Every week on The Salt-N-Pepa Show, two MCs from the late Eighties try to prove they don’t hate each other (and the rap game), while our Rock Reality Show Recaps attempt to prove we don’t resent VH1 for exploiting the heroes of our youth. Here’s our take on the seventh episode:

Thirty Minutes in Three Sentences: Salt and Pep explore some ideas for Salt-N-Pepa branding, listening to presentations on everything from salt-shaker-spinning board games to rhinestone-labeled protective heels. Out of desperation Salt finally listens to Pepa’s hair-weave franchise fantasy (”Some people can’t grow hair. They need hair and we can supply it!”). Pep takes Salt on a little educational field trip to the dead-hair store and a salon. A history of weaves and one wig later, Salt warms up to the idea of the hip-hop duo putting their name on some pre-packaged locks.

Disowning the Shoop: Lured in by Pepa’s erudite discourse on the subject, Salt decided to try some hair augmentation for herself. But Salt effectively forfeited all probability of shoop with her husband by donning the styled wig, temporarily transforming Salt-N-Pepa to Pepa squared. Pepa even explained the physics of wigs (glue and double-sided tape), saying she needed a little extra security with her own “in case someone wanna try me.” After two days of scratching her own head and head shakes from her husband, Salt forgave the mane living on her scalp (”I’m not mad at it”), even after realizing she looked like the post-makeover cowardly lion from Oz.

Whatta Band: In addition to the miracle that the producers managed to edit an entire episode about hair, last night’s show opened up with a glorious photo montage, a tribute to all the different styles of hair that bounced around on Salt-N-Pepa’s trend-setting heads. The two went through braids, bleached-blonde hair and asymmetrical cuts (Pepa: “Any cut – Salt-N-Pepa had it. Or Pepa had it.”) The montage brought back good memories of the Eighties’ all-primary-color wardrobes topped off with a fez and gold chains heavy enough to do some damage in a weave fight. Nothing screams sexy hip-hop like stonewashed jeans, gold hoops and poodle hair. Bring it back and brand that, please.

Pushin’ It Forward: Their tagline “Salt-N-Pepa’s here” transformed to “Salt-N-Pepa’s hair” by the end of the episode, with two giant pictures of the wigged-out girls right on the product packaging (Pep: “Look! My face on a pack of hair. I’ve been dying to see this”). Salt still wasn’t crazy about the idea, but she did attempt to see the world through the eyes of Pep by going on a hair “journey” with her — granted the hair got stuck in everything from coffee cups to car doors during the journey. But a brand name, whatever the product, guarantees the two will be in business together for at least a little while longer.