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“Celebrity Apprentice” Kiss Meter: Gene Simmons Goes to War

1/11/08, 1:31 pm EST

Though we all love Stephen Baldwin, Marilu Henner and Tito Ortiz, our favorite contestant from NBC’s Donald Trump-hosted Celebrity Apprentice has got to be the Demon himself, Gene Simmons. Each week, we’ll be tracking the Kiss frontman’s progress and rating him based on one of his band’s legendary albums.

This Week’s Task: Pedigree wants a commercial plugging their dog adoption program, which leads to an ad that involves a partially nude Lennox Lewis and many adorable puppies.
Simmons’ Contribution: In addition to taking control of the production of the commercial, Gene also found time to accuse Ivanka Trump of spying for the women, declare that “it’s his job” to hit on the ladies, and invoke Sun Tzu during the male team’s victorious final presentation (see above).
Kiss Album Rating: 1976’s Rock and Roll Over. It was another platinum performance, this time with a heavy emphasis on Simmons’ libido. It’s no wonder the guy wrote “Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em.”


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Comments

jedi_ringo | 1/18/2008, 3:58 am EST

Gene is tops!
With his black shredded wheat hair and ego

Grace | 1/17/2008, 11:53 pm EST

Gene acted exactly as I would have expected and rightly so.Your exit very timely. Right on, Gene.

FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE" | | 1/14/2008, 5:50 pm EST

RE: ThisOldDoll | 1/14/2008, 4:52 am EST

“Doesn’t anyone think this guy is a rude, condescending, pompous, jerk? I don’t care what he’s produced or how good his music is, no human being could be as wonderful as he thinks he is!”

That’s right, man. I totally agree! He should take his high-octane ego bullshit and shove it! Mr. Smoke and mirrors!!!

I wonder how he would handle a personal tragedy. He’s had the world by the balls since was 25. No one, I mean, no one can ride that high forever. It’s gonna catch up with him. And when it does then we’ll find out what he’s really all about!!!

ThisOldDoll | 1/14/2008, 4:52 am EST

Doesn’t anyone think this guy is a rude, condescending, pompous, jerk? I don’t care what he’s produced or how good his music is, no human being could be as wonderful as he thinks he is!

Lee | 1/13/2008, 6:22 pm EST

Its great that Apprentice went from creating celebrities out of nobodies to using celebrities, and thus making the show more interesting still.
TRUMP, you are a genius!!

DevilDog | 1/13/2008, 6:08 pm EST

Gene rocks the house!

Knock their teeth in!

COMPLELELY ELECTRIFYING!!! | 1/13/2008, 4:27 pm EST

“There are some people here that are just bashing Gene because either they are jealous or they just dont like KISS’s music”

You know what I say to that? Rama Lama Fa Fa Fa!!!

Bluestraps | 1/13/2008, 5:08 am EST

There are some people here that are just bashing Gene because either they are jealous or they just dont like KISS’s music

Gene is a very efective businessman . KISS would not have taken advantage of all its opportunites without Gene

There are a few who did not contribute to the tasks ,and they were the ones kicked off plain and simple

Watch the show and learn something !!

David Keller, Akron, Ohio USA | 1/13/2008, 2:52 am EST

Get down, Gene!

He rocks more ‘out of makeup’ than with it on - - definitely the “Marlon Brando” Godfather of Metal.(!)

He out to start his own ‘Apprentice’ show…

“The Dark Apprentice” (!)
with Donald Trump as a Contestant!

R2-D2 | 1/12/2008, 9:52 pm EST

re: px74 | 1/12/2008, 7:12 pm EST

“how hypocritical that the “great” Rolling Stone is now in the corner of an artist that actually hates the magazine and what it represents - and rightly so I might add. (ref nov 24 1991″

Gene Simmons hates Rolling Stone? Whaaaaat? The KING OF ALL MEDIA WHORES? Nah-ah! He might say something nasty, but this dude never met a camera or an eager journalist he didn’t like!

px74 | 1/12/2008, 7:12 pm EST

how hypocritical that the “great” Rolling Stone is now in the corner of an artist that actually hates the magazine and what it represents - and rightly so I might add. (ref nov 24 1991 - all you KISS fans know what I’m talking about).
Go Gene, show these young pretentious rockers what a real rock star is all about - show, pompous attitude and larger than life get up.

Buzzzzz, . . Sorry! | 1/12/2008, 6:14 pm EST

. . . And Dynasty is a great record, even though most people just don’t get it!

Ace’s contributions were absolutely stellar, and Paul really brought some new creativity musically to the record (and I don’t mean “I Was Made For Loving, which a great song, and no, it’s NOT A FUCKIN’ DISCO SONG! The 4 to the floor beat is the only thing remotely disco about the song!)

Buzzzzz, . . Sorry! | 1/12/2008, 6:09 pm EST

re: MIKE | 1/12/2008, 4:35 pm EST

KISS is Gene and Paul. Those are the two the band can’t live with out.

Wrong. PAUL is the one KISS can’t live without! Ace’s vibe is sorely missed in this band; he’s a genius guitar player, and Peter Criss, with only Alex Van Halen as the only exception, is the most underrated drummer in rock history! Now that boy has a vibe! A Great studio drummer and he’s absolutely a HOUSE OF FIRE Live!!!

Gene’s songs are just not as good as Paul’s. Period. It’s not even close. Gene’s songs tend to have goofy half-baked riffs. Paul not only brings the riffs but the true rockstar attitude, of bringing it hard and holding nothing back.

Gene’s too concerned about his dick to really rip it out like Paul. The band is diluted and stilted without the firey passion of Peter and Ace. That’s it!

And “Rocket Ride” rips all Gene Songs to fuckin’ shreads!!!

COMPLELELY ELECTRIFYING!!! | 1/12/2008, 5:10 pm EST

re: gene | 1/12/2008, 4:28 pm EST

Hey boring, “MY DOG’S BIGGER THAN YOUR DOG”

Well . . .My electric blend of rock and roll is a RAGING FUCKIN’ TIGER that will rip your little puppy to shreads, Gino!

YOu’re sexy? I’m sexier!
You’re a rock star? Well the skies are about to rain Rock and Roll White Hot Comets down upon ALL You Mothers!!!

Get on Board The Rockstar Butterfly, baby!!!

I will borrow a phrase from the late and great MC5er, Robin Tyner we’re gonna, “KICK OUT THE JAMS, MOTHERFUCKERS”

You spit fire, but I’m gonna melt the Hollywood sign like a marshmallow!

There’s new sheriff in town, and he doesn’t take shit from ANYONE!!!

MIKE | 1/12/2008, 4:35 pm EST

KISS is Gene and Paul. Those are the two the band can’t live with out. Love Ace and Peter, but they are the ones that are the most important. Gene is the best, hands down. Gene = ratings

gene | 1/12/2008, 4:28 pm EST

Hey boring, “MY DOG’S BIGGER THAN YOUR DOG”

Marilu H. | 1/12/2008, 2:36 pm EST

re: ” FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE” | 1/12/2008, 8:00 am EST

“A Knives-Out Rock Editorial

by Who Cares?”

“KISS would rock just as hard without him, be taken more seriously as a band, and wouldn’t look like the clownish yard sale he’s turned this great band into!”

A “Clownish yard sale”, that’s terrific! Could I borrow that and scream it in Gene’s face?
Thanks!

Hugs and Kisses,
Marilu

PS Are you into redheads by any chance?

boring | 1/12/2008, 12:03 pm EST

re: Gene | 1/12/2008, 8:55 am EST

“Boring, Gene makes the show. That is so clear. Get a life and move out of moms basement.”

Hey “Gene”, you’re an “important” person supposedly, right?

Well, I’ve met plenty of important people in my life, and I’M NOT IMPRESSED!

Take your high-octane ego bullshit somewhere else, buddy!

Gene | 1/12/2008, 8:55 am EST

Boring, Gene makes the show. That is so clear. Get a life and move out of moms basement.

" FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE" | 1/12/2008, 8:50 am EST

and i’m not talking about gene!

" FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE" | 1/12/2008, 8:49 am EST

i wish i knew what your problem was

" FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE" | 1/12/2008, 8:00 am EST

A Knives-Out Rock Editorial

by Who Cares?

“I think Gene is a genius”

Sure, he’s is. He’s been repackaging and reselling the same shit for 30 years.

It’s the fuckin’ goonie fans who must own EVERYTHING KISS keep the money machine rolling, not Gene’s “genius”!

I think “Mr. McKeon” has given a pretty detailed list of a typical Gene Simmons brainstorm session.
(see KISS collectable products thingee page)

Minless Products for mindless people. And his sex life is a COMIC BOOK CREATION by writing his cheezy sex slave songs and putting
on his leather clown costume!

FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE!!!

Could you see him trying to pull that shit in the real world? He’d be hit with so many sexual harrassment lawsuits his head would spin!

Not to mention the contuous trips to the emergency room from getting repeated ass beatings (completely justified) from rightly protectlive boyfriends!

If Gene Simmons wasn’t GENE SIMMONS where would he be?

I don’t think, “Hi, I’m Gene Simmons, and I want to hog-tie you and jackoff on your big hot tits” would go over so well if he were slicing cold cuts in a deli, do you?

FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE!!!

Paul Stanley writes all the great ones, Ace rips on the guitar, and Peter, yes Peter, ripped it up on the drums.

They could’ve easily found a guy to play Gene’s AMAZING bass lines, and dressed him as a pirate for all it really mattered!

Any one of a thousand people could’ve learned the fire breathing trick from a circus performer like he did!

FAAAAAHHHH-Q, GENE!!!

Gene Simmons is the most unnecessary member of KISS and the most unnecessary celebrity.

Wow, what a great line of bullshit, “I’m Gene and Everything I Do Is Great”

I can do a perfect impersonation of him, but bring some cleverness and real humor to the siutation!

FAAAAAAHHHHH-Q,G ENE!

KISS would rock just as hard without him, be taken more seriously as a band, and wouldn’t look like the clownish yard sale he’s turned this great band into!

. . . And, he’s the fuckhead who keeps kicking out Ace and Peter for any capricious whim in favor of Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer.

In short, FAAAAHHHHHQ, GENE!

Mod | 1/12/2008, 4:06 am EST

Previous Apprentice seasons were painful to watch, unless of course you were the type that enjoyed watching a pack of ass kissers shoved so far up Trump’s ass. Trump will have ratings success solely because of Gene Simmons. People will tune in each week to see Gene and only Gene.

brad | 1/11/2008, 10:25 pm EST

have fun sorting it all out

boring boring boring boring | 1/11/2008, 10:12 pm EST

same old tired crap from the same old tired people who cares i wish i knew what planet you were all from because nothing that happens here is fun or interesting just same old boring brain dead song and dance from same old mindless dorks about as boring as the passing landscape but it’s simple non threatening and safe wild and crazy and mean people who could make this interesting are kicked to the curb boring safe predictable shit i’m surprised you people that sit there all night long want to read this boring shit well what do i know i just go in with both guns blazing not taking shit from anyone morons are safe and warm here

cousinmikey056@yahoo.com | 1/11/2008, 9:36 pm EST

Gene Simmons is the outright star of the show. Trump throw’s the party; Gene IS the party! There is no way that Trump has the high I.Q. of Gene. I think Gene is a genious!

Mcc 0725 | 1/11/2008, 8:05 pm EST

Gene Simmons is soooo cool, he makes the show. He is so natural, just can not dislike his character. The male team just dominates. With all the testosterones put together, the women does not have a fighting chance. Marilu Henner is not enough to make the female team interesting enough.

someone else | 1/11/2008, 7:47 pm EST

re: someone | 1/11/2008, 6:25 pm EST

“instead, it promotes arogance and entitlement attitude that obviously donald and ivanka have planty of. therefore the elemination of the only foreign contestant”

I think there’s a fog around your head that’s affected your perception!
I think your imposing ideas that simply don’t fit!

“they provide too much of a contrast that makes the narrowminded majority significantly insecure.”

And this is something that must make sense to only you. I can’t make heads or tails of it!

Katie Kat | 1/11/2008, 7:33 pm EST

Kate Nash Identical Twin Sis | 1/11/2008, 6:41 pm EST
Ummm . . . Well, “No one”, they’’re doing it for charity, so your amatuerish psychoanalysis of their “arrogant and entitlement attitude” is pure bullshit!
If they’re a bit cocky, they’’ll make more proceeds for their various charities!

Mark | 1/11/2008, 6:57 pm EST

Gene is the best. He tells it like most of us see it, but would be scared to say. The GOD OF THUNDER is the reason most people are watching!

Kate Nash Identical Twin Sis | 1/11/2008, 6:41 pm EST

Ummm . . . Well, “No one”, they’re doing it for charity, so your amatuerish psychoanalysis of their “arrogant and entitlement attitude” is pure bullshit!

If they’re a bit cocky, they’ll make more proceeds for their various charities!

someone | 1/11/2008, 6:25 pm EST

the show is so stupid and it has nothing to do with ability. instead, it promotes arogance and entitlement attitude that obviously donald and ivanka have planty of. therefore the elemination of the only foreign contestant - they provide too much of a contrast that makes the narrowminded majority significantly insecure.

Dayna Steele | 1/11/2008, 3:24 pm EST

I agree. He is hands down the best contestant. And oh what fun to watch….

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