Brace yourself: the next twenty-one days will bring three episodes of American Idol per week, with four eliminations each Thursday until we’re down to the twelve finalists. Last night the top twelve guys performed songs of the Sixties, and the show became infatuated with the idea that they have three “rockers” in its midst. Let’s assume you won’t hear from Chikezie, Jason Yeager, Luke Menard or Garrett Haley again (Ellen Degeneres lookalike Colton Berry, dreadlocked guitarist Jason Castro and smooth David Hernandez will likely make the cut) — here are last night’s best (and most rockin’, according to the judges) clips:
5. David Cook’s “Happy Together” makes Randy Jackson imagine Cook fronting Alice in Chains. Seriously, he says this, watch:
4. Former boy bander Robbie Carrico looks like Justin Timberlake but refuses to take off his bandanna like Bret Michaels. This means he rocks about as hard as Three Doors Down.
3. David Archuleta is rocking a Melinda Doolittle “Who, me? I can sing? You like me!?” attitude that would be grating if he wasn’t so damn likeable.
2. Randy likens Aussie Michael Johns to Michael Hutchence. We were too distracted by the fire flaming away in the background to remember anything else.
1. And now for a moment we’d like to call “Oh, Snap! Danny Noriega!”
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