The top ten ladies of season seven butchered Seventies week last night, somehow mangling everything from Kansas (say it ain’t so, Amanda Overmyer!) to Heart (you will pay dearly, Kady Malloy!). The judges continued to pound the hopefuls on one point — song choice — which seems increasingly ridiculous as it’s become more obvious that the producers and track availablity have just as much to do with the contestants’ selections as their personal taste. The prize for worst “tell the audience something they don’t know” tale goes to Alaina Whitaker, who doesn’t like the food on her plate to touch. That factoid is almost as scintillating as these five quick clips:

5. Perhaps Carly Smithson’s memory is being affected by all that time she spends in an Irish pub fulfilling stereotypes.

4. Hollywood week the judges told Brooke White they liked her Carly Simon vibe, so last night she became her.

3. Has Syesha Mercado mentioned she’s an actress? She also enjoys crying like a baby and switching gender pronouns on songs.

2. Is it more insulting to compare Ramiele Malubay’s hula dancing to Sanjaya Malakar, or her neck movement to Kristy Lee Cook?

1. Asia’h Epperson learned the most valuable lesson of all: don’t tackle a song that another Idol alum has already sang the hell out of (in this case, X Factor’s Leona Lewis).