Last night’s American Idol demonstrated its awesome power by wasting an hour of our collective lives on one big, irritating inside joke. While Christian Siriano — who we can only presume is Danny Noriega’s idol — was winning Project Runway a few networks over (sass is having the Best Week Ever!), the eight remaining ladies of Idol were diving into the Eighties catalogs of Phil Collins (Ramiele Malubay’s so-so “Against All Odds”) and Pat Benatar (Brooke White’s appealing acoustic “Love Is a Battlefield”). But for the best moments, watch these quick clips:

5. Okay, Carly Smithson, we get it. You drink. Let’s hope this song won’t soundtrack your first PSA.

4. Asia’h Epperson’s “second-rate Whitney Houston” is more like “fourth-rate waitress from Houston.”

3. Kady Malloy’s lack of personality is about two seconds away from punching Ryan Seacrest in the nose.

2. Kristy Lee Cook’s “embarrassing” story is actually “psycho.” Thankfully, she covered a Journey song that gives us an excuse to post footage of Arnel Pineda again.

1. Amanda Overmyer covers a Joan Jett song with the word “hate” in the title, so it’s no surprise that Simon adores it.