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Rock Reality Show Recap: Bret Michaels Begins His Soulmate Search Anew on “Rock of Love 2″

1/14/08, 10:09 am EST

Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love 2, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in our Rock Reality Show Recaps. Here’s our take on episode one:

Sixty Minutes of Rockin’ Reality in Three Sentences: After being dumped by Rock of Love winner Jes at the reunion show (ouch), VH1 rents Bret Michaels and his security guard Big John a second mansion and stocks it with twenty women vying to date a guy in a bandanna who says the word “rock” an average of 100 times per hour. Four women are designated as VIPs and get extra time to impress Michaels (among them Megan: “I am drawn to Bret like a nun to a convent” and the Olsen-twin-esque Daisy), and after a photo shoot and party that quickly divides the girls into “naked” and “mostly clothed” where one hopeful gets too wasted to attend the elimination, Michaels narrows the field to fifteen.

Did Every Rose Have Its Thorn?: Michaels blew the perfect chance to reference the song he loves to reference most — during his retelling of the sad finish to Rock of Love season one! Alas, this episode of Rock of Love 2 was 100 percent “Thorn”-free.

The Most Ridiculous Part: The show isn’t called Rock of Rational Reasoning for good reason, but the premiere episode was stocked with boneheaded moments. While the girls snicker at Michaels kissing “an old woman” (the fabulously Elvira-haired Catherine), they fail to recognize she is nearly the exact same age as the guy they all want to date — of course, Bret forgot his own age too: “Here’s where I’m at in my life right now, I’m forty years old,” the forty-four-year-old rocker proclaims at the top of the show. Though we’re kind of pulling for germaphobe Kristy Joe now, there’s something special about Destiney, the bisexual who Michaels muses will be “the perfect psycho-fan to either make sweet love to me … or kill me.”

The Rockin’ Finish: Michaels decides to keep boozy, barely intelligible Angelique (”I had my breasts done twice!”) and send home a VIP, the MySpace-loving Erin, as well as Jackey, Missi, Ashley and Courtney. Now fifteen ladies remain in a house furnished by Ikea (we knew we recognized those Ektorp couches by the pool!) for a season that promises more “pole skills,” muddy football, crazy roller derby competitions and cameos from our favorite Rock of Love contestants including Lacey, Erin and Rodeo.

[Photo: Getty]


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Comments

kiwi | 10/11/2008, 7:20 pm EST

Bret ends up picking Amber. He is so sexy I wish he would have picked me.

kiwi | 10/11/2008, 7:18 pm EST

he is so hot

susan d. | 9/19/2008, 3:25 am EST

i hate megan. she is straight out after money and fame. they almost had to drag her off the show>> remember how she kept saying no, no, no….. lol

jackie | 7/9/2008, 5:48 pm EST

i think you made a good choice bret picking amber. she seems like really nice girl.

Joe | 4/20/2008, 1:40 pm EST

Hmmm. Middle age has been rocker turns down bimbo groupie for someone almost his own age. I watched this once and saw how this mongomy hating slickster used the same line twice on both girls. What a player!

angie | 4/16/2008, 4:22 pm EST

Thank GOD you got rid of the puker lmaooooooooooooooooo

candylips1333 | 4/15/2008, 8:24 pm EST

BRET ROCKS SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU BRET MICHAELS!

candylips1333 | 4/15/2008, 8:20 pm EST

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BRET!

candylips1333 | 4/15/2008, 8:19 pm EST

i think you picked the right girl for your age.In the next season on ROCK OF LOVE 3 i hope i like it.I LOVE YOU BRET AND JOHN.i still want to know your age.I LOVE SO MUCH BRET MICHAELS.

RENEE | 4/15/2008, 8:04 am EST

BRETT YOU PICKED SOMEONE KIND AND GENEROUS CONGRATTS AMBER SEEMS MELOW AND MORE YOUR AGE LIKE. HOPE IT ALL WORKS SHES JUST NOT SEXY BUT REALLY ON YOUR LEVEL GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE.PS NAY FROM PA

Rio | 4/15/2008, 2:42 am EST

Amber..omg..she is so fake..you need someone to help you Brett..and Daisy…looks like her nose is running all the time..
Made a mistake..Kristy Jo was the one for you..dumb butt..!!

Sabrina | 4/13/2008, 10:10 pm EST

You women (and some men) realize Brett isn’t going to read these posts, don’t you?

Medea | 4/11/2008, 2:13 pm EST

Brett,
Your soulmate isn’t among the ladies left, thoses are cheap dates!

Mag and Kat | 3/18/2008, 10:51 am EST

Hey bret boy thought that you were going to have a nervous break down when Kristy Jo left you,I can’t believe that those other five women stay there after you walked out on them last night.If they had any pride they should have left your sorry ass.By the way we have a idea for your next ROCK OF LOVE 3
why not have a Kristy Jo look alike and bring them all down to your show.Bret Boy I thought you were a real man but now I know you are like all the rest.All talk and and full of rock Shit (CACA) thats shit in espanol.

Mag and Kat/California | 3/13/2008, 8:31 am EST

hey bret whats up with those tight jeans,you areally look hot in them I wonder if you look hot out of them,really like your show will you be coming to California any time soon.Sure do like those lips of yours.

I LOVE BRET!!! | 3/12/2008, 1:26 pm EST

Bret Rocks!!! If he wants to find true love he need to get away from those fake ass girls who only want fame and find someone real. I feel bad for Kristy Joe. They should really give her a break. Megan is just a bitch who acts like her shit don’t stink. Daisy is so fake. I wonder how much she paid for her face. Everyone else on the show is okay. Big John is Awesome!

Crystal Bradshaw | 3/6/2008, 10:31 am EST

Last nite March 5th 2008, I watched a show that had Dallas and Lacey fighting. It also had a girl named Jes. Is this the first show or the second. Even if the show is fake….Brett is still nice to look at!

nicole/chicago | 2/21/2008, 8:59 pm EST

bret is the cutiedt 44 year old ive ever seen.who cares if he likes younger women….and i think hes gonna choose daisy because shes awsome,down to earth and she has some awsome tattoos

ginny | 2/18/2008, 1:59 pm EST

Bret is definitely doing this to make good fun reality tv…there is no way he would want to continue with any of these girls after the show…Kristy Joe has 2 restraining orders on 2 husbands…that is definitely a big RED FLAG to let her go…she deals with men by giving them restraining orders…Bret needs to run from that…it’s like she’s bragging about having restraining orders, but it actually makes it seem very weird!
Megan is stupid and I hate it when she keeps putting down older women - does she know how old Bret is?!!! Bret should not keep her just because of those comments alone. Daisy is dumb! And Bret figured that out when they actually had to talk during a meal!!! They are all grossing me out …and Amber is definitely the best girl there - but she might not be naughty enough for Bret!!!

keely cole | 2/12/2008, 8:20 am EST

Ok this one is for Bret…If he sees through all the bullshit I just want him to know there would be no regrets if he contacted me after the show is over and it does not work out!! So Bret if you are planning on coming through Denver look me up! I promise it would not be a waste of you time!!

bug | 1/22/2008, 11:00 pm EST

are these women so desperate for attention that they would open themselves up for the criticism they so richly deserve.jerry springer has a “trailer park jeopardy” compared to this ridiculous self depraving load of mary kay rejects.

Al | 1/17/2008, 10:42 am EST

Bret is just a tad hot! If he is looking for a real women he should come to Chino Valley,AZ. Those girls on the show are all fake ! I sure the hell wouldn’t share my man!

Glenda | 1/16/2008, 5:13 pm EST

I tuned into season one late yet could see that a woman with Jes’personality, heart, maturity, and poise would be good for Bret. If he can find a woman (not girl) who is grounded and closer to his age, he’d be blessed. But would he even recognize these honorable traits?

You don’t find such a woman on a reality TV show. Look around at the other rock stars. Are their wives sluts? NO! Look elsewhere, if you are serious, Bret. Ask yourself if you would want any of these women around your two children. Ask yourself if you’d be proud to introduce any of these girls to your parents and true friends. You won’t find what you are looking for this way, providing you are even sincere about it, which I doubt.

I won’t be watching anymore episodes.

I know her | 1/16/2008, 1:02 pm EST

Kristy Joe is married to my friend Howie, she’s on there for acting. I was disappointed to hear the show wasn’t real. Boo hiss on that.

DUDE | 1/16/2008, 2:48 am EST

Sanchez, For someone who claims to hate the show and Brett Micheals, you sure seem to spend a lot of time watching the show and obsessing about it.
P.S. It’s loser, not “Looser”
It’s entertainment, “Dirty Sanchez”

"Rock Star Guard Mode" Bret | 1/15/2008, 5:21 pm EST

your life is reduced to reading this column about this stupid show, sanchezzzzzz

red-haired goddess | 1/15/2008, 12:30 am EST

oh, no. another season of sticky sweet entries from love-sick bubblebrains!

i’m sorry, i don’t get it. i prefer men that look like men!

i have a question, isn’t it in bret’s best interest to never find true love so he can continue to have a tv show?

could we get 10 years of watching a rotting and fat bret getting his pick of used up bar whores?

either bret finds love or the apocolypse!

stay tuned . . . out, girls!

debbie | 1/14/2008, 11:44 pm EST

watched the show with my friend, and we laughed the whole time.a lot of dumb and low class woman.jes in the 1st one had to much class,and smarts for bret. bret is in his 40s. it is time to grow up. just cause your a rock star doesnt make you a better person. the show is a great joke.

Lisa | 1/14/2008, 11:13 pm EST

Brett cant be a drag Queen. I am sure he is balding under that bandana.

Anonymous | 1/14/2008, 11:12 pm EST

Is Brett losing his hair? Is that why he has that damn bandana on????

Killer Allah | 1/14/2008, 8:38 pm EST

This show ROCKS with a capital R!!!

No all the women aren’t beauty queens but so what? A couple are cute enough to make up for it. I’ll be watching this show ALL season.

Who cares about Megan…What about Inna, Kristy Joe, Roxy, Daisy, and Amber.

Hot enough for me. Roxy is a hit!

keely cole | 1/14/2008, 8:11 pm EST

I am sure Bret took part in picking these girls so it is a surprise to me that not one of them is attractive they have nice bodies not one has a pretty face!! Last season Heather, Lacey, Jes were attractive women! I guess this is who he is attracted to they all look like trailer park loosers!!!!!

John Cenas number1 fan | 1/14/2008, 8:10 pm EST

Bret rox!! I think he will also pick the right person!!! Every Rose has its Thorn is a great song!!!! I hope he falls in love with some 1 that has the same intrest as he does.Bret if u read this I love u and hope u end up with the right girl!!Good luck Bret!!!

miranda | 1/14/2008, 7:20 pm EST

Bret rocks!!! I hope he finds his true love this time! I really hope he does not end up with Erin. Also I hope he does not end up with the transfested.

Mike/Houston,TX. | 1/14/2008, 5:15 pm EST

He has always looked feminine and like a woman. Like Kelly LeBrock with blond hair - or at least he tries. He’s from the era when male rock bands dressed like women, wore makeup, extremely tight spandex, obsessed with themselves and even thought they were better looking as such than real females - and openly admitted it in the press. Yuck. File Under: DRAG QUEEN ROCK

Melissa Goodell | 1/14/2008, 5:12 pm EST

Yeah Megan is DEF from Beauty and the Geek..

......... | 1/14/2008, 2:59 pm EST

is it just me, or does he look like a woman in that picture

fuck reality tv

A Real Winner | 1/14/2008, 12:44 pm EST

Jennifer thanks for pointing that out. That’s all I could think of everytime she was on the screen. They should bring in her partner Scooter to fight with Brett.

JENNIFER | 1/14/2008, 10:47 am EST

BEING A REALITY SHOW JUNKIE I AM POSITIVE THAT MEGAN “THE LADY IN RED” IS A WINNER FROM BEAUTY AND THE GEEK.IM SURE THAT WILL COME UP IN THE SHOW SOMEWHERE THAT SHE IS AFTER FAME.ALSO SHE IS A CYBER GIRL FOR PLAYBOY.

Sanchez | 1/14/2008, 10:21 am EST

If your life is reduced to following a show like this you should truely put something stronger and more fatal in your drink.

:Shakes head:

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