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How to Save the Grammys: A Five Point Plan

2/11/08, 3:40 pm EST


Despite a couple of highlights – Amy Winehouse’s genuine emotion after winning Record of the Year, Kanye West’s heartfelt tribute to his mother, Brad Paisley’s shred-tastic version of “Ticks” – last night’s Grammy broadcast is looking like a debacle thanks to three and a half laborious, scattershot hours of creepy collaborations with dead people, overlong trombone jams and unnecessary raps from Will.i.am. But there is hope. Here’s a five point plan to save a time-honored institution.

1) Hand Out Fewer Awards: And not only that, but be more selective about what you hand out on the air. The Oscars actually hand out more statues during the course of the show, but each one is way more meaningful because the audience knows exactly what each one means. Last night’s soundtrack award was obviously an excuse to honor the Beatles, while the silly Rap/Sung Collaboration prize was clearly a way to give a nod to “Umbrella.” If you keep down the number of categories and are somewhat consistent about what awards you give out on the air, it’ll all feel less arbitrary.

2) Don’t Overthink the Performances: The best performances of last night – Amy Winehouse, Kanye West, Brad Paisley – all had one thing in common: simplicity. Daft Punk cameos aside, these were moments of the performer doing what got them there. Most people don’t get the opportunity to see live music – why not just show the viewing audience what that looks like, rather than re-arrange Feist’s “1234″ so that it’s an unrecognizable gypsy-jazz disaster or force Rihanna to slow down “Umbrella” while she fights the Time?

3) Don’t Worry About Being Everything to Everyone: Inclusiveness is great, but if you crowbar in every single musical genre into the show it becomes an endless parade of pandering. Overlong gospel tributes and snoozy renditions of “Rhapsody in Blue,” we’re speaking to you.

4) Reform the Voting Body: NARAS has to say the things that nobody wants to say, and that’s that some people are not fit for Grammy voting. It may take membership limits, but there clearly needs to be an influx of youth. Alternately, limit the voting to each voter’s specialty.

5) Never Invite Cirque Du Soleil: Or anybody who doesn’t appeal to real music fans. Record sales may be down, but that doesn’t mean that people don’t still go ape for their favorite bands, singers and songwriters. Don’t be afraid to point the cameras at them.


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Comments

Junior | 2/22/2008, 3:23 am EST

It seems like very few awards were announced live when you consider the program ran a good three hours. I was pulling for Evanesence for best live rock performance. Guess I was alone!

X.tm | 2/16/2008, 2:29 am EST

T-Love | 2/11/2008, 4:18 pm EST

“Everything the music industry does is gigantic mis-step, and they then wonder why the industry is tanking.”

Quoted for truth.

Amen, Brother (or Sister)!

JD | 2/15/2008, 7:35 pm EST

I agree with most of those points (but I thought “Rhapsody in Blue” was excellent). Less tributes, less dead people performing, and a lot less Kanye!

Nominees | 2/15/2008, 11:35 am EST

I was disappointed at some of the nominees in categories. Bluegrass for one. Merle Haggard came out with a great album this past year called The Bluegrass Sessions. The voters decided that it wasn’t bluegrass enough to be nominated. I like the idea of only people in their specific genres voting for the awards.
If you want to find out more about the album, the folks at McCoury Music put a couple of good articles about what happened along with the song clips so the fans could decide for themselves.
http://www.mc coury music.net/interact1.cfm

The glory | 2/13/2008, 11:20 pm EST

Honestly in the past I thought that Kanye West was just too much talk but talent speaks louder than words so I think he should say whatever the hell he wants. Somebody has to be out there to break the rules. Oh and that Cirque du Soleil act was too ackward,it belongs in Las Vegas not the Grammys.

Charlie from the Chi | 2/13/2008, 5:54 pm EST

Amen to the MORE ROCK, LESS POP comment. Can anyone tell me why the Foo Fighters are now the token rock band on the Grammys and the MTV Awards?

whydoicare | 2/13/2008, 3:32 pm EST

Last few years I refused to watch the Grammy’s. It was a sanity preservation decision I made for myself. However, went againt my better judgement this year and watched, horrified, even sick to my stomach at times. Kept trying to change channels, but seemed to be tranfixed to the wierdness occuring at each new turn! I’m now wishing for a delete memory button in my brain for the entire 3 hour Grammy Awards Show 2008! Too many strange, awfull performances and appearances, bad choices for presenters, etc. to even comment on without writing a book. Hope improvement does come to future shows, for the sake of the many deserving and talented musicians. They certainly weren’t showcased this year. I won’t be taking the chance to watch and see, too much damage done this year.

jayson.ford@yahoo.ca | 2/13/2008, 1:42 pm EST

rule 6: no entourages. i don’t care how deep you roll.

rule 7: do not thank God. bono was right. usually the chorus is a little weak.

rule 8: do everything you can to ensure hip hop dies the death it deserves. less talking. more singing.

rule 9: can the pointing at the camera. i’m talking to you hip hop.

rule 10: break the rules.

OhBeer | 2/13/2008, 10:57 am EST

And Kanye how could I forget kanye…What an obnoxious ass. Yeah I’m Sorry anout your Mama, but couldn’t you just thank her and then shut your rediculous mouth!

OhBeer | 2/13/2008, 10:43 am EST

Compared to other awards shows lately I thought the Grammies were great, save for two things, the Wil.i.am thing was pointless, and Kid rock was an idiot! otherwise a good night, I enjoyed the performances but actually could have gone for a few More awards.

Jon | 2/13/2008, 7:58 am EST

I highly doubt that there was a special category created just as an excuse to honor The Beatles. And even if that were true, were the voters told they had to select “LOVE” in that category? Hardly. And even if a category was created, I say GREAT! The Beatles recorded five of the greatest albums of all time. They are on your Top 200 list of albums on this site. Four of the five are in the top ten and the other is in the top 20. How many Album of The Year awards did The Beatles get? One: “Sgt. Pepper.” The group had 20 No. 1 singles in this country and how many Record of The Year awards did they get? None. Zero. Zilch. 0. Please. So, I say if they are trying to honor the group now, it’s frigging appropriate.

Tomus | 2/13/2008, 5:08 am EST

Why was Kanye on for so long, when Daft Punk could’ve blown him away for an extra 10 minutes?

Robert | 2/12/2008, 9:55 pm EST

Right on about Will.I.Am’s performance, Chris.
That was horrible

Bean Dabddy | 2/12/2008, 12:12 pm EST

Show me a Music fan who doesn’t enjoy a visual or two, even if it’s just musicians performing. I didn’t think Cirque du Soleil was soo bad (echoes 2 eon) and I’d find it hard to believe music fans not enjoying them. YES, more bands, singers and songwriters always. Keep it simple to get more music… More Music!
Echoes Taps to EXAMPLE… Kryne W don’t deserve no special treats! Sadness absolute losing a loved one in such a horrible way but why the special treats for a KryneBaby!!! I still have no reason to respect that peasant!

Lois | 2/12/2008, 11:46 am EST

I think they did the best they could considering on who and what they had to work with. Gospel was great and Cirque du Soleil was awesome to watch and Kanye West the worst Rap Singer in the world.
Next Year will be better. TBTG

Lois | 2/12/2008, 11:45 am EST

I think they did the best they could considering on who and what they had to work with. Gospel was great and Cirque du Soleil was awesome to watch and Kanye West the worst Rap Singer in the world.
Next Year will be better. TBTG

Chris | 2/12/2008, 10:44 am EST

Yeah– it was boring. Right on point about the extraneous nonsense like WilliAm’s rap. That was not just off point, it was horrible. The trombone piece and the entire Rhapsody in Blue piece was just way over the top.

And Kanye was an embarassment. The bit about his mom was touching, but his arrogant bit about him winning awards and who should win if he doesn’t, disgusted me.

idiot | 2/12/2008, 9:50 am EST

what has the world come to when a talented woman with a drug problem is reffered to as a crack whore. dmille is an idiot. what if this woman was your mother, daughter, sister, wife?

DMILLE | 2/12/2008, 12:44 am EST

One comment: what is the world coming to or the music industry for that matter when we hand one of the most prestigious musical award icons to a crack whore who, “won’t go to rehab! no.No.NO” oh my god how pathetic! I love the Grammy’s but come on!

Matt | 2/11/2008, 11:28 pm EST

Quote from Miller Kid– “Yeah how was Herbie Hancock even nominated? That was just ridiculous. It was almost as bad as Steely Dan beating Eminem, Radiohead and U2… Give out some awards to the artists that deserve to win, not the most popular.”

Uh, maybe Hancock and Steely Dan *deserved* to win. I’m not saying they did, but saying that awards should go to those who deserve it, “not the most popular” and then lamenting SD’s and Hancock’s wins doesn’t add up.

pasha | 2/11/2008, 11:20 pm EST

video DID kill the radio star.

Midge | 2/11/2008, 10:33 pm EST

I was just confused and in a cringing position most of the night. Was it just me or did the duets not work? I thought Tina was a bit off and did Beyonce step on her during their dance moves? The two tenors? One was a bit flat….and what was the deal with Tom Hanks barely covering “The Band”’s lifetime achievement award and then effusing about the Beatles? Cirque du so what?
Amy Winehouse was stunning in her honesty and her natural talent….but it was a weird show with weird camera angles…

jj | 2/11/2008, 10:32 pm EST

let’s stipulate that the grammy awards are tired, and have been for a long time. but don’t make the mistake of thinking that the latest haircut or drug casualty is “better” than herbie hancock’s tip of the hat to joni, or that what is new is necessarily better than what came before. most pop music is boring. this is nothing new, so let’s not get carried away.

Robert | 2/11/2008, 10:24 pm EST

I totally agree with you, Rolling Stone. While I was watching the Grammys, I couldn’t help but notice these things, although I did enjoy Rihanna’s performance (:

Why is there a need to constantly embrace the past? It’s like overkill. The show should be all about the present, and helping revive the music industry, and embracing future and current talent. There is also no need to show every genre of music. Nobody cares. We only want to focus on the main categories-the general categories (record, song, album of the year etc), and the main categories of the other dominant/musical genres (eg best rnb, country, rock, pop album, performance etc)

The inclusion of Rihanna’s win for best rap/sung collaboration was already indication to me that she was not going to win Record of the Year. Amy Winehouse’s performance immediately before the announcement of the award likewise signaled to me that she was going to win Record of the Year.

The result is a messy, scattered, and skewered telecast.

And oh, regarding Kanye West… I did think he was going to win Album of the Year, but if his acceptance speech for Rap Album of the Year was anything to go by, then I think the Grammys did the right thing!

Example | 2/11/2008, 9:29 pm EST

Kanye West is a major TOOL!
THEY SHOULD HAVE PULLED HIM OFF STAGE WITH A HOOK!
Too bad about his mother! I feel bad that her own insecurity caused her death. When plastic surgery is done for VANITY, trouble brews! Hopefully Kanye doesnt follow those same steps!
He is obviously lost! But all people experience loss he doesnt desreve special treatment for the way he acts! Bottom line, he is a MORON!

D Lace | 2/11/2008, 8:24 pm EST

I thought that the Cirque de Soleil performance was cool. John Mayer with Alicia Keys was a nice touch. The Time outshined Rihanna! I loved the Gospel segment. It’s about time. So I am thankful that they appealed to that audience!

Dori | 2/11/2008, 7:40 pm EST

More ROCK performances

Less POP

Make the music matter and not the outfits and the trashy production numbers.

Let the musicians play and not just talk.

Guitar Queen | 2/11/2008, 7:29 pm EST

Well said Miller Kid. It still baffles me that a jazz version of Joni Mitchell’s work won for album of the year, while there was some good ORIGINAL material nominated.

RockGod | 2/11/2008, 7:17 pm EST

THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAVE THE GRAMMY’S AND MUSIC IN GENERAL IS AXL F’KIN ROSE AND CHINESE DEMOCRACY.

Celia | 2/11/2008, 7:12 pm EST

personally the collaborations on the grammys are one of the things i most look forward to. rihanna with the time was not an example. beyonce sometimes annoys me but DAMN she held her own next to tina. some of the performance was over the top but “proud mary” was fabulous.
i think the cirque du soleil tribute to the beatles was perfectly fitting. the LOVE show is about highlighting the beatles’ music… i don’t think being a “real music fan” should stop anyone from having liked that tribute. i’m a huge beatles fan so maybe i’m just happy to have seen part of the LOVE show without having had to pay for plane tickets and show tickets.

Anonymous | 2/11/2008, 6:20 pm EST

I am not a Kanye fan, but after his tribute to his mother, I had a different view of him. Then he won an award and I hated him more than ever! Is this guy for real? He didn’t invent the wheel, he’s average at best. I hope he ends up like M.C Hammer, broke and doing reality shows later on!!

Midwest Mike | 2/11/2008, 5:37 pm EST

Dude…the Grammy’s were so bad last night I actually longed for the return of the Latin Grammy’s.

Jungleland | 2/11/2008, 5:08 pm EST

Saw VAN HALEN last night instead of watching The Grammys….I win!

Miller Kid | 2/11/2008, 4:37 pm EST

Yeah how was Herbie Hancock even nominated? That was just ridiculous. It was almost as bad as Steely Dan beating Eminem, Radiohead and U2. If the Grammys are about awarding musical excellence why don’t they look toward the future instead of the past? Give out some awards to the artists that deserve to win, not the most popular.

DeadHorse | 2/11/2008, 4:33 pm EST

Gotta be honest, I liked the Cirque De Soleil segment, and this is coming from a music fan that actually *pays* for music, lots of it, at that….And I may get crucified for this, but, “Rehab” was undoubtedly a catchy song. I went out and bought the album. It wasn’t bad, but, there were much better.

Jughead | 2/11/2008, 4:27 pm EST

What’s this? The Grammy’s were on last night? I just crawled out from under my rock and found out today.

T-Love | 2/11/2008, 4:18 pm EST

Everything the music industry does is gigantic mis-step, and they then wonder why the industry is tanking.

eon | 2/11/2008, 4:10 pm EST

I thought the Cirque Du Soleil /Across the Universe Beatles Tribute segment was the most entertaining & interesting part of the night!

Kevo | 2/11/2008, 4:06 pm EST

Pretty sure Cirque du Soleil is fantastic, regardless of how “real” a music fan you are.

It’s best just not to worry about how to improve a show that gives handjobs to the crooks in the record industry.

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