American Idol got off to a sassy start when Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson commented on the length of Paula’s skirt, but last night’s Abdul antics in Miami barely reached “umbrella attack” levels on the Britney scale (as opposed to Tuesday’s show, which peaked at “hostage situation” heights). There was a recovering boy-bander with solid pipes, a tiny Filipino girl with a giant voice and Syisha Mercado, who looked like she actually could be a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. But for the five best moments from last night’s episode, check out these quick clips:
5. Meat-shop employee Shannon McGough looks like a flapper Regina Spektor, but sings … louder. It was a miracle the judges avoided a “butchered the song” joke.
4. Special edition of “Pot and Kettle”: Paula tells big-hearted Ghaleb Emachah he needs to work on his enunciation.
3. Corliss Smith and Brittany Wescott’s memorable audition is spectacular; Simon manages to ruin it with the last word.
2. Feel-good story of the night: single mom Suzanne Toon, who showed more genuine emotion than any other hopeful so far.
1. Julie Dubela is not acting. She really is this obnoxious.

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