Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to say “hair extensions” in our recaps. Here’s our take on episode three:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: The 12 remaining “ladies” hit an ice rink in Champaign, Illinois, for “Baby Hockey,” where good ol’ Lacey tries to prevent them from slapping a Baby Bret doll into the goal. Despite a possible popped breast implant (pity the paramedic), the pink team scores a strip-club date with Bret where everyone hops onstage but Beverly (decked out in camo cargo pants), who admits she’s hesitant to humiliate herself on TV because she has three kids. Bret deems her “a buzzkill”; we’d call her “a rational human.”

Hey-Oh!: Brittaney ups her WTF factor by recklessly tottering around the rink while claiming to have been so skilled an ice skater as a kid, she was nearly an Olympic hopeful. Then the other girls discover something amiss in her bunk: a bag full of the sweaty socks used in the hockey challenge. Annnnd she credits her career in porn with teaching women how to start retirement funds.

The Most Ridiculous Part: Melissa makes a cell phone call. To her boyfriend. Where everyone can hear her. And makes fun of Bret’s hair extensions. Then she denies it, as though video tape doesn’t exist.

The Rockin’ Send-Off: Melissa gets the heave-ho from a totally pissed Bret, and reacts with a sassy neck swivel. Everyone applauds — including Brittaney, who is sent packing a moment later. Her last words? “I just can’t wait to give the world the love that I have.”

Want more Rock of Love? Click here to check out all our Rock of Love coverage, including our exclusive interview with Bret Michaels right here in the Rolling Stone offices, where he dished the dirt on the ladies of the first season.