Every week on The Salt-N-Pepa Show, two MCs from the late Eighties try to prove they don’t hate each other (and the rap game), while our Rock Reality Show Recaps attempt to prove we don’t resent VH1 for exploiting the heroes of our youth (again). Here’s our take on the final episode:

Thirty Minutes in Four Sentences: In an effort to lure Salt to a joint appearance at the Mardis Gras parade, Pepa signs the two up for a little construction work rebuilding houses destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Once Salt finds out Pep tricked her into America’s favorite “flashing boobs” party, she threatens to go home but ends up joining Pep as one of the parade monarchs on a float built just for the rap duo.

Disowning the Shoop: Knowing that Salt will only jump aboard if there is a “halo” involved, Pep calls up the St. Bernard Project, which rebuilds homes in the 9th ward of New Orleans. Pep even picks up all the newspapers in the hotel hallway because the front page announced the duo as one of the float monarchs. After huffily telling Pep that she better find a “Salt substitute” for the “lift your shirt” fiesta, Salt somehow convinces herself that the Mardis Gras parade is actually a “sweet and family-oriented” event. She ends up tossing out beads in a flapper costume to America’s partying finest, and happily reports she only saw one pair of flashing boobs (”She had a terrible boob job. She should have kept her shirt on”). The “sweet” crowd even gets treated to a float-top performance of “Shoop.”

Whatta Band: Despite working under Pep’s cloak of deception, Salt and Pepa actually rebuild the walls and floor of an entire room in a dilapidated house. Although the homeowner is initially nervous about Pep picking up power tools, the two get to celebrate the finished room by racing crawfish, and then eating the winners and losers. Salt and Pep also pledge $10,000 to the rebuilding project. For revenge for the Mardis Gras silence, Salt wakes up a haggard-looking Pep bright and early on their last day in New Orleans to drag her to church, pulling down her skirt so Pep won’t be “distracting people from the word.”

Pushin’ It Forward: The renewed trust between the MC duo almost came falling apart when Pep decided to trick Salt one last time. But Salt’s appearance at the parade solidifies their progress from a few years ago, when they “couldn’t even look at each other.” At a dinner, the yin and yang of shoop realize that Salt has some naked shoulder showing, and Pep has both covered. Maybe they will take that symbiosis off the reality show circuit and back onto an album.

[Photo: Getty]