people listen on Sirius keep fighting the addiction we do not need to loose another great comedian.

GO STEELERS

Ape Fight | 1/26/2009, 7:51 pm EST

Fight the Fight Artie!

Black guy from the Psych Ward | 1/26/2009, 8:18 pm EST

Arrrie…Brefas!

everybody | 1/26/2009, 10:39 pm EST

Artie is the shit. Who gives a fuck what some entitled Ivy League automaton thinks. Can ‘Rolling Stone’ hire some more completely uninteresting writers so that subscriptions can plunge further? Pathetic baby boomer nostalgia rag.

143 | 1/27/2009, 3:19 am EST

Why the fuck is everyone writing to Artie on this site? Does anyone actually listen to the fucking HS Show? Artie just figured out texting a year ago and has no earthly idea what his email address is, if he’s got one. I’m posting because I read some of the comments on this blog and think it’s hilarious and sad at the same time that so many people care about this junkie! He’s had every opportunity that life affords, and he’s pissed them all away. Entertaining to watch, certainly, but not worthy of pity or prayer. He needs to keep being Artie until he keels over… hopefully he’ll have the balls to do it live on the HS Show.

Nedleigh Mandingo III | 1/27/2009, 12:48 pm EST

Lets Party Like Animals you Baby Gorilla
waaaaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaah

Bubba the Love Sponge | 1/27/2009, 12:56 pm EST

Show me the fucking Money.
SHUT UP IT ALL ABOUT ME!!! ME
SAY IT ME!!!!

Anonymous | 1/27/2009, 2:02 pm EST

Waaaaahhhhhhhhh!
I’m Artie Lange and I’m a junkie.
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I’l l be dead soon.
Waahhhhhhhhhhhh!

Jersey | 1/27/2009, 2:09 pm EST

My brother died from heroine abuse several years ago at 32 yrs old. He was EXACTLY like Artie, he would lie and BS his way through everything. Artie has the money to get treatment, but refuses to and half asses every fake attempt towards getting help.
The fact that he can fall asleep at work more then once and not even get a slap on the hand is just feeding his addiction. Chris Rock was right, fire him! Treat him no different then you would Wil, Benji, or anyone else that was pulling that shit on the show. Is Artie an adult? Yes! but, at the same time, when Artie ends up dead and doesnt show up to work one morning, everyone on the show and around him will be saying to themselves, “we should have done this or that”. Artie needs to be given an ultimatum, its the only was he is going to actually HELP himself. Artie has it good right now, he is making millions, so the supply will never be something he has to pull tricks for or sell his belongings. Instead of snorting dope, he should be checking into a long term inpatient treatment center followed by some outpatient therapy.

Get help Artie before youre dead

I would give anything to hug my brother again, I miss him everyday. Dont make Stacie go through what I have had to.

00 Dave | 1/27/2009, 2:44 pm EST

John Belushi, John Candy, Chris Farley, Artie Lange. Nuf said.

Pete Doherty | 1/27/2009, 3:46 pm EST

Three words: HE”S A JUNKIE

Never trust a dirt bag Junkie.
It’s the end for him. It’s just a matter of time.

arty farty | 1/27/2009, 3:49 pm EST

man he sounds horrible in this write-up, but who knows who’s telling the truth. all you guys telling ur sad stories on here, no one cares seriously

Harry Sak | 1/27/2009, 3:58 pm EST

Who gives a crap about Artie? He ruins the show every time he butts in and breaks the flow of Howard’s interviews. Oh goodie, another story about the bobble-head he called daddy. WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Crumb's Wednesday Cupcake | 1/27/2009, 4:40 pm EST

Eat me Artie.

JC | 1/27/2009, 10:31 pm EST

What is most interesting is how that fat fuck can earn even a dime as a comedian… considering he is just a boring POS who is NEVER FUNNY. I was never sure who was the bigger asshole, Artie or Howard for keeping him on the show.

Andy | 1/28/2009, 3:48 am EST

Artie Lang is funny, hope he gets clean before he dies. The article was honest. Sometimes readers have a problem with honesty. There is no opinion in honesty, no right from wrong, just the truth. Readers like to think they have something to add. Like they were there. The mirror is available, care to look in it someday.

Andy | 1/28/2009, 3:48 am EST

Artie Lang is funny, hope he gets clean before he dies. The article was honest. Sometimes readers have a problem with honesty. There is no opinion in honesty, no right from wrong, just the truth. Readers like to think they have something to add. Like they were there. The mirror is available, care to look in it someday.

Dic Goesinya | 1/28/2009, 11:40 am EST

Artie,
I loved you in old school when you said, “Come on, We’re all going streaking “. Remember balance- Don’t do to much and don’t do to little

Dic Goesinya | 1/28/2009, 11:40 am EST

Artie,
I loved you in old school when you said, “Come on, We’re all going streaking “. Remember balance- Don’t do to much and don’t do to little

ARTIE FANS RULE | 1/28/2009, 12:11 pm EST

I am sure Artie could go through the day with out her saying that is is fat. I am sure you could have live without me saying that she is ugly and that her piece on Artie was a copycat of his book. She is rude and has no class. She acts likes she is sooo much better then Artie. She only wished she had as much heart as Artie.

Artie rocks | 1/28/2009, 12:24 pm EST

That article downed Artie as a person. It sicken me. She thinks that she is so much better than Artie, that comes through in the article. Does she need to call him fat? I am sure he could have lived without hearing that from her just like she could live with out me saying that she is ugly and her article was a copy cat of his book.
Artie has a more heart than she will never have. I just ban not get over her rude ass comments. She missed who Artie as a person.

Marisa | 1/28/2009, 1:20 pm EST

Arties has jumped the shark. Period. The compulsive lying is so sleazy and entirely unprofessional. He needs to get out of Jersey dirt-bag mode and grow the hell up.

ChrisFarley | 1/28/2009, 1:47 pm EST

Artie, it’s me, Chris. Keep it up – it’s only a matter of time before you join me pal. I blew it – don’t let the same thing happen to you!

dan | 1/28/2009, 2:08 pm EST

honestly, who the f cares about artie lange? you know how many fat junkies there are out there that don’t get paid to act like the scumbags that he is? Are you all seriously upset that his feelings got hurt? The dude makes more money than most of us and all he has to do is buy heroin with it and smoke cigs. BFD man. This guy still has his mom decorate his apartment, give me a break. F Artie Lange, you all think he’s funny for the reasons she highlighted in the article: he’s fat, rude, a glutton, and makes you feel better about yourself that you are not as much of a f-k up.

Pop | 1/28/2009, 2:36 pm EST

I know what Howard can give Artie for Xmas….a ladder

Bob | 1/28/2009, 2:36 pm EST

“Uppity Bitch” seems right on the money.

Lisa G | 1/28/2009, 2:50 pm EST

I’m worried that the heroin shrunk your penis. Buy my cookies!

L Rushing | 1/28/2009, 2:58 pm EST

Its only a matter of time before Artie dies, and Howard and the gang will have to bare responsibility for this. Chris Rock was right and if they truly cared they would fire his fat junkie ass and force him to get help or just go away. My feeling is Howard is getting tired at this point and doesnt want to work that hard Artie makes it easier for Howard so there for Howard doesnt want to face the facts. ARTIE IS A JUNKIE, LIAR AND NEEDS HELP NOW IF HE DOESNT GET IT HE WILL DIE..PERIOD HIS DEATH WILL BE ON HOWARD STERNS HANDS AND IM SURE HE WILL TRY TO MAKE US LAUGH ABOUT IT BUT IT WONT BE FUNNY JUST REALLY SAD!!!!

Sal | 1/28/2009, 3:10 pm EST

This Grigoriadis lady fell for an Artie soundboard phone-gag on the show today. lol

Artie's Dead Father | 1/28/2009, 3:12 pm EST

I love you Artie but being dead is not all it’s cracked up to be, so get your head out of your fat ass and grow up!

You were more worried about two weeks wages than you were about staying off of “H”. You fucking retard.

I did not donate my sperm for you to turn out like this. Be a fucking man for once in your life and get clean.

Make me proud of you for once!

ChrisFarley | 1/28/2009, 3:26 pm EST

Firing Artie won’t work. He only makes $700K at Sirius. If comedy clubs stop hiring him, then he gets hit where it hurts. But they don’t care – as long as he is filling up the seats.

I’m calling Artie now and getting the rights to his post mortem biography.

Ron Mwangaguhunga | 1/28/2009, 4:10 pm EST

Artie is no longer on drink and drugs. He should focus on his stand-up and women, the last luxuries allowed the man. Lose the weight, get beefhunky and have some good, clean fun.

Timmy the cat | 1/28/2009, 5:10 pm EST

If you go back on coke you can look as skinny as me!

tjack100 | 1/28/2009, 8:16 pm EST

Artie please pull yourself together you have so much to live for. You have a passion to do comedy,that is a great talent to have to bring smiles and laughter to people. We all appreciate it but in order to beat this addiction you need to have find another purpose in life. You need a reason to live. Don’t be a like Chris Farley, James Belushi etc.

reubenthecuban1@yahoo.com | 1/28/2009, 8:56 pm EST

Artie puts it all out there for the world to hear. And all for “The Show”. So for the haters, DON’T hate appreciate!

Anonymous | 1/29/2009, 1:16 am EST

Eat a dick you big fat dago wop. The Stern Show can live without you.

Poppy Seed | 1/29/2009, 4:08 am EST

as much as i love artie this chick was only doing her job honestly and she exposed another side of him which he hides or pretends doesn’t exist. she doen’t even know artie but she easily identified his true personality and character flaws. i think she might have hit upon some of the reasons artie does some of the things he does – good and bad.

Nitz | 1/29/2009, 11:00 am EST

While I do think Artie is funny(to an extent), but sorry, this woman has hit the nail on the head. Anyone who doesn’t have the blinders on can see right thru Artie’s BS…Newsflash!!…He’s a fake a-hole. He wants everyone to fawn over him and think he is this generous guy..he always has to make sure EVERYBODY knows what great thing he has done for somebody this week. And his stand-up is weak and very North Jersey-trash,high-school-esque .
When called on his BS, Artie shows the person he really is…a self’important, hateful, fake, jealous, crude, BABY, LOSER…who always needs to feel special and be the center of attention.

The Rolling Stone chick didn’t kiss my ass….WHAAAAA!!!!

Kris From Toronto | 1/29/2009, 8:42 pm EST

Artie….you rock…stop the H…get on with it…you look like crap though….I remember the days of C and Booze…glad those days are over, you will too.

SCOTTY | 1/29/2009, 11:16 pm EST

I love artie but sleeping on the air is not funny any longer. fIRE HIS ASS and hire jim bruer.

The Truth | 1/30/2009, 3:37 am EST

Artie isn’t funny.

Greg Geraldo would do a much better job on the Stern show.

PaulSCanada | 1/30/2009, 1:05 pm EST

Artie the fashion trend-setter. Sweatpants at work. Charming. Gee, with the combo cupcake, Marlboro and Hawaiian Punch breath, no wonder Artie is a whore magnet.

John | 1/30/2009, 7:07 pm EST

I’m hoping you’re pulling an Andy Kaufman. If not, can I borrow some cash?

cringe benefit | 1/31/2009, 3:50 pm EST

It’s entirely possible that Artie might die while on the air. I don’t think Howard is going to feel good about it if it happens.

H | 1/31/2009, 5:54 pm EST

she is an uppity bitch! wheres her psychology degree?

Your Bookie | 1/31/2009, 10:36 pm EST

You aren’t funny. Your shtick on the show is tired, because it’s the same old “all about me” crap every day. Your appearance is abhorent. You’re immoral. You don’t give a damn about your family. And Howard doesn’t care about you.

Tommy | 2/3/2009, 5:19 am EST

Does Artie contribute positively to the show? Yes.

Does Artie fully understand the show? I’m not sure. Artie loves to ruin arguments but trying to insert some story about some bookie or bad cop or dealer when we don’t need to hear it because something else more interesting is going on. I enjoy his one-liners, but Artie doesn’t need to talk every minute. In the old days, Jackie barely talked and his mic was turned way down. Yeah, Jackie was more of a writer for the show, but everyone views Artie as Jackie’s replacement.

The Howard Stern Show is still great and kudos to everyone on staff.

Carolines Comedy Club | 2/4/2009, 1:44 am EST

Your shows sucked.

Lorn michaels SNL | 2/4/2009, 11:33 pm EST

Arte, you are not even remotely close to having the talent of a john belushi or a chris farley, I know this to be a fact because now that they’re gone my show has shit the bed, and that is something you surely do on a regular basis, you fat, sloppy, unfunny, load of and sorry excuse for a man!! All of you who compare arte to these two icons also shit the bed!! He,s nothing more than a poser!!

Anonymous | 2/8/2009, 6:43 pm EST

I just read the Rolling Stone Magazine article about Artie Lange. When Artie knocks himself, he does it with humor (and quite well, at that.) The writer of the article started it wrong, and I don’t think she was trying her hand at humor. Later in the article, she did sound as if she liked Artie, and I think she was fair, in that part of the article. The first couple of paragraphs, though, I felt were cruel and unnecessarily unfair to a man who, has no trouble making fun of himself, and also, accepts ribbing about his shortcomings from others if it is fair and funny. No one wants to be insulted about the things that he, inside, know are his shortcomings. Quite frankly, I think Artie Lange does try to find why he does the things to himself that he does, for at least a few minutes a month (see…that was funny!) Marisa45

Eric the Midget | 2/9/2009, 12:43 pm EST

ehhhhhhh!!

blahss | 2/9/2009, 3:18 pm EST

Norm Mcdonald hates the article.

Jack Seattle | 2/9/2009, 3:23 pm EST

Ok RS article, not great nor terrible, slight negative spin sells article, RS author doesn’t listen to show a lot, Artie great on HS, some antics not great on show, Norm agrees today on show piece was a hatchet job, oh well, people are still talking about story, mission accomplished, the image in article is pretty funny

Dan The Song Parody Man | 2/9/2009, 3:32 pm EST

Hurry up and die so I can keep your 8 grand

Supertrucker D | 2/9/2009, 6:52 pm EST

What a hack! Yucko The Clown is more hiliarous than that coattail riding piece of crap. Good thing you can plug your gigs every chance you get, otherwise you would be slingin dope at your local pizza joint. You better start saving you money, cause you know Howard will wise up and send you packing. Then with your history try gettin a contract signed.

Steve P | 2/10/2009, 12:41 am EST

Arty says ” I love MY sister ” if this were true he would quit being such an A-hole and get clean

Steve P | 2/10/2009, 12:41 am EST

Arty says ” I love MY sister ” if this were true he would quit being such an A-hole and get clean

Superior Martling | 2/10/2009, 6:07 am EST

Jackie was better than Artie hands down.

Lance | 2/10/2009, 12:24 pm EST

Lick ‘zee balls!

Lance | 2/10/2009, 12:25 pm EST

Wow. Artie is truly a mess. He will meet his maker soon.

arties fat face | 2/10/2009, 3:33 pm EST

Artie Lange is a national treasure-He’s probably one of the funniest guys on the planet

jennifer | 2/10/2009, 4:27 pm EST

Iam a fan of the howard stern show i like artie lang he is good at what he does but iam very worried about him he needs to get some help asap or else he will die.Where is howard? someone needs to step up and shake artie before its to late.He has all the money and hes blowing it on herion and drinking.he doesnt realize how lucky he is to have that kind of a job he is spoiled and fat he needs to get his shit together real soon or we will see Artie LANG rip.
Get better Artie do it just do it!
love ya

jennifer | 2/10/2009, 4:56 pm EST

Artie Artie Artie get your shit together now! you are going to be dead if you dont get some help
your a funny guy its so sad to see you like this stay off the H and booze got it?
Love ya
Jennifer toronto

Arties Chair | 2/11/2009, 4:59 am EST

He was much funnier when he could stand up. Now he looks like jabba the hut. And he has the nerve to comment on others hygeine. He sweats like a stuck pig and his skin is turning yellow.

Arties Chair | 2/11/2009, 4:59 am EST

He was much funnier when he could stand up. Now he looks like jabba the hut. And he has the nerve to comment on others hygeine. He sweats like a stuck pig and his skin is turning yellow.

George Rush | 2/11/2009, 11:39 am EST

Who is this Grigoriadis? A nothing! No one knows or cares about her! Artie will be around (if he lives) that she will! I will from now on avoid publications with her byline!

Anonymous | 2/11/2009, 2:19 pm EST

hey artie: not pretty, dude,,

:like some say i too hope it’ll be on air

:grow up enjoy the money another way

:rolling stone pretty soon readers digest in size?!

pj | 2/11/2009, 2:20 pm EST

If Artie does end up dead, as seems likely, it will be of his own doing. No one holds the H up to his nose so he can snort more. I do wonder however, will Howard be able to face himself in the mirror and feel that he bears no responsibility? By allowing this human train wreck to come and go at will and say “I really have no problem with Artie’s performance” Howard is the ultimate enabler. As Chris Rock said on the show, the only way to straighten Artie out is to fire him. If you continue to shower him with money and provide a platform for him to promote his stand-up, you make it impossible for an addict to stop. I am not excusing Artie’s behavior by any means, I think he is a very pathetic, sad person with no self-respect. But when he ends up dead then everyone around him will have to ask themselves, “what could I have done to save this person?”. If Howard goes on with no regret, he will show that he is a real narcissist.

frankiethewire | 2/11/2009, 3:00 pm EST

I’ve been listening to the Stern show since getting tapes of his days in D.C. I’ve never loved Howard as much as I have since he went to satellite. I was born in Brooklyn and moved to L.I. when I was 8. I’m 100% sicilian and an electrician. Demographically, I’m Artie’s best audience. That said, I’m done with Artie. I used to love him. At one point I kinda thought he was better than Howard (shame on me). But now I realize that he’s pissing on me with his lies. I can’t take second guessing everything he says now. F Artie. I know addiction is a disease, but he’s not my kid. He wouldn’t listen even if he were. This is entertainment, and I’m not entertained anymore. I don’t think it’s funny to interrupt the flow of some bit with a hot girl to ask if she’ll blow him for 10 gees. It’s like getting smacked in the face when he tells Howard to drug test him, then backs out 2 weeks later (I spoke with an entertainment laywer who advised me against it-bulls**). I hear the junk in his voice. I can’t effing deal. Fire him. I don’t want to see him die in front of me. Do it in private. Have some friggin’ self respect.

Robin quivers | 2/15/2009, 8:33 pm EST

Hi artie its robin remember me? we work together at the stern show.
I am very worried about you get off the herion before it kills you and it will trust me.You need a lot of help we cant help you you need to help yourself ok?shit head? You are not even in the same company of john or chris or sam you need to get your self clean ok?

Babbabooey | 2/16/2009, 5:30 am EST

This chick is a mean spirited biatch who does think she is better than Artie and did write a bunch of sarcastic crap in her article. It doesn’t come off like she is concerned or full of empathy. I heard her say on Stern, “That’s what makes good copy.” So she clearly just wants to talk a bunch of bs to get noticed.

Italian-American | 2/16/2009, 3:59 pm EST

Artie Lange and Nick DiPaulo are in a perpetual contest on who can set Italians back the farthest.

Joolz | 2/17/2009, 12:28 pm EST

I cannot agree more with Frankiethewire’s comment of 2/11/09 below. I, too, am a long time listener of Stern and really liked Artie. But it is too heart-wrenching to watch his descent any longer. I read the book and enjoyed the first few chapters but it just got sadder and sadder – all the more-so because we all know from listening to the show that he’s still destroying himself. Yea – I agree Frankie – don’t do it in front of me. It’s time for Howard to fire him. For real.

Ed Torian | 2/18/2009, 8:10 pm EST

Artie – Have you ever been fucked by a man? The answer will be yes after you blow all of your money and are desperate to get high. Maybe High Pitch Mike will give you a few bucks to suck him off.

I love the Stern Show and used to love you, but I am fucking sick of your shit and constant drama. Your only saving grace at this point is that you are at least still funnier than Jackie. In fact your funniest moment over the last few months was when you became incensed that Gary thinks you lie about everything, even if you don’t you’ve lost all credibility and don’t deserve the benefit o any doubt.

Anyone else would have been fired by now…for the Teddy attack alone…Howard needs to fire you and move on.

jennifer | 2/23/2009, 5:48 pm EST

Artie your fat and spoiled
get off the H before its to late
waaaaaaaaaaaa im addicted to herion and booze waaaaaaaaaaa im gonna die soon if i dont stop
waaaaaaaaaaa why is everyone picking on me?
waaaaaaaaaa
get your shit together artie before its to late.

jennifer | 2/23/2009, 5:53 pm EST

Whaaaaaa look at me im artie lang whaaaaaa i make shitloads of money with howard stern whaaaaa
I love doing h eating mcdonalds
and drinking kettle one
whaaaaa im going to die soon
my life sucks
you are spoiled brat artie
nice knowing you
rip

jennifer | 2/24/2009, 7:07 pm EST

Hey Artie pull yourself together you have a good life you make tons of money you work for howard you make pepole laugh.
Whaaaaa my life sucks
whaaaa im addicted to herion and booze
whaaaa im gonna dir soon if i dont stop

TaTa Toothy | 2/27/2009, 3:48 am EST

I loved Artie back before the move to satalite radio. I haven’t heard the show since the move and I just saw him on Conan and I can’t believe how far he has slid. When he started with Stern He was the funniest person I had ever heard. After seeing him in that interview I can only imagine the effect it must have on the current radio show. I hope Artie pulls it together. I don’t know if the dead pool is still going but artie would have to be the odds on favorite.

jennifer | 2/28/2009, 5:49 pm EST

What drug problem? im sure artie is fine NOT! I am very worried about him his drug use has gotten out of hand.I wish howard would do something why hasnt he done something to help Artie?
If artie keeps this up he will die no questions about it herion is a bad one and it has artie by the balls.Get some help artie please before its to late

jennifer toronto | 3/1/2009, 6:43 pm EST

Artie Artie Artie what are we going to do about you?
Kettle one is calling your name
Artie…. have a drink…eat some kfc….
get yourself together man
your life is crumbling before you
you need to do this for yourself
love ya hi howard

Crazy Alice | 3/7/2009, 7:16 pm EST

For all of you Sirius & Artie Lange neysayers…FUCK OFF!!! So Artie has a fucking drug problem…it’s a disease. He needs to get back on the Paxil & see a therapist…end of story. He fucking rocks and he is BETTER than Belushi! And Radio 365 or whatever the fuck…PUSSIES!!!!! There will NEVER be anything better than Howard, and as long as he’s there with everyone in tow, Sirius will be kicking the shit out of every single competitor. I LOVE YOU ARTIE!!!!!

3x T-Shirt | 3/7/2009, 11:55 pm EST

Love ya, Art.

shonto bear from arizona | 3/18/2009, 12:45 am EST

Artie is the best, sad to say but Howards show would not be worth subscribing to if Artie was not on it. Everyone is pulling for you Artie…we love you, we envy you…keep up with the great stories and keep singing biggies songs…ur hilarious bro!

franky vallie | 3/21/2009, 7:31 pm EST

artie hates the fans because he’s a fat douchebag.

adam | 3/23/2009, 12:45 am EST

Artie doesn’t really add much to the show besides getting in fights occasionally,and by fights i in know way mean fisticuffs,just little girl “talk” fights!God Damn i miss the Jokeman!

Tommy from Miami | 3/28/2009, 8:24 am EST

Artie is ok but he talks too much and thinks the audience wants to hear his dumb opinion about things. Whenever Richard and Sal get a few minutes in the studio, Artie tries to steal the limelight by creating another dumb story that nobody cares about.

Riley Martin | 4/1/2009, 5:32 pm EST

AHHH, listen here son you got to clean up your act, AHHHH, none the less. damn it AHHH, Shoulie?

anthony | 4/23/2009, 3:50 pm EST

after this fat lucky loser started making fun of people working 9-5 jobs, i couldn’t handle him anymore. he’s supposed to be the working man’s comic? give me a break! he’s an entitled loser who wouldn’t be anywhere without howard stern. MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO ACTUALLY WORK, ARTIE. THAT WILL GET YOU MORE FANS, YOU USELESS JUNKIE.

Just Die Already | 5/15/2009, 3:11 pm EST

Its 3:00 on Friday – what are you waiting for?

Just Die Already | 5/15/2009, 3:11 pm EST

Its 3:00 on Friday – what are you waiting for?

Farty | 5/18/2009, 10:09 am EST

I made a poopy – Artie rocks! The government knows the cure to acid reflux bu twon’t tell us.

Stopped caring years ago | 6/14/2009, 1:40 am EST

They had Tina Fey on talking about working for SNL, and Artie thinks he’s comparing notes with a peer when he mentions that he was on Mad TV twenty years ago. He doesn’t like the article because it’s TRUE. WAAAAAAHHH.

hank the dwarf | 6/17/2009, 8:21 am EST

artie rules !!

Tom | 7/16/2009, 6:51 pm EST

Vanessa Grigoriadis did not write about the real Artie Lange. He certainly has more than his share of problems (which is is very open about) but his fans love his talent and heart. This was a poorly researched and written article.

Scott former ETOH abuser | 7/23/2009, 9:30 pm EST

Artie Lang is truly one of the funnist entertainers of our time. Artie and Howard compliment one another perfectly.

Artie, you need help man. Take it from someone who met you in Cleveland w/ stuttering john a few years ago and we were both drunk. I am sober now, but could see myself in your postion if I had not stopped.
You get me through my day man. Every day.
I know you don’t like the postion you are in right now in regard to drugs and ETOH. Please get a rehab now! Your legacy is much more than a funny, fat guy who did drugs.
I will pray for you bro. It’s the only thing I can do, unless you want to call me.

Peter North | 10/3/2009, 11:56 pm EST

lol

ANGRY HANK | 10/15/2009, 11:01 am EST

Artie has been gone all week.
OMVI must have gotten to him.
SAY Goodbye Artie.
Time for you to go be with Hank and Kenneth Keith. RIP FATMAN

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