Every week on The Salt-N-Pepa Show, two MCs from the late Eighties try to prove they don’t hate each other (and the rap game), while our Rock Reality Show Recaps attempt to prove we don’t resent VH1 for exploiting the heroes of our youth (again). Here’s our take on the fourth episode:

Thirty Minutes in Two Sentences: Salt-N-Pepa decide to write a new song, an ode to old school hip-hop, and record it with their newfound peaceful communication skills. But after a standstill in the creative process, Salt wanders off to write on her own and Pep feels left in the cold once again.

Disowning the Shoop: The duo first try writing their new track in Salt’s Long Island basement, and, as Pep points out, Salt is continually led astray by the trilogy of suburban distraction, “the husband, the kids, the dogs.” Salt even decides to make cupcakes mid-writing session, and forbids Pepa from snacking on a banana. Their manager sends them to a creativity exercise center where the teacher welcomes them with, “So let’s do some breathing.” Salt decides to split off and beat out a hook by herself.

Whatta Band: The songwriting pushes on, with mostly retrospective boasts (”even Biggie gave it up to the queens from Queens”). When the two MCs reconvene in the studio, Salt takes the lead with the beat and hook and Pepa storms out in frustration. The two make up, but decide the song isn’t done until Pepa has had her input.

Pushin’ It Forward: The two finally took the first baby step towards making a new album, but the next episode is apparently about Pepa trying to lose some poundage for a red-carpet event. Nevertheless, Salt has readjusted her mind from “mom” mode to “artist and creative” mode, and somewhere Spinderella is waiting breathlessly (and probably insecurely) for a phone call.