Every week on the new E! series Father Hood, Snoop Dogg takes you into the mundane shiznit of being both a family man and a potty-mouthed hip-hop icon. Here’s our eighth Rock Reality Recap:

Thirty Minutes in Three Sentences: After his sons refuse to open the door for their tutor because they are deep in a Guitar Hero match, Snoop brings them back to Long Beach to show them how good they have it compared to his childhood. In an effort to make his oldest son the first family member to go to college, Snoop sticks the boys with the vice principal for a motivational speech about staying in school while Snoop takes a walk through his old LBC stomping ground.

Kin and Juice: While his old principal is talking to his sons about good grades, Snoop reminisces about how he courted his wife from his bike on the school’s front lawn. In his effort to be “sweet,” he calls his wife to remind her of their origins and she ends up in hysterics over Snoop’s sentimentalism. Snoop then takes his kids to go see his cousins, where the younger generation gets a two-fold lesson: Never smoke crack, and “never touch another man’s dick.” Snoop and his cousin recall some maternal “whoopings” and tell his kids he couldn’t hit them because someone “would call 911. 911 didn’t work for us.”

It’s a Doggy Dogg World: Boss Lady throws down after the kids play too many video games, threatening to break the Guitar Hero controller in half. Snoop is similarly confused by his Hero junkies, reminding his kids that “this ain’t the Osbournes,” and philosophizing that the game is for “all black people that want to be white that they think they’re in a rock & roll band.” And to prove his point, “Jimi Hendrix been dead.”

Snoopism of the Day: Snoopguistics took a geographical twist today with “Long Beach.” Snoop apparently still has high school pride for his Long Beach (”California, that is”) high school, and wants his boys to play football for East Side Long Beach Poly, aka “the funk house.” “Whenever you see LB, that’s what Long Beach means. But the ‘c’ is hidden.” Next week, we’ll see Snoop in studio mode and even get a guest visit from D.M.C.