After two weeks of brilliant guest-mentor wackiness thanks to Mariah Carey and Andrew Lloyd Webber, Neil Diamond was a relatively normalizing presence on last night’s bizarre American Idol. David Archuleta pulled the Kristy Lee Cook card and performed “America,” Ryan Seacrest creepily played with a kid in the audience’s hair before Syesha Mercado’s second song and something happened in Paula Abdul’s mind that cannot be explained by simple science. For those moments and more, check out these quick clips:
5. Due to a tear in the space-time contiuum, Paula Abdul actually did see Jason Castro perform twice (her analysis of his phantom second song was dead on, folks!).
4. Ryan Seacrest finds new and exciting ways to humiliate himself.
3. Jason Castro finds new and exciting ways to humiliate himself.
2. Brooke White recovers from a “nightmare” performance of “I’m a Believer” with a dreamy “I Am … I Said.”
1. Since Paula seems to have this future-vision thing down, our money is now officially on David Cook.

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