Photo: Mller/Getty

O.J. Simpson was sentenced to at least nine years of prison last week, but he isn’t going quietly. Instead, he’s leaving us with his first ever “gangsta rap” video entitled “Get Juiced,” perhaps the oddest display of hip-hop cinema since R. Kelly got trapped in that closet and the best Simpson vehicle since The Naked Gun 2 1/2. The music video is actually just a promotional tool for the Juiced tape, which features O.J. partaking in Punk’d-esque pranks like acting like a used cars salesmen peddling his infamous white Ford Bronco (complete with autograph, bullet holes and “escapability”) and pretending he’s on the show Cheaters. The visual spectacle is trumped only by the ridiculous lyrics, featuring our new Facebook status “Don’t you know there’s no stopping the Juice/When I’m on the floor I’m like a lion on the loose/Better shoot me with a tranquilizer dart/Don’t be stupid, I’m not a Simpson named Bart.” Contrary to the lyrics, the Nevada court of law found a way to stop the Juice without the aid of a tranquilizer dart.

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